True Companion
by Sessy-sama
Summary: COMPLETE and EDITED! 10 yrs have passed since Naraku died and everything settled into a normal life, even for Sessy & Rin. But now Rin is kidnapped while he is away and must face the most terrifing time in her life. Will she bear what happens or will her
1. Survival

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from InuYasha.

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I have combined the first three chapters into one and gone through the whole story for editing purposes, as it is I also removed author comments to previous reviews I received, so if it looks different that is why.

I do not know how many know the term otouto, most of you will probably recognize niisan to be older brother, otouto is younger brother. If you know I have used either grammatically wrong, please tell me so I can fix them. I spell Sesshoumaru's horse/creature's name as Ahun, I have also seen it as AhUn, as well as Ah and Un. It is just my preference to use Ahun, I do not know for sure if it is the correct spelling. Also the story takes place roughly 10 years after InuYasha the series.

Note: This chapter does contain a torture and rape scene. It is the only one of the story.

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True Companion

Her body cried out in pain and every breath felt like daggers tearing across her lungs. The woman's right arm shook, while her left hung limply at her side, twisted into an unnatural angle. Blood flowed down her cold, exposed skin as the demon standing above her ran a dagger across her cheek pressing just hard enough to pierce the flesh.

"Bitch, you shouldn't have run away. We were going to keep you alive until your precious Lord and Master came. Niisan wanted to have you die in front of his eyes, but since you ran away no one is here to stop me from killing you…right…now." The demon grabbed her already destroyed left arm and twisted it even further causing her to scream in agony. "Come now, if you drop to your knees and beg me I will do as Niisan ordered and bring you back alive, of course, either way you will die eventually. So, beg me, beg for your meaningless life."

The woman's body wanted to comply and fall to the ground, not to beg him, but simply to rest; however, she refused to give the demon the pleasure of seeing her fall. She looked up, stared into his blood red eyes, and spat in his face. "You will die. He will kill you."

"Bitch!" The demon punched her in the stomach forcing her to double over in pain. "I am sick of hearing that! You still think he is going to come and rescue you? Perhaps I'll kill you now, just so I can see your face as you realize your precious Sesshoumaru didn't come to save you."

"Sesshoumaru-sama will kill you for insulting him, not to save me."

"So you ran to try and save your pathetic life. Rin, here I thought you were loyal to him."

"You cannot take my life." Rin coughed and blood drained from her mouth. "No one can take my life, except Sesshoumaru-sama."

The demon's anger was rising to the highest she had ever seen. He lifted her up by her haphazardly cut hair and placed the dagger at her throat. "If I shove this in your neck right now, I'm sure you'll die."

Despite every emotion that was running through her body Rin showed none and spoke calmly. "I may die, but when Sesshoumaru-sama comes he has the choice to restore my life. So you see only Sesshoumaru-sama can truly take my life." She let a pained smile form. "And if he chooses this to be my death, I shall embrace it."

The demon's anger could go no further and he pulled back the dagger and thrust it, not into her neck, but her stomach. "I'll let you embrace it! Slowly, die very slowly and painfully! Let's see what your Sesshoumaru does." He pulled out his dagger and began walking back to him camp, dragging Rin behind him.

Rin was surprised to find her new wound did not hurt that much more than her others. She had been beaten so much all the pain felt the same, it was impossible to tell what hurt most, it all did. But as the demon dragged her along the rough path and the last of her strength flowed from the wound in her stomach Rin began wondering why all this had to happen. It had been just like any other time Sesshoumaru left her alone, so why did it come to this?

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Sesshoumaru and Jaken had gone off to take care of something. Rin never asked what it was, Sesshoumaru was a powerful demon and she understood that he didn't want her to know or see some of what he did. He had done that ever since she was a child, and that was fine with Rin. They left Ahun with her, in case she needed anything, and the two of them were near a river, Rin catching some fish for her dinner and Ahun resting along the bank watching her. After she caught enough to satisfy herself she brought them over to where Ahun was lying and went to find some firewood.

She was almost finished when she heard a horrifying roar and bright lights appearing near where Ahun rested. Rin dropped the wood and ran back to see what was going on but stopped when she saw Ahun, body split in two and heads tossed aside like bad pieces of meat. Two men stood over the demon's carcass, and by their appearance they were obviously demons. One held a bladed staff dripping with blood and the other a sword sheathed at his waist. The one that had killed Ahun had a cold expression in his eyes, which were as black as the moonless night. The other was smiling, obviously reveling in the kill made by the other. His eyes burned red with excitement.

Suddenly, the red eyed demon stopped smiling and sniffed at the air. He closed his eyes and started laughing such an evil laugh Rin's blood went cold in her veins.

"Otouto," the black eyed demon said, "do you smell our prey?"

The red eyed demon laughed again. "Why yes, Niisan, and her scent is intoxicating." He opened his eyes and looked directly at Rin. "It is making me so very hungry."

Rin turned and ran back into the trees weaving and turning to try and throw off any pursuit by the demons. But no matter how far she ran she heard no footsteps but her own. Rin didn't stop though, she kept running hoping to find her way to a village they had passed a short while before Sesshoumaru had left. Suddenly, she heard the sound of leaves rustling above her, but no wind was blowing. By the time she looked up it was too late, the red eyed demon jumped from the branches to block her path. Rin turned to run but the demon grabbed her left arm and yanked her back, breaking the bones he held onto in the process.

He lifted her off the ground by her throbbing arm and leaned in close to her face, breathing in her scent. "Simply intoxicating." He smiled and opened his mouth, showing off a pair of fangs, before leaning down to her shoulder.

"Otouto," the elder demon's voice caused the one holding Rin to stop in mid motion. "Otouto, I want her alive for now."

This statement obviously infuriated the younger and she heard a deep growl coming from him. "Sesshoumaru won't know we've killed her, he'll come either way."

Rin heard the elder demon walk up behind her, and an arm wrapped around her waist. "Otouto, give me the woman. You will not kill her till Sesshoumaru arrives to watch her die."

The younger demon growled again but released Rin. She drew her arm to her body and cradled it against her. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt such pain. "Woman, what is your name?" Rin didn't answer. "Woman, if you do not answer my questions I shall let him do as he pleases." He began to give her back to his brother who looked ready to eat her.

"Rin. My name is Rin."

He pulled her away from his brother again. "Good. Now, Rin, when is Sesshoumaru to return?"

"I don't know."

"Rin, you really shouldn't lie to me." He began pushing her forward again.

"I swear! Sesshoumaru-sama leaves and I wait for him to return. Sometimes it is a few days, others it can be weeks, but I never know when he leaves." This was of course a lie, but one that was definitely plausible. Sesshoumaru had told her he would be gone for three days, and this was only the first, but no matter what, she did not want them preparing a trap for him.

The elder was quiet for a moment, deciding whether or not to believe her story. Finally, he lifted Rin up and held her over his shoulder. "Then you should hope it is short this time. Otouto, let's go." The younger brother looked frustrated that he could not play with his prey but did as he was told.

Rin was carried out of the trees and down along the river. As they passed the area Ahun's corpse lay, tears fell from Rin's eyes, and she prayed Sesshoumaru would bring him back to life. The younger demon saw her crying and laughed his cold, dark laugh. "If the death of one beast makes you cry, then I will enjoy our time together."

His words terrified Rin. She forced herself to stop crying and focused on the pain her arm was in, so as to stop thinking about what he meant. She was beginning to realize if she was going to live till Sesshoumaru arrived she would have to stop showing weakness. Rin wasn't sure how far down river she was taken, but soon they entered a forest so thick the light could not penetrate through the treetops. Soon Rin heard voices, some laughing, some screaming, and she could see light ahead of them.

They headed for the light and entered a clearing occupied by what appeared to be human bandits and a number of women who looked as terrified as Rin felt. When they reached the center of the camp the demon threw Rin to the ground, right onto her already broken arm. Pain once again encompassed her entire arm and she had to use all her will not to scream out.

One of the bandits approached them, but smiling at Rin. "Looks like your hunt went well, Boss. We haven't had one this pretty in a long time."

"This woman is off limits," the elder said without even looking at the bandit.

The bandit looked disappointed and Rin could hear a number of the other men whispering angrily. "Come on Boss, you never do anything with them anyway, let us have her."

The demon turned to the bandit, his black eyes showing no emotion but causing the human become unbelievably frightened. "Do not question my orders."

"Never, Boss. I…I'm sorry."

The demon looked to Rin. "This woman has a very special purpose." Rin wasn't whether she should be relieved or not, but the demon's next statement told her she should not. "This woman must be made to know the most suffering a person can before they die. Otouto, you can play, but don't kill."

The demon's red eyes seemed to glow with excitement. He walked up to Rin and took her face in his hand. "Do you have anything to say before we start playing? Beg for mercy, perhaps."

Rin's fear was stopping her from thinking straight, she wanted to tell him she wasn't afraid of him, that he was a bastard, but she was afraid, too afraid to even say that. Finally, she managed think of the only thing she truly believed. So with a strong, confident voice Rin said, "Sesshoumaru-sama will kill you all."

The whole camp started laughing except for the demon still staring at her. "Then I will make sure he has a reason to." He dug his claws into her skin. "But not tonight."

The boss eyed his brother curiously. "Otouto?"

The demon threw Rin aside and walked to the nearest woman. "That bitch made me want to kill someone, so I will play with _her_ tomorrow." Rin saw the woman's face fill with fear as the demon picked her up and took her to a nearby tent.

"Tie her up and keep a watch on her at all times," the boss ordered as he headed for a tent on the other side of the camp.

The bandits obeyed their orders, doing nothing more than tying her to a stake in the ground. Throughout the night Rin heard screaming coming from the tent the younger demon had taken the woman to. With each scream Rin's fear grew until the screams stopped with one blood-curdling shriek of pain and terror. A moment later, the demon came out completely covered in blood and headed straight for Rin, a smile of pleasure on his face.

He held a blood soaked hand to her nose. "Do you like the smell? I love the smell of blood, especially of human women. There is just something about it that makes me crave it more and more once I catch the scent. You had best get used to the smell." He wiped the blood across her face and walked away laughing.

Rin received no sleep that night and had little more to do than imagine what would happen when the demon came for her. Her fear filled every part of her being, but she knew she could not show it. When she was a child she had gone mute from watching bandits kill her family; even when she was beaten by the village she never made a sound, she could do it again. She had to. The pain in her left arm was excruciating and the fact that she had been tied with her arms behind her only made it worse. She used that pain to teach herself how to keep a calm appearance regardless of torture, for she knew more was to come.

Just before sunrise, when the rest of the camp was asleep and Rin's own body was wearing down from exhaustion, a woman carrying a small bucket approached her. She knelt down in front of Rin and lifted a ladle full of water from the bucket. Until she saw the water Rin had managed to forget how thirsty she was, but now she could barely stand the feeling. The woman brought the ladle to Rin's mouth and let her drink. She did this several times, taking care that not a drop was wasted.

"If they find out I did this they will kill me," the woman said as she carefully wiped Rin's face clean of any evidence.

"Why are you helping me then?"

"You aren't the first to suffer like this. I remember what is it like to be thirsty and have no water in sight. Once Akki-sama takes you I will not be able to help you at all. I at least wanted to help you for now."

"Thank you." Rin hesitated a moment and just as she was about to speak the woman stopped her.

"Please, you don't want to know before it happens. All I can tell you is if you don't scream he will lose interest much faster. That's how I survived, he knocked me unconscious, but I didn't die from it. He enjoys hearing the scream more than anything else." The woman stood up and quietly returned to one of the small tents.

_Don't scream . . .everyone has their limits. How long will I last?_

Rin slowly drifted into an uneasy sleep only to be awakened by numbingly cold water being dumped over her body. She shivered as the water soaked her kimono making the freezing cloth cling to her body. Above her Akki stood with a hungry expression on his face.

"Are you thirsty yet?" He tossed away the now empty bucket and took another from one of the bandits. "You haven't had anything to eat or drink since yesterday, you must be very thirsty by now."

Rin failed to stop her body from shaking, so she just stared at him as calmly as she could. "Sesshoumaru-sama will kill you."

Akki's brow narrowed. "I see I will have plenty of fun breaking you. But before we begin," he kneeled down and grabbed her jaw, opening her mouth and tilting her head back, "how about a drink?"

He tipped the bucket over her face and water streamed into her mouth. She couldn't breathe as the liquid rushed down her throat choking her, and no matter how much she twisted her head she couldn't get away from the flow. Just as she thought she was going to drown the water stopped coming and Akki released her from his grip.

Rin threw her head down and coughed up all she could get out of her lungs. She had never felt what it was like to drown before, and she didn't want to again. She kept her head down till she was sure all of the terror was out of her face, then looked up at Akki with the coldest eyes she could manage.

Akki just laughed as she stared at him, then without warning his eye lit up and his laughter reached an unbelievable pitch. "Untie her! I thought of the perfect thing to do!" The bandits barely had time to cut the ropes binding Rin to the stake before Akki lifted her by her kimono and dragged her into the tent he had taken the woman to the night before.

Nothing had prepared Rin for what she saw inside that tent. The cloth was stained red from blood and the woman's body had been butchered, pieces lay scattered about the edges of the tent. Bones littered the ground and Akki walked over then as if they were nothing more than twigs in his way. The smell was what affected Rin the most; the smell of blood and death infected her and clung to every inch of her clothing. There was no part of the small tent that didn't reek of decay, and despite all her efforts the odor was more than Rin could bear. Her body heaved as it tried to expel what Rin didn't have in her, only acid burned her throat.

Akki laughed and threw her to the ground waiting for her to stop convulsing, which to Rin's annoyance took several minutes. She hated that she already showed such weakness, but it had been far too many years since she had been exposed to such a brutal scene as this. She remained on the ground a moment more to regain her composure.

"How are you feeling, my dear? A little sick to your stomach? Poor, poor child, you had better get used to the smell, you will be spending a lot of time in here."

_Two days, just two more days and Sesshoumaru-sama will return. I have to survive two days._

Akki walked over to where she kneeled and forced her to look him in the face. His red eyes burned with anticipation. "I have been trying to think of the perfect way to start our time together, and I finally decided."

Akki pulled her kimono open revealing her shoulders and upper chest. His smile broadened, showing his fangs, as he looked down at her bare flesh. He lowered his mouth to the area where her neck met her shoulder and Rin heard a low growl just before he bit into her. Had he been able to see her face Akki would have been pleased by her reaction. Though she managed not to scream Rin had not fully prepared herself and her face gave away all the pain and fear she felt. As her muscles tensed Akki pressed harder into her shin causing blood to overflow her shoulder and pelt her fallen kimono, but Rin held what little control she still had and refused to scream.

Rin could hear a growl growing deep in Akki's throat. He pulled his head up sharply, his teeth ripping through Rin's flesh, still she remained silent. His face was twisted in anger and Rin's blood dripped from his mouth onto her pale skin. "You will scream for me!" Akki ripped her kimono the rest of the way off, his claws tearing at her body in the process. He reached up to just below her collarbone and sliced at her chest, but Rin remained silent and she was beginning to gain more control over her facial reactions. The less emotion Rin showed the more anger Akki did.

"Scream, bitch!" He tore his claws across any part of her body not already covered in blood. Rin's breath quickened as she used all her will not to react, but she was almost at her breaking point. Never before had she experienced so much pain, even before she met Sesshoumaru. Akki saw the change in her face and reveled in it. He slid his claws down her sides and dug them into her hips. She cringed but still controlled her voice.

Suddenly, Akki began laughing. He laughed and laughed the sound was beginning to drive Rin mad. He ripped his claws down her legs still laughing. Finally, Rin couldn't stand his laugh anymore and she threw he arm up slapping him across the face. Silence immediately consumed the tent. All emotion left his face and an icy cold expression replaced them. "No one," he paused for a moment and let a low growl escape his throat, "no one has ever struck me and lived."

Rin smiled as best she could considering the pain. "You can't kill me. Your dear Niisan won't let you." A part of her knew she shouldn't mock him, but the rest of her knew it didn't matter, either way she would suffer.

Akki stood up and slowly began to remove his clothing. Rin backed away from him looking around the room trying to find some way of defending herself. The only things she found were bones so she took a rather large one and held it in front of her like a sword. When Akki had finished undressing he walked towards her, with each step he crushed bones like the one she was holding.

"I was going to wait, till I heard you scream, but you have forced this on yourself." He dropped to his knees, straddling her, and pushing the bone she held against her own body knocking the wind out of her. He rammed her head against the ground and pushed one knee between her legs. She shook beneath him and the smile reappeared. "Perhaps I can get you to scream in pleasure, if you won't scream in pain."

Rin pushed and fought against him but since he was a demon, and she only had one working arm, there was no way she could get out of his grasp. He ran fingers gently down her face and neck, across her shoulders and along her breasts. There his gentle touch turned painful as he thrust his claws into her and squeezed. Rin clenched her teeth stopping her scream, but closing her eyes did not stop the tears from coming. Then her eyes shot open when she felt him force himself into her.

_What has he done? What is this? It hurts. It hurts so much. Sesshoumaru-sama, please help me! I can't take anymore! It hurts! Please stop! It hurts!_

"Stop!" Rin screamed with all her strength. "No! Stop! Help!" She knew this is what he wanted. She knew it as he laughed and she continued to scream. She had to scream for this wasn't just physical pain she suffered from. Never before had she experienced this, and never had she thought it would be like this, pinned to the ground by a bloodthirsty demon. She screamed until her throat was raw and cried till her eyes were red, but Akki did not stop till Rin collapsed unable to shout or weep or think. Both her body and mind were beyond pain and understanding, they just existed in a surreal state.

Akki got up and dressed keeping an eye on Rin's broken body lying on the ground. When he was finished he grabbed her by the hair and dragged her out of the tent. Though she was still naked her blood covered her body and gave a slight illusion of clothing. Akki threw her up against the stake and pulled her arms back tying them tightly, but he received no reaction from her.

The bandits watched as Akki tied Rin up but few were able to look at Rin, most kept their eyes on Akki. The boss came out and approached Akki. He took a good look at the glazed expression on Rin's face before turning his attention to his brother.

"Otouto, I see you enjoyed yourself, though I was surprised you were so quiet with her."

Akki laughed. "Niisan, she refused to scream. I must say I've never met a woman who could hold out so long against me, but in the end they all break. You just have to find the right persuasion."

The boss turned away and headed back to his tent. "Otouto, do not toy with her anymore today. Remember, I want her alive when Sesshoumaru gets here."

"Niisan, I haven't finished playing yet, I still have mor…"

"I said, leave her be tonight," the boss interrupted with a cold tone.

"Yes, Niisan." The boss began walking but Akki spoke up again making him stop. "But I want to do one more thing."

"I said…"

Akki interrupted this time, "Cut her hair."

"Huh?"

"Her hair is still so pretty, it doesn't fit her new appearance. Let me do that, and I will entertain myself with another woman for the rest of the day." The brother nodded and left.

Akki took out a small dagger and pushed Rin's head forward like a doll's. One fistful at a time he mutilated her once beautiful long, black hair. Pieces laid about her head at all lengths, making her look far closer to death than she had before. Still, Rin did not move, nor speak, nor resist in anyway. Rin was just there.

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Rin stared at the ground unable to comprehend everything that had happened. She had expected abuse, she had been prepared for pain, but she had not even thought of him forcing himself on her. That was her mistake, she had been protected for so long she never even considered the idea that he would rape her, even though that was an obvious outcome. She should have prepared herself, but how do you prepare yourself for something you have never experienced.

As the evening turned to night, Rin slowly began to bring herself together. She looked around the camp still slightly in a daze. No one was looking at her, not even the man who had approached her when she was first brought. If someone did look they quickly averted their gaze, but Rin knew it wasn't fear of the demons that made them do so, she was simply too butchered to stand looking upon. Rin lowered her head and tried to relax her pained body with little success. Suddenly a woman and a bandit came rushing out of a tent both laughing and the bandit looked very drunk. The woman clumsily walked backwards and fell to the ground near Rin.

The bandit took hold of the woman's hand and tried to lift her up but the woman simply pulled away. "Please, I am exhausted. Let me rest a moment, you are simply too much for a woman to take." Rin could hear both her and the bandit laughing behind her.

"I'm going to get a drink then you better be ready," the bandit said stumbling off.

Rin felt herself getting nauseous. How could the woman do something like that and laugh?

"You do anything you can to survive in this place," the woman said as if knowing Rin's question. Rin slowly lifted her head. "Do not acknowledge my presence here."

"Water, you brought the water," Rin said recognizing the woman's voice.

"Listen to me, this camp, it is all about survival," The woman said, her voice deadly serious. "Haku-sama, the eldest demon, lives to challenge great demons to fight to the death. Akki-sama lives to please himself, but he must obey Haku-sama to survive. The bandits must obey the demons to survive, and the women must submit to everyone if they want to survive. Your death is certain when your Sesshoumaru-sama comes, but until then you must survive. We will give you your chance."

"Why?"

"I have survived here the longest, so I try my best to make sure all the women live. This will be your only chance."

Rin could barely believe what the woman had said. The drunken bandit stumbled back to the woman and lifted her up with surprising ease. "Let's go, I am far from done for the night." They both walked away laughing.

_Survive. A simple word, but in this place, it is beyond anything I can do._ _How do you survive in this place? How can a person be willing to do anything to survive? Why should I survive when all it means is pain and disgrace? What will Sesshoumaru-sama think when he smells that demon on me? How can I ever look at him again?_

Rin leaned her aching head against the stake and closed her eyes. A part of her never wanted Sesshoumaru-sama to come for her and when she realized that, the part that never wanted to leave him wept. Her tears stained the ground red with the blood they carried from her cheeks and sitting there, cold, weak, and scared Rin cried herself to sleep.

She awoke to a terrible sensation surrounding her legs. Her eyes widened in horror as she frantically kicked and dragged her legs across the ground trying to suppress the flames that were lapping at her skin. Akki picked up the torch she had kicked away and threw it back onto her bare skin. Rin scrambled and flung her body to rid her flesh of the scorching creature of flames crawling over her. She forced her legs to lift her from the ground. As she stood her arms scrapped against the wood tearing at what little skin was still in tact and twisting her broken arm in several directions at once.

Rin was in unbearable pain and all she could do was stand there, struggling for each breath. Akki once again picked up the torch but this time he walked up and held Rin against the stake. Slowly, he brought the flames to Rin's side causing the dried blood to smolder and her body to turn black. As hard as she tried to stop them, screams leapt from her mouth only to be caught by Akki's ears.

A perverse smile formed on his face and he leaned in close breathing in her scent. "The smell of fear and the sound of pain, nothing is more perfect together."

The agony swelled in her body as the flames danced into her wounds and up her side. All she could think was how she wanted to move away from the flames, away from the pain, but Akki's grip was firm and his body strong. Rin squirmed beneath him and Akki pushed her even harder against the stake, lifting her from the ground. Even though her mind yelled at her to just hold out and wait for him to move the torch her body moved on its own and thrust her knee as far up as she could.

Both torch and demon moved away from her, and Rin could sense everyone in the camp turning to watch them. Akki's eyes were filled with hatred, obviously he had never been struck twice by the same person. He rushed Rin, imbedding pieces of wood into her back, and lifted the entire stake from the ground, tossing it and Rin to the side. Once on the ground Rin struggled and slid the rope tying her arms together to the bottom of the stake and out, giving her a small amount of freedom. She struggled to stand and remain standing as Akki moved towards her. Blood rushed down her back and seeped into the ground below her.

For the first time since Rin was taken, Akki unsheathed his sword and held it before him. Rin felt her death approaching with each step he made, yet she wasn't afraid, not of death. A part of her knew that it didn't matter if he killer her for Sesshoumaru-sama could restore her, but another, the part that had caused her to kick Akki, wanted her death to come, so that the pain would stop.

Before Akki was in striking distance of Rin, the woman that had helped her came up behind Akki, sword in hand; because of the direction of the wind and his attention on Rin, Akki never sensed her approach. In one swift motion the woman thrust the sword into his back as far as she could, but with her level of strength it did not even pierce all the way through. Akki's face showed pain and he just stood there a moment, motionless from shock.

Akki may have been still but the rest of the camp went into a riot. The women took any weapon they could find and started to attack the bandits. Two women ran to Rin, cut her bindings, and half led, half dragged her into the woods. Just before Rin lost sight of the camp she saw Akki turning to the woman who had attacked him. The two women had got her far into the woods before Rin was able to fully comprehend everything that was happening, but she still did not understand why.

"Why…are you…doing this?" Rin asked, struggling to breathe with the running and her wounds.

"Because…" one woman said but Rin slipped and she stopped speaking to help her.

The second one continued for her, "Because unlike us you have something to return to."

"What do you mean?"

"All of us have lost everything he had to those bandits. We have no families, no homes, and have suffered more than any of us wants to remember," the first woman said.

"But you, you have someone to go to, right? Someone who is going to come for you. We are happy to die saving you. It gives us the freedom only death can bring, but it will not be in vain, not if we can save you."

"No, you don't understand! Sesshoumaru-sama…he can…I won't die!"

"If Haku doesn't kill you, Akki will. But, if you are away when your demon lord comes, then he will kill them as you say, and then you can return to him."

"But you don't have to die!"

"Without anything to return to we don't want to live."

Rin was silent for a moment, she couldn't understand how they could so easily die for her. She did not deserve it. If they had something to return to they would, yet a part of her had not wanted to return to Sesshoumaru-sama. She did not deserve to be saved over them.

Suddenly, the women stopped and for the first time Rin looked at where they had taken her. The river, bathed in a dim light, was before them, and surrounded by the dark forest it looked like a haven to Rin. Both women took strong grips on Rin's arms and shoulders.

"Try and remain beneath the water as long as you can, let the current take you down the river," the first woman said.

"What?"

"Akki and Haku track by scent, the water will wash it away if you can go far enough down. There is a village some ways away, but if you let the current take you far enough you might be able to make it to the outer hunting areas and find a villager to help you. Try to get as far as possible before leaving the river."

"What about you two? The other women?"

"We will stall Akki as much as we can." The first woman smiled.

"Even if it is only a few seconds it may give you the time you need."

"No, please, listen to me!" Rin's words barely escaped her mouth before the two women flung her into the river.

The current immediately stole Rin from the surface and it showed no resistance to the theft, only Rin struggled against its unbearable grasp. Beneath the surface Rin had no idea where she was going or how fast she was going there, all she wanted was another breath, which the water could not provide. She felt the river bottom at her side as she tumbled about and pushed against it hoping she was pushing herself up, and to her relief she found the surface. She tossed her head out of the water and drew in a more air than she thought her lungs could handle. The water crashed against her and forced her beneath it once again.

Over and over she and the river fought for control of her life, and for what felt like an eternity neither gave up. Then after a minute or an hour, Rin wasn't sure, she felt the earth beneath her body and her head above the water. She crawled up the bank and saw that the river had curved and thrust her upon the edge instead of pulling her around. She forced herself onto her feet and ran to whatever was in front of her, which happened to be the edge of the forest. Rin hoped that was far enough away from the camp.

As Rin ran, blood flowed from her wounds that the water had re-open and colored her pale body red. Her steps slowed the farther she went, as a mere human her wounds had to eventually bring her down. Quickly she began stumbling and soon tripped, crashing to the ground. The earth was soft and inviting beneath her. Her body wanted nothing more than to stop and rest, but Rin knew she had to get up again. She put as much strength as she could into her right arm and forced herself off the ground. Her legs wavered beneath her and she found she only had the power to stand as she was at that moment.

Suddenly, Rin heard the sound of footsteps in the woods, she tried to run but her legs wouldn't move at all. Akki stepped out of the woods. His clothes were covered in blood and Rin could see a large slash across his face, one that only Haku could have made.

"You are going to pay dearly for what you have done." Akki's voice was cold and harsh, not a single piece of amusement could be heard. He took out a small dagger and approached Rin. "They are all dead, you know. Niisan killed them all, the woman and the bandits, because you escaped." He pressed the blade to her cheek just hard enough to draw blood. "Bitch, you should not have run away…"

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And now, she was dying. Even though all those women gave their lives to save her, so many died to help her, and she was dying. Her eyes struggled to stay open, though she wasn't sure why. Perhaps it was simply because she had to see what had happened to everyone, to see what happened because of her. Soon a horrible odor traveled in the wind. Rin knew the smell, she had smelled it just a short while before. It was the scent of burning flesh.

She turned as best she could, as light filled the area, to see the camp. A huge fire was blazing in the center of the camp, the bodies of the humans acted as fuel. Rin stared into the flames as they danced about the flesh. For some reason her pain began to fade and then the light left her eyes and nothing mattered anymore.

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Review Please.


	2. Acceptance

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from InuYasha.

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Jaken buried his face into Sesshoumaru's fur stole. Watching the scenery pass them as he ran hurt Jaken's eyes, everything went by so fast. Jaken wasn't sure what had caused his lord's unusual behavior, but he supposed it had something to do with the smell of smoke in the air. Sesshoumaru and he had been some ways from where they were to meet with Rin and Ahun when they smelled the smoke in the wind, but that was far to the south from the meeting place. Never the less, Sesshoumaru began running after catching the scent, and Jaken had barely enough time to grab Sesshoumaru's fur before they were gone.

_Perhaps Sesshoumaru-sama is scared Rin was hurt._ Jaken laughed at himself. _Sesshoumaru-sama scared, like that would ever happen. No, Sesshoumaru-sama was not scared. Concerned…yes, concerned would be an adequate word. He must be concerned that something may have happened to Rin. That human girl can cause so much trouble for Sesshoumaru-sama. Who knows why he kept her all these years?_

Jaken nuzzled his face into the fur again but this time his nose caught a new scent in the wind, blood…and something else, death? The scent was fainter than the smoke, feeling old, but it definitely _was_ coming from the meeting place. Sesshoumaru's keener nose would have picked it up long before Jaken. Perhaps there _was_ reason to make haste.

Jaken looked up to Sesshoumaru's face, but it was as cold and expressionless as ever. What was going through his mind, was he scared? Could he be? Jaken shook his head and buried it into the fur again. No, of course not…but then he had not seen his lord run this fast since before Naraku was defeated. There had been no reason, so why did he now?

Jaken tried to clear his mind of the preposterous thoughts, but something was still nagging at him…why was the scent of blood coming from where Rin was supposed to be? She was surely all right, Ahun was with her and would protect her is something should have happened. Jaken scoffed at himself. _Rin will probably be there singing and dancing, holding flowers she will have picked for Sesshoumaru-sama. What a foolish human. With this speed we will arrive soon enough and will understand the strange smell. Maybe something did attack her and Ahun killed it. That would explain it. Of course, that is it. Who ever would dare attack a servant of Sesshoumaru-sama?_ Jaken felt assured with this thought and let himself wait for them to arrive without worries.

Suddenly, Sesshoumaru stopped. Jaken pulled his face from the fur and was overwhelmed by the scent of blood and death. He slowly let go of the fur and walked to Sesshoumaru's side gazing at the scene before him. Ahun's body lay split in half and both heads lay separated from his broken body. His blood soaked the ground a dull brown, meaning he had been left like this for some time, but if that was true where was Rin?

"Jaken," Sesshoumaru said in his cold voice.

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Bring his heads over."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama."

Jaken hurried to bring Ahun's lifeless heads to his body, which Sesshoumaru was pushing back together. When Ahun's remains were back in order Sesshoumaru removed Tenseiga from its sheath and Jaken could see it pulse in his hand. Sesshoumaru's move were fast and swift and as he replaced the sword to its sheath Ahun's body fused together again and life stirred in his veins. Ahun's heads jerked awake and he twisted and turned in frenzy.

Sesshoumaru placed a hand on one of Ahun's heads calming him. "She is not here." Both heads lowered, and Jaken could hear a small whimpering beneath their muzzles. Sesshoumaru mounted the beast. "Jaken, we're leaving."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama," Jaken said, quickly scurrying up Ahun's tail.

Sesshoumaru directed Ahun in the direction of the smoke that still permeated in the wind and they lifted of the ground flying at an unbelievable rate. Jaken figured that was more Ahun's doing than Sesshoumaru-sama. Though he was sure both wanted to find Rin, Ahun had become so very attached to her that he needed no incentive to hurry.

They quickly began seeing the dark black smoke that had filtered into the wind, it billowed up concealing its origin from them. Sesshoumaru instructed Ahun to lower to the ground, forcing them to enter the cloud of smoke. Jaken covered his nose but failed to keep the smell from his senses. Jaken wasn't sure he would be conscious if he remained in the smoke too long but luckily Ahun found ground and moved as far from the smell as he could in the confined area. Sesshoumaru and Jaken dismounted, looking around they found they were in a clearing in the middle of the forest, but from its appearance it seemed like a deserted camp. Where then did the fire come from?

"Hello, Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands," a voice from behind them spoke. All of them turned to see a young demon standing with a perverse smile on his face and a bladed staff in his hand. "I see you noticed my invitation, and you even revived that beast I killed." He looked at Ahun and tilted his head in a silent laugh. "I suppose she knew you would."

Sesshoumaru's brow narrowed, but he showed no other reaction. Jaken knew better than to trust his face, Sesshoumaru must have been seething inside. "Where is Rin?" Sesshoumaru's voice gave away even less than his face.

"Oh, the human? Strange one that woman, arrogant as they came. To think she talked to us as if we were the inferior beings. A human superior to a demon, not to mention a woman superior to a man, my brother had to teach the woman her place."

Jaken backed away as he heard a low growl escape from Sesshoumaru's throat. He must be madder than Jaken thought. "Where is Rin?"

A second demon appeared from the forest and joined the first. They appeared the same age, but being demons appearance meant nothing. He had a sword sheathed at his side and looked very similar to the first, except he had red eyes where the first had black. The new demon laughed heartily at Sesshoumaru, but neither answered the question.

Jaken had just about enough of the demon's disrespect. "How dare you speak to Sesshoumaru-sama in such a way! Answer him now, you low class demons!"

The red-eyed demon stopped laughing but kept an unnerving smile. "Can he not smell her? She is right in front of his face." He pointed to the fire next to them.

Jaken looked as hard as he could through the smoke but could not see anything. "What is this you speak of? Tell us now or…" Jaken stopped in mid-sentence as he saw a figure in the smoke, slowly swaying back and forth. "That cannot be! Rin could not survive that smoke!"

"You never asked if she was alive," the red-eyed demon said laughing once again.

Sesshoumaru brought out Tokijin and made a slow sweep causing the firewood to scatter and the fire to dissipate. Jaken stared at shock as he noticed the firewood was not wood but human bodies. Slowly the smoke traveled into the wind and away from the figure it once concealed. Jaken could hear Ahun howl in its muzzles as they received the first clear view of the body hanging before them.

It was Rin, why else would they make it such a spectacle, but to be honest, Jaken couldn't tell by her appearance. Her face was cut and beaten, one eye swollen shut the other closed looking peaceful, the only part of her body like that. She was completely naked though it was hard to tell, her entire body was covered in soot and blood. She hung by her hands, one of which appeared ready to rip from her shoulder. Cuts, bruises, and claw marks littered her once fair skin and a large wound ripped open her stomach. On her side and legs black burns scarred her innocent flesh. There wasn't a part of her that Jaken could see that hadn't been marred in some way save for that one eye, closed so peacefully on her face.

Sesshoumaru said nothing but moved to her hanging corpse and with a flick of his fingers Rin's body fell into his waiting arm. He laid her on the ground untying her wrists and bringing her arms to her sides. Her left arm did not want to lie properly and Sesshoumaru had to force it down.

Jaken hesitantly approached her lifeless body and found something even more disgusting than her appearance, her scent. To be more precise, the scent that was on her, no, not just on, in her. The scent covered her completely almost masking her own scent. Jaken recognized the scent as the second demon, and if Jaken could recognize it, Sesshoumaru must know what it is, and what it means.

Sesshoumaru stood and unsheathed Tenseiga, once again Jaken could see it pulsing in his hand. The black-eyed demon watched them intently. "Is that how you brought the beast back to life?" Sesshoumaru did not even acknowledge the question, he merely swung at the messengers of the otherworld, though only he could see them.

Rin's body seemed to pulse as her flesh pulled together healing the cuts and wounds that mutilated her body. The swelling disappeared and the bruises faded and then Rin took air to her lungs again.

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Rin could feel warmth in her body and strength in her limbs. _A dream. It must have been a dream. Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama would never let harm come to me as long as he is near. He is near too, such a wonderful smell. I don't need his sense of smell to know his scent. So strong, so overpowering. Yes, it must have been a dream._

Slowly, Rin opened her eyes to find Sesshoumaru staring down at her. She smiled up at him. She was right, he was there. Suddenly he began removing his haori and laid it over her body. Rin did not look down at herself, she couldn't…she just couldn't look at herself. _A dream! It has to be a dream!_ She shook her head, her smile faded, and her body began trembling. Then she heard a sound that made every nerve in her body freeze, Akki's laughter.

"Did you miss me, Rin? Once Niisan takes care of Sesshoumaru we can play some more." Rin involuntarily grasp Sesshoumaru's arm and dug her nails into it causing him to stare at her. Her eyes were wide with fear and she was sure Akki could smell it. "What, all that time you told us Sesshoumaru was going to kill us, but now that he is here you tremble. Have you realized he isn't strong enough?"

Rin's breath quickened and her nails pierced Sesshoumaru's demon skin. _Why? Why am I so scared now? Why am I terrified when Sesshoumaru-sama is right here? Why do I shake when I know Sesshoumaru-sama will protect me?_

Sesshoumaru reached down and carefully picked Rin up carrying her to Ahun. She released his arm only when Ahun reached over to nuzzle her, letting her take a strong grip on his black mane. "Jaken," Sesshoumaru said as he turned back to the two demons, both still smiling. "Take Rin away from here. I will be there shortly."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama." Jaken hurried and took hold of Ahun's reigns. "Let's go."

Rin sat trembling on Ahun's back still staring at Sesshoumaru. Her eyes would not leave him, if they did they would have to look somewhere else, like Akki, or her dirty body beneath Sesshoumaru's beautiful white haori. Even when she could no longer make out the figures on the ground Rin continued to stare. Suddenly a cyclone of wind appeared and just as quickly disappeared only to be replaced by a bright light.

"What…What's happening!" Rin screamed as she watched the light expand and seemingly take shape.

Jaken gave a slight laugh, apparently trying to quell her fear. "Don't worry, that is Sesshoumaru-sama. I am actually surprised to see that he has decided to change form, but then again he seemed very furious at them."

"What do you mean, change form?"

"Did you think that human-ish form is the true Sesshoumaru-sama. Don't be silly, Sesshoumaru-sama is a great dog demon, so of course his true fo…"

Rin didn't need to listen to the rest of what Jaken said, what she saw explained it all. The most gorgeous of creature appeared in the clearing, no, it seemed too grand for the clearing and appeared too perfect to be real. A giant white dog, Rin's eyes would not leave it. _Sesshoumaru-sama, that is your true form. It is truly as beautiful and amazing as your other form, only even more so, though I don't how that is possible._

Jaken seemed to have realized she had not listened to him and was now also staring at Sesshoumaru. "You have never seen him in this form, he takes it very rarely. This battle will end quickly, let us be off, Sesshoumaru-sama will not like it if we have dawdled here."

"He is missing a leg," Rin said as she looked more closely at the beautiful creature quickly diminishing from her sight.

"Of course he is. He does not have his left arm because that half-breed brother of his, InuYasha, severed it from him when he was in that form. It makes him no less a danger to his enemy."

"He is still perfect." She pulled his haori tightly around her and breathed in his scent. _Perfect._ As she looked down at the haori she couldn't help but see her legs, which were still covered in soot and blood. The sight made her ill as she remembered what caused the blood to stain her body. She gripped Ahun's mane so tightly he whined and Jaken took notice of her.

"Rin, are you well?"

"Ground," Rin said holding the sickness in, "I need on the ground."

Jaken hurried to fulfill her request and before Ahun even landed Rin slid off and began heaving upon the ground. There was nothing in her for her body to release so she knelt there, her stomach convulsing and her insides hammering against her skin, begging for escape. Jaken cautiously approached her shaking form, but Rin paid no attention to him. All she wanted was for the memories to leave her, as if she stayed there long enough her body would let her force them from her mouth and she could leave them on the ground.

Slowly, her convulsing stopped and she rested there on the cool ground trying to stop her trembling. Ahun and Jaken stood nearby but neither made a move towards her. Rin breathed in and out as deeply as she could, she knew she must have been a sight but she couldn't stop her body's reactions. A light shown over them then stopped behind her. She didn't turn to it, but her body began shaking even fiercer and she no longer controlled her breathing. Footsteps approached and Rin could see both Jaken and Ahun move away. Even though she knew neither would do so for anyone but Sesshoumaru she was still afraid.

"Rin," Sesshoumaru's voice was calm and surprisingly soothing. "Let us go."

Rin forced herself to sit up but she could not look at Sesshoumaru. "Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama." She took a few deep breaths and brought herself to stand, Sesshoumaru did not move away. Rin could feel his eyes on her and it only made her stare even more intently on the ground.

Ahun approached them and Sesshoumaru helped Rin mount before getting on behind her, Jaken taking a seat behind him. Sesshoumaru took hold of the reigns and Ahun left the ground heading to the north. Rin's body still shook but as she felt the soft fur of his stole she began to calm. She laid her head against the fur remembering the sight of him in his true form, the beauty and majesty of it. Sitting there thinking of him Rin fell asleep.

Her mind watched his true form in her dreams and the more she stared the less she saw till all there was white. It consumed her, suffocating her. No, not white, red, blood red. It covered her, stained her. The blood stained her body. She couldn't breathe. She was suffocating. _He_ was suffocating her. His red eyes staring at her. His cruel laughter filling her ears. His hand covering her mouth. She couldn't breathe!

Rin kicked and struggled against him. She lashed at anything. She needed air. She bit his hand and felt him release her. She screamed and struggled against him.

"Rin."

_No! Don't call me!_

"Rin."

_Shut up! Don't say my name!_

"Rin! Stop it!"

_Only Sesshoumaru-sama can order me! Shut up!_

"Rin! Wake up!" Sesshoumaru's voice was strong and harsh.

Rin's eyes shot open. She had fallen off the side of Ahun and the only thing holding her was Sesshoumaru who pressed her tightly against Ahun to keep her from falling. She stopped struggling and Sesshoumaru pulled her back up and held her securely against him. Rin lowered her head and felt her face flush. She had no idea if she had screamed that out loud or if she had simply acted from the nightmare, either way she was completely embarrassed.

"Forgive me, Sesshoumaru-sama."

He did not speak but neither did her release her. She looked around and found she didn't recognize this land. She brought up what little courage she had left in her to look at Sesshoumaru.

"May I ask, Sesshoumaru-sama, where we are headed?"

He looked down at her for a moment then back to skies ahead of them. "To a bath house."

Rin was shocked at first, but when she looked down at her hands and legs she knew she needed to bathe. It was just that he had never taken her to a bath house before, usually she just bathed in a hot spring or lake.

"When will we arrive there, Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"Just a little further."

Rin nodded and laid her head against his fur again. She thought back to her time captured, trying to think more clearly, more rationally, less emotional. As she recalled the things Akki said something began nagging at her.

"_I have been trying to think of the perfect way to start our time together, and I finally decided."_

Rin brought her broken courage up one more time. "Sesshoumaru-sama," she stopped unsure of what she even wanted to know. When she did not continue Sesshoumaru looked down to her, waiting. "Does it mean something if…" she stopped again, for some reason becoming very nervous about asking.

"If what?"

"If…if a demon bites someone…on the neck?" Rin felt Sesshoumaru's grip around her waist tighten. It did mean something.

"Did one of them bite you on the neck?" She didn't answer him. "Rin?"

She nodded. "What…what does it mean?" This time he did not answer but instead looked ahead, though there was nothing there to be seen. "Sesshoumaru-sama?" If he did not want to answer she wasn't sure she wished to know, but at the same time she had to know what Akki had done to her.

"It is to claim a mate." Rin began shaking again, she had not expected that. "Demons claim mates by marking them on the neck, by biting them. Most likely he thought it would be a fitting insult to claim you as his."

Rin wasn't sure what her body was doing, it had gone numb. Her mind wasn't sure how to understand his words. _He hurt me. He destroyed my honor. He defiled my scent. And now…now…he claimed me. He took me from Sesshoumaru-sama. How can I look at Sesshoumaru-sama? How can he stand me so close to him, with that creature's scent on me? Why did he bring me back? Why did this happen to me? How can I live knowing that bastard took me from Sesshoumaru-sama?_

Rin felt herself becoming sick again but held it in. She did not want to do anything more to burden Sesshoumaru. She did not want him to leave her, though she felt she didn't deserve to be with him. She remained silent for the rest of trip and often tried to leave Sesshoumaru's grip for she didn't want to soil him with her presence (it was bad enough she was soiling his hoari), but he keep a tight hold around her waist.

The sun began to rise to their side and for the first time Rin realized she had no idea what day it was, she hadn't even realized it was night. In the distance Rin could see a village and even further from that was a grand castle. With a gentle pull on the reigns Ahun began to descend towards the village. Rin pulled her chin as tightly against her chest as it would go and lifted the haori to cover as much of her face as she couldn't without completely hiding, she did not want people to see her like this.

Ahun landed at the edge of the village and Sesshoumaru directed him to enter, which shocked Rin since if Sesshoumaru _ever_ entered a village he usually left Ahun behind. If Sesshoumaru's action shocked her then the village left her completely in awe. It was inhabited by demons. Rin's shame and fear gave way to curiosity and she lifted her head to look at the people. There were a few humans, though they appeared to be servants to the demons and every once in a while a demon would stop in the middle of the road and bow to them. Of course, they must have been bowing to Sesshoumaru, but Rin had never seen anyone really act that way except her or Jaken. Then again Sesshoumaru didn't keep company with anyone else, at least not around her, so maybe this was…normal.

Sesshoumaru stopped Ahun in front of a large three-story house and Rin could see the steam and feel the warmth of the hot water from her place on the road. It was a very soothing feeling. Sesshoumaru dismounted as a demon woman came out of the bath house. She was very frail in appearance but Rin felt the woman could probably kill her in an instant if she so desired. Her long light blue hair fell around her body as she bowed. "Sesshoumaru-sama, it is always a honor when you come. How can we be of service to you?"

Sesshoumaru motioned for Rin to come to him and she quickly complied pulling the haori tighter now that she was no longer shielded from the people by his body. "Tend to her, and get her new clothing."

The woman looked up and Rin and her eyes went wide in shock. Rin wasn't sure if it was because of her appearance, her human scent, or the scent of the demon on her that caused the reaction, but since she only had control over one she curled into the haori even more. At Rin's show of modesty and shame the woman's expression quickly changed from shock to concern. She rushed over and took Rin by the shoulders and lead her into the house. "Oh my, you are quite a sight. Well, clean the body and cleanse the soul, I always say. Let us find you some proper clothing and get that blood off you. My name is Saka. What's yours?"

Saka's grip on Rin's body was forceful yet gentle, almost motherly, and Rin slowly began to relax. "R…Rin."

Saka smiled again, this time showing several sets of fangs, though they didn't scare Rin. "It is a pleasure to meet you Rin. I must say I was surprised to find you were human. I did not expect that of Sesshoumaru-sama. How long have you been with him?"

They entered a small changing room and Rin was given a white robe, which she quickly changed into. "Around 11 years now." Rin smiled as she remembered her first meeting with Sesshoumaru. "I was an orphan and he took me in."

Saka's surprise returned. "11 years? I suppose Sesshoumaru-sama has changed a bit, he never could stand humans before." She quickly turned to Rin. "No disrespect to you, of course."

Rin suppressed her laughter but not her smile; it felt good to smile. "It's ok. Jaken-sama often says he can't figure out why Sesshoumaru-sama keeps me around. He tells me I'm useless and childish, and that I need to grow up."

"Oh, that's awful of him. If Sesshoumaru-sama has chosen to keep you around then it is not for Jaken to say anything."

"Don't worry, if he says anything really mean Sesshoumaru-sama will glare at him or worse. One time, I don't even remember what I had done to get him so riled up, but he told me to go away cause my scent was disgusting hi…" Rin's voice trailed off and her smile faded. _My scent, yes it is disgusting now._

"Are you ok, Rin?" Saka asked coming over and placing her firm but gentle hands on her shoulders.

Rin was silent, trying with all her might to stifle her tears, and to Rin's comfort, she succeeded. She nodded to Saka who decided to drop the subject and lead Rin to one of the rooms across the hall. As the door slide open Rin felt warm steam meet her skin and relax her muscles. Saka led her to a large bath and had to hold her arms in order to keep her balance while climbing in. The hot water enveloped her body giving her a sensation of pure bliss as she lay there motionless. Rin didn't even realize Saka was still in the room until she started to gently scrub Rin's legs free of dirt and blood. Rin didn't object, she didn't even feel embarrassed or modest, after all she had been through, this felt like heaven.

After Saka had finished cleaning one leg and was moving to another a question popped into Rin's mind. "Saka-sama, how do you know so much about Sesshoumaru-sama? What kind of village is this? Why does everyone show so much respect to him," Rin paused then realized what she had said, "I mean, I never saw a town actually show Sesshoumaru-sama the respect he deserves."

Saka looked up from her work and lifted a single eyebrow in a confused way. "You mean you have been with Sesshoumaru-sama for 11 years and you have no idea where you are right now?"

Rin lowered her head to hide the blush in her cheeks. "I suppose Sesshoumaru-sama may have said it and I just forgotten, I am only human. Perhaps I should try…"

Saka held up her right hand and patted Rin's leg reassuringly with her left hand. "Forgive me, I sometimes forgot how different Sesshoumaru-sama is from InuTaisho-sama."

"InuTaisho…sama?"

Saka nodded and returned to washing Rin's leg. "InuTaisho-sama was Sesshoumaru-sama's father. He was of the greatest and most noble of demons, as is his son. Sesshoumaru-sama looks so very much like him at times I place his father's ways onto him. InuTaisho-sama would have brought a companion to this place within 11 years, but I suppose if Sesshoumaru-sama himself never returned why bring someone else here."

Rin hoped she didn't look as confused as she felt. "I don't quite understand."

"Did you see the castle to the north of the village?" Rin nodded. "That belongs to Sesshoumaru-sama."

"What!" Rin cried out, yanking her leg from Saka's grasp and thrusting herself so her face was near Saka's. "But, Sesshoumaru-sama has never said anything about a castle…especially one so grand!"

Saka couldn't contain her laughter so she let it out full force. After a moment she composed herself and gently pushed Rin back against the bath. "To be more precise, it is the castle that belongs to the Lord of the Western Lands, who is, last I heard, Sesshoumaru-sama. It had belonged to his father before him and he had lived there as a child, but soon he left and seemed to prefer wandering to the castle. After InuTaisho-sama's death Sesshoumaru-sama came back less and less, nothing left tying him to it, I suppose." Finishing her legs, Saka moved to wash Rin's arms and torso. "He hasn't returned in several decades, so it is understandable that you had never known of it. Those of us in this village are completely loyal to the Lord of the Western Lands and so centuries ago we built this village should our Lord ever need us."

Rin closed her eyes and felt the water move over her skin as Saka washed her. _After all this time I still know very little about Sesshoumaru-sama, but then I am only a human._ Saka's cloth brushed her lower abdomen and hips. _Just a dirty human._

"May I ask you a question, Rin?"

Saka's voice snapped Rin from her thoughts. "Y..yes, of course."

"Are you mad at him?"

Rin stared at her very confused. "At who?"

"Sesshoumaru-sama."

"How could I be mad at Sesshoumaru-sama? Why would I be mad?"

"For whatever happened to make you covered in blood and reeking of demon heat."

Rin's hands began to shake and not even Saka's firm hold could stop them. "I could never hold anger against Sesshoumaru-sama, without him I would not be alive." Rin turned her face away from Saka and forced back her tears. "I blame none but the ones who did this, and Sesshoumaru-sama has punished them for their actions."

"Thank goodness."

Rin looked at Saka with unsure eyes. "Why do you say that?"

"You were very frightened when you got here, and I was worried you might blame Sesshoumaru-sama. That would be very sad indeed, for he seems much…gentler than the last time I saw him. I can only guess you are the reason."

Rin closed her eyes to try and digest what Saka had just said. _Gentler…gentle at all seemed unnatural for Sesshoumaru-sama, but he was gentle when he held me on Ahun._ Rin shook her head. _Even if that is true, it can't be because of me, I'm just a human. Sesshoumaru-sama dislikes humans, even I know that. And now, I'm even less than human, I'm nothing more than…than…a demon's whore._

Rin slowly slid her body into the water until her face was beneath the water. She didn't care that Saka was still washing her, she just had to stop the stinging in her eyes. When she finally re-emerged water trailed down her face but she was sure by her reaction Saka could smell the salt in her tears.

Saka didn't say anything, but she moved up to Rin's face and wiped away the dirt and tears. When her face was cleaned off Saka pushed Rin forward and began washing her hair. Every once in a while Rin felt Saka's claws cutting chunks of misshapen hair and tossing them to the side. Soon after warm water started running through Rin's now short hair and down the back of her head. Saka carefully pulled Rin's hair back so the water fell over more of her face.

As the water splashed over her cheeks and mouth Rin body suddenly tensed and her eyes shot open. Without thinking she opened her mouth to scream and water poured in choking her as fear coursed through her body. Her ears filled with Akki's cruel laughter and Rin yanked her head out of his grasp and struggled to get away from him but he pulled her back and held her tightly on the shoulders. She flung her arms behind her trying to get him to let go but Haku appeared and grabbed her hands in one of his own.

Rin screamed as she looked into his black eyes. They seemed to be reflecting the moonlight for she could see a small glimmer of gold in them. No, not a glimmer, the color filled his eyes…not black, but gold, a beautiful gold. Rin stopped screaming and her breath locked in chest.

_No, no, I couldn't have mistaken Sesshoumaru-sama for one of them. I couldn't have screamed at him! I can't be afraid of him! I can't be afraid of him!_

Sesshoumaru let go of her hands, and after giving a nod to Saka he left the room. Rin closed her eyes and shook her head furiously.

_I can't be afraid of him! I don't want to be left behind! I don't want him to leave me alone! I can't be alone again!_

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Ok, so, there ya go, for anyone who was annoyed I didn't give nice fun gory details of the demise of Akki and Haku, I miss it to, but think of it this way, you can make it up yourself. I see Sessy's white paw coming down on top of Akki and hearing a thick SPLAT as he gets squished like a cockroach. MWA HA HA No for real, it has to be through Rin so she doesn't get to see and neither do we.

Next chp we have some major psychological problems for Rin. How will she deal with her feelings of shame and fear? Will Sessy be able to help her or will he send her away? I wonder….. --


	3. Nightmares

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from InuYasha.

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Rin sat in the corner of the small room she had been given for the night. She wrapped her arms around her knees and slowly rocked her body to try and calm her racing heart. _How could I have screamed at him? Why did I see one of them when he was trying to calm me? Is he mad that I yelled? Will he leave me here? Will he just toss me away? I don't want to be alone again. Death would be better than having to feel loneliness again._

A soft knock was heard and Rin wiped at her cheeks though there were no tears. Slowly, she stood up and walked to the door, taking a deep before pulling the screen open. Saka stood in front of her, her blue hair floating about her like water. A small, worried smile crossed her lips as Rin stepped back to let her in.

"How are you doing, Rin? Are you feeling well enough to eat? I can have something brought to you, if you are." Rin shook her head and returned to her place in the corner. Saka knelt down before her and gently lifted Rin's chin so their eyes met. "You really must eat something. When was the last time you had a decent meal?"

Rin thought back to the fish that she had caught right before she was kidnapped. The memory made her disgusted and any appetite she might have been contemplating left her immediately. She shook her head again pulling her gaze back to her knees.

When Saka realized she wasn't going to get anywhere with Rin she patted her legs and stood up. "Get some rest. If you want something to eat later on just come find me."

Saka was at the door when Rin finally spoke. "Is he mad at me…for screaming at him?" Her voice was fragile and weak and had Saka not been a demon she never would have heard Rin at all.

"Sesshoumaru-sama is concerned about you."

Rin nodded.

"I will leave some tea outside your room. It will help you sleep, please drink it."

Rin nodded and Saka left to get the tea. Rin tightened her grip around her legs and rested her forehead on her knees.

_He is mad at me. Even if he is concerned about me, he is mad too. Otherwise why didn't she say he wasn't mad at me? Why hasn't he come to check on me? Maybe, maybe my scent is still putrid to his nose. Will it be ruined the rest of my life? Will he never be able to stand being near me again? I will…I will be alone. He will leave me in some village._ Rin's eyes widened in horror. _That must be why he brought me here, to leave me. Since all the people here are loyal to him they would take care of me if he told them to._

Rin tried to cry, but when no tears fell her body wept. She felt her weight dragging her to the floor where she shook uncontrollably. Air was scarce in her lungs but somehow it comforted Rin, pain was real, she could be sure of that. At that moment her life felt like a horrible nightmare that no matter what she did she couldn't wake up from, but the pain, pain she knew and understood. Pain meant release, as if all the hurt she felt in her heart could be purged from her body through blood and suffering.

Rin took her elbows in her palms and pulled them till the muscles screamed. She wanted to rip at her skin and claw at her body but in a village of demons she knew the smell of blood would not go unnoticed, and right now she just wanted to feel the pain of reality, without anyone stopping her.

Rin awoke to the morning sun blazing through the window of her room. She was starting to get annoyed with her lost sense of time, she had no idea how long she had been asleep or if it had even been night when she had laid there on the floor. Rin got up and looked out the window. When she had gone to bed Ahun had been tied up beneath her room, and she thought seeing him would be a nice treat. Her eyes passed over the busy street below the bath house but did not see Ahun anywhere.

Rin's fear sent her into a panic and she ran out into the hall only to trample one of the house servants. "Sesshoumaru-sama…where is Sesshoumaru-sama?"

The servant woman eyed her hesitantly. "Sesshoumaru-sama left before sunrise." The woman took Rin by the arm and led her back in her room. "Please stay in here and I will get Saka-sama." The woman closed the screen behind her and started to pick up some towels she had dropped. Rin had not moved away from the door as the woman thought she had and listened as the woman whispered to herself, "No wonder Sesshoumaru-sama left, that woman is insane. I can't believe he kept her in his company. Humans should be left to humans."

Without even thinking Rin walked over to the mirror on the wall of her room. It was the first time she had actually looked at herself. Her once long, black tresses were gone and replaced with hair so short it spiked slightly. She slowly drew her robe from her shoulders and gazed at the place where Akki had bit her. There were no marks left on her body but Rin could feel a pulsing at the spot. She tentatively touched the mark that only she could see on her skin.

_He really did it. He took me from Sesshoumaru-sama. He ruined my life. He won._

Rin couldn't stand the pulsing she felt in her shoulder. It was laughing. It was Akki's horrifying laughter telling her he had won. Rin ran her nails over her shoulder and up her neck holding her hand just below the ear. The pulsing increased until it filled her entire body. In one fierce move Rin ripped her nails down her neck not caring if anyone smelled the blood. She moved her abuse to her left arm and chest before Saka barged in and restrained her.

"Rin! Stop this!" Saka moved Rin over to her futon and held her until she stopped struggling. Saka held Rin's arms firmly above her head. "Rin, what has gotten into you?"

Rin's breathing was erratic and her eyes seemed slightly glazed as if in a trance. Blood slid down her smooth skin and pooled beneath her shoulder. "I couldn't stand the laughing…he wouldn't stop laughing. I had to stop the laughing!"

"Who? Who was laughing?"

Rin looked up at Saka, for the first time actually realizing she was there. "Akki. He laughs cause he won."

"Won what? Was he one of the demons that hurt you?"

"Sesshoumaru-sama has left me, so Akki won." Rin's voice was flat and emotionless, the voice of one who has given up on everything.

Rin no longer struggled under Saka's grip so she released her hold on Rin. Slowly, Saka pulled Rin up and held her against her chest. Saka stroked her hair as she gently rocked her back and forth. "Child, Sesshoumaru-sama has not left you here."

"But Ahun is gone. The woman said he had left."

"He has not left you, he…" Saka didn't have a chance to finish before Rin pushed her away violently.

"Then where is he! He knows the scent of my blood!" Rin's voice filled the small room, it was loud and fierce but consumed by fear and pain. "If he didn't leave me why hasn't he come!" Rin collapsed to the ground and tore at the floor causing her fingernails to break and blood build beneath them. "Where is he?"

Rin wanted to throw Saka away from her as she was pulled from the floor and back to the futon, but Saka was stronger than she was. Saka waited till she calmed again before speaking. "Sesshoumaru-sama _is_ gone, but he has not left you. He went to the castle but will return shortly after nightfall. He has not left you."

"He…he hasn't?" Rin could barely get the words out.

"No, he will return tonight."

"Tonight…"

"Yes, tonight."

Rin tried her best to assimilate what Saka was telling her. So many emotions raged in her body that she just wanted to tear at her skin and release them. _He didn't leave me. He will come back tonight. He will come back for me... he will smell the blood. He will know my weakness. How can he come back for such a weak creature? Why does he not leave me?_

"I'm so confused." Rin held tightly to Saka kimono and cried tearless sobs.

Saka held the shaking woman against her. "It will get easier. In time, you will understand more."

"How!" Rin screamed into the kimono.

"Humans are not as weak as demons make them out to be. They can survive through unbelievable conditions and still come back."

Rin lifted her head and stared at Saka as if she had never seen her before. _Humans can survive. All the women survived for so long only to die because of me. Why was I so special? Why couldn't they survive instead of me?_ When Rin realized the answer to her question she laid her head against Saka again. _Because Sesshoumaru-sama wouldn't leave me behind._

Rin felt Saka look down at her. "Rin, are you ok now?" She nodded not bothering to even lift her head. She was so very tired now. "We need to get you cleaned up before Sesshoumaru-sama returns. Will you let me do that?" She nodded again.

Saka called for the house servants to bring bandages and water and Rin didn't resist when Saka helped her to a kneeling position. Her upper body throbbed and stung as the blood was washed from the wounds, but it was real pain and not the throbbing her mind had created earlier. The bandages were wrapped tightly to her skin and though it hurt terribly Rin didn't flinch once. Her body cried out for rest, and even before Saka finished bandaging her body Rin fell asleep.

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Rin's chin lay against her chest as Saka wrapped the last of the bandages around her arm. She gently rested Rin's body atop the futon and stared at her a moment. What in the world could cause a person to become so very terrified? Sesshoumaru had only informed Saka that Rin had been taken and killed by two demons, either he didn't know or wouldn't tell her what happened between those events. By Rin's reactions Saka knew it must have been beyond words.

Saka set the remaining bandages next to the basin of now bloody water before getting up and opening the window. The smell of blood filled the room, and normally Saka would wait till the street was emptier before airing it out, but she knew the scent would travel up to the castle. Sesshoumaru's keen nose would quickly catch the scent, and if Rin was right, he would be back very shortly. Saka watched as the villagers began turning, one by one, towards the bath house. She didn't care. She needed to speak with Sesshoumaru.

An hour after Rin had fallen asleep she awoke screaming. Saka quickly joined her at the futon and calmed the scared girl. Once reassured Rin fell back to sleep, both her body and mind still exhausted. Not long after, Saka heard the sound of Ahun in the street and the bath house doors opening. Saka hurried to meet Sesshoumaru in the hall, not wanting to wake Rin.

She had barely closed the door before Sesshoumaru towered over her waiting to enter the room. "Sesshoumaru-sama, please come with me. I will explain everything, but Rin is sleeping now and I do not wish to wake her." Sesshoumaru looked at the door one more time before nodding and following Saka through the bath house to a small office. She offered a chair to him but he stayed next to the closed door and waited for her to begin explaining.

Saka took a seat and closed her eyes for a moment. Taking care of Rin was beginning to wear her down. "When you brought Rin here you told me to tend to her and I do not believe I would be fulfilling your request if I did not openly speak with you." When Sesshoumaru did not respond Saka continued. "The blood you smell is from wounds that Rin herself inflicted." Saka thought she saw shock cross Sesshoumaru's normally expressionless face, but it was so fleeting she couldn't be sure.

"Forgive me, Sesshoumaru-sama, if I speak out of place, but I fear for the girl. Her mind is confused and unsure. She awoke today to find Ahun gone and the first person she asked told her you had left. When Rin heard this her fears told her that you had left her here and were not going to return, and when she convinced herself of this…" Saka paused trying to think of the best way to say what she needed to. "She told me that he was laughing at her and she had to stop the laughter. That was how she described what had happened. For whatever reasons, Rin tore at her neck, arms, and chest."

Saka received nothing more than a raised eyebrow in response. "Sesshoumaru-sama, I wholly believe that if you leave Rin while her mind is in this state she will kill herself."

At this Sesshoumaru turned around and opened the door. "That will not happen."

Saka stood up to join him. "It is going to take a lot of time for her to heal. Your sword can heal the body, but wounds of the mind run far deeper. If she is left alone too soon, even a moment too soon, all her terrors will reappear."

Sesshoumaru walked out and headed up to Rin's room. Saka suppressed a smile; as much as he tried to hide it she knew Sesshoumaru cared for Rin. They entered Rin's room to find her still asleep on the futon, her white bandages tinged pink from her blood. Sesshoumaru unsheathed Tenseiga and slid the blade easily through her body. Saka was barely over her awe of the event when Sesshoumaru moved and picked Rin up.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"I will expect you at the castle by nightfall."

"Of course, Sesshoumaru-sama. I shall leave once I have made arrangements here. How long should I expect to be gone?"

Sesshoumaru walked past her without answering and headed out of the house. Saka watched from the window as Sesshoumaru mounted Ahun, Rin tightly held against him, and headed for the castle. Saka smiled a warm, sad smile. _Sesshoumaru-sama, you are more like your father than you know, and perhaps, that just may save Rin._

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_The sun, it's so hot. Morning shouldn't be this hot. It is morning, isn't it? Did I sleep through morning and mid-day is here, but this is hot even for mid-day._ Rin took a deep breath and curled up into the warm fur against her. _Sesshoumaru-sama? Is he carrying me? But I was at the bath house...and Saka said he would not be back till night. Did I dream that? My arm doesn't hurt, so did I dream all that this morning? I wish I knew what was going on._

Slowly, Rin opened her eyes and stared into the white fur she had buried her face in. She turned, the light blinding her eyes. _It is mid-day, and it is so warm because we are in the sky. When is this? What has happened and what is a dream?_

"Rin."

She looked up to Sesshoumaru. "Where are we going, Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"To the castle. We will stay there for a while." He glanced at Rin. "Go back to sleep."

Rin nodded and closed her eyes. The sun was too bright for her. Too hot. Rin shifted uncomfortably, the sun was so very hot. She twisted and turned trying to move away from it, but it wouldn't leave her alone. It was burning her. Burning her skin. Burning her flesh. The fire was burning her. It wouldn't go away. She couldn't get away. He wouldn't let her go. He held the fire to her flesh and waited for her to scream. If she screamed maybe he would let her go. She needed the fire to leave her.

"Stop! Please! Stop!" Rin flew from the bed onto the floor and scrambled to free herself of the silk cloth she had tangled herself in.

"Rin! Rin! Are you ok?" She looked up to see a small green toad demon staring at her.

"Jaken-sama?"

"Rin, are you alright?"

She looked around the small room she was in. It was simple, having only a bed, wardrobe, and chair. Jaken hurried to help her free of the cloth that Rin figured to be a cover from the bed. "Is this…the castle?"

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama brought you here a few hours ago."

"I remember…I think."

Once she was free, Jaken walked to the wardrobe and open it showing a number of silk kimonos. He grabbed one and brought it to Rin. "Sesshoumaru-sama wants you to get up and moving. He told me to feed you as soon as you woke up. You must be very hungry."

Rin shook her head. "Not really. I'm tired, so very tired."

"Food will give you your strength back. Come now, get dressed and we'll go get something to eat."

She nodded and removed her robe not caring that Jaken was still there, though he turned around quickly. She took a moment to breathe, even that little bit was extensively tiring. She reached out to pick up the kimono when she saw the bandages on her arm. "It wasn't a dream?"

"What was that Rin?"

She ignored Jaken's question and concentrated on removing the bandages. As hard as she tried Rin's tired hands couldn't seem to grasp the cloth properly. Suddenly she felt a claw run down her back and the bandages around her chest loosen.

"Rin, hold your arm out." She did as she was told and in the corner of her eye she could see Jaken's claw tearing the bandages free from her arm.

"Thank you, Jaken-sama." Rin put on her kimono and stood up only to get dizzy and collapse onto the floor.

"Rin!"

"Can't I just go back to sleep?" she asked, closing her eyes and trying to catch her breath.

"Rin, I am sure eating would help you feel better." Jaken ran over to the chair, which Rin now noticed the Staff of Heads was leaning against. He brought it back to Rin and held it firmly in front of him. "Here, hold onto this for balance."

Rin took hold of the staff and pushed herself up, Jaken moving and supporting her weight when necessary. Slowly and carefully they made their way out of her room, down a short corridor and a small flight of steps (which for Rin was the most difficult), and to a large banquet hall. Rin practically fell into the nearest chair and lowered her head to the table. She was completely drained.

Jaken hurried out of the room only to return a few minutes later with a tray of food. He put it on the table in front of Rin and took a seat next to her. "Rin, eat before it gets cold."

Rin stared at the tray. It had fresh fruits, grilled fish, and a large bowl of rice. She lifted her hand to the chopsticks next to the bowl but stopped halfway.

"Rin, you need to eat."

"Why?"

Jaken gazed at her, a confused expression on his face. "So you can regain your strength."

"Why eat if this is all a dream?"

"Rin, you're awake. This is not a dream."

Rin continued to stare lazily at her food. "How do you know this is not the dream? Are you sure? Perhaps this is the dream and the nightmares are the reality. Perhaps I am dreaming this to try and forget what is happening to me. A castle I have never known, a town I have never seen. I see and hear and do, yet I can't tell what is real. Will I wake soon, tied to that stake, looking up at him? He will laugh when he sees he has woken me from such a wonderful dream."

"Rin!" Jaken yelled but she didn't acknowledge him.

"Time stands still for me. I sleep yet when I wake the sun is the same. I don't know if I have slept an hour or a day, or perhaps all I have done is closed my eyes. Or maybe, maybe this is all a dream. Maybe my whole life has been a dream and I will have to wake as that poor, lonely child. No family, not even a voice to cry with. Or worse, perhaps this is my hell. Perhaps I am dead and this is my torment, to dream such wonderful dreams only to be awakened to the harshness of reality, of death."

Jaken jumped from his chair onto the table and took Rin's face in his small hands. "Listen to me, Rin! This…is…real!"

"How do you know?" Her voice remained tired and cold. "How do you know you are not but a figment of my imagination? How do you know that this is not a dream and you are but a passing fancy of my mind? Or perhaps, I am a character in yours and you are the dreamer. Or maybe neither of us live but in the mind of another person and when they awaken we will no longer exist. Can you be sure?"

"Why would one who does not exist be concerned with their existence?" Sesshoumaru's voice surprised Jaken as much as his words shocked Rin. They both turned and watched as Sesshoumaru approached, taking the seat that Jaken had previously occupied. He looked at Jaken who was still standing on the table in front of Rin. "Jaken, go and prepare more food for Rin, she will need more than this."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama." Jaken bowed and hurried out of the room.

"Rin, eat. You need your strength."

Rin nodded and picked up her chopsticks again, but still she did not touch her food. "Sesshoumaru-sama, how do I know this is real? I am so very confused."

He sat silent and for a while Rin wasn't sure he was going to answer her, but finally he responded. "Rin, both are real. The nightmares you have, are they memories of what happened? Are you certain that they happened to you?" She nodded unsure where he was going with this. "If they are memories then they have already happened. This is real for you now, the dreams are real, but only for a time you already experienced."

Rin stared at him in awe. She didn't think Sesshoumaru could become any more perfect than he was, yet he just did. She had never realized how intelligent and thoughtful he truly was. She had known of course, just never completely understood.

"Rin," Sesshoumaru's voice brought her out of her thoughts, "eat your food, it will help you."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama." Still not having a strong appetite Rin took only a small amount of rice to her mouth. The moment the rice touched her tongue Rin was in completely bliss. She closed her eyes and lowered her lips to hold the tip of the chopsticks. She didn't want the feeling to end.

_How long has it been since I tasted food? How did I not crave this earlier? It is wonderful! The texture! The taste! I can't remember anything as great as this. More! I need more!_

Rin forgot about everything except for the food in front of her. She picked up the bowl of rice and started shoveling it in into her mouth not caring for propriety or etiquette. Never before had she been filled with the insatiable desire for food. Rin moved her bowl aside only to pick up some fish or fruit. She barely had room in her mouth to breathe, but still she pushed more food in. Rin didn't notice Jaken enter the room, only the food that he set on the table, which she greedily took. Only after almost all the food was gone did Rin's ravenous appetite begin to diminish. Licking off last piece of rice stuck to the edge of her bowl she took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"I didn't realize I was so hungry until I started eating." Her breath was short and fast, as if she had just run for hours. "But now I am so tired again. I can barely keep my eyes open."

Jaken scoffed. "Rin, your eyes are closed right now."

Rin tried to laugh but all that came out was a tired sigh. She let her head roll lazily across her back and didn't even try to lift her hands when they fell from the table. She let out a slight whimper as she was lifted from her chair but her body was too relaxed to care. Rin wasn't sure what was happening, she felt like she was floating off to some place, though she didn't know where, nor did she care. Somehow, she was completely content.

Rin felt her shoulder being gently shaken and a woman's voice calling to her. Her eyes slowly opened to see Saka leaning over her, a smile on her face. "Good morning, Rin. How are you feeling?"

Rin sat up and shook the sleep from her head. "Hungry, but I just ate a little while ago. Other than that, I actually feel a bit better. I don't feel tired anymore."

Saka smiled. "I don't doubt that. You didn't eat a little while ago Rin, you ate yesterday evening. It's morning, you slept all evening and through the night."

"The entire night?" Rin asked shocked.

She nodded and smiled again. "The entire night without anything even a whimper. Now, let's get you dressed, and we'll go and get some breakfast."

Rin pulled away the covers and slid off the bed. She found she had been changed into a white silk night gown during her sleep. Saka handed her a blue and gray kimono to change into and took a brush to smooth Rin's short hair. They went to the dinning hall to find breakfast already set out for them. The table was filled with food and, though she was hungry, Rin doubted she could ever eat that much. Yesterday perhaps, but not today.

"There is so much food."

"Yes, it seems the servants are adjusting nicely."

"Servants?" Rin was feeling better but her memories were still fuzzy. She hadn't remembered anything about servants.

Saka sat down at the table and motioned for Rin to follow her lead. "That's what Sesshoumaru-sama was doing yesterday, preparing the castle, servants, everything you would need to live here. To give you time to heal, I believe."

Rin began eating. _I never had servants before, though it will be nice not to have to think about catching and cooking my food. But, I am inconveniencing Sesshoumaru-sama. He should not have to change his ways just because I am weak._ Rin's appetite quickly left her, and she lowered her chopsticks to the table.

"I thought you were hungry?" Saka asked concerned.

"I believe I have ate my fill."

"Please eat, you will need your strength for today."

"Why?"

"Sesshoumaru-sama has ordered that you learn to defend yourself. You begin training today." Rin bit her lower lip. "I believe it will help you, not just so you can protect yourself, but also to release some of the emotions you are holding back."

Rin lowered her head. _Am I that obvious? Most likely, I'm only human. Still, why does Sesshoumaru-sama wish for me to learn to defend myself? Isn't he going to protect me? Is he just waiting till I am no longer in danger of my nightmares and fears to send me away? Does this mean he doesn't want to protect me anymore? Will he not let me stay in his company?_

Not wanting to be any more of a burden than she already was Rin held back her tears and forced herself to eat. Her hands shook slightly, but Saka didn't say anything. When she had forced down as much as she could, Saka took her back to her room to change into gray training pants and a white shirt. She felt weird wearing it but if Sesshoumaru-sama ordered her to train she would.

Rin was beginning to feel weird having Saka with her every moment, though she knew she would be terrified to be alone. She just wished it was Sesshoumaru who was with her. She felt far safer with him.

Saka led her out of the castle to a clearing in the back of the castle garden. Rin wanted to stop in the garden and look around since it was so beautiful and the day was warm but with a cool breeze. She could barely suppress a smile when she entered the clearing and saw Sesshoumaru talking with a man Rin had never seen before. She didn't care, Sesshoumaru was there.

Both men turned and approached them as they entered the clearing. "Rin, this is Touya, he will be your instructor."

Rin bowed to the man before her. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Touya-sensei."

He smiled at her, revealing a pair of fangs beneath his lips. "You as well, Rin." He motioned for her to come further into the clearing. "Shall we begin."

She hesitated unsure of what her 'training' would consist of. Sesshoumaru walked past her and Rin could feel her fear rising. _Is he going to leave? I don't know this demon? I don't want him to leave me alone? Please, please, stay!_

Almost in response to her silent prayer Sesshoumaru stopped and went to sit under a nearby tree. Rin's heart began calming and she approached her new sensei.

He smiled again. "We won't do too much today. To be honest I have never trained a human before so tell me if I move too fast for you." She nodded. "Good, we will start with some exercises to loosen the muscles and calm the mind."

Touya showed Rin a number of stretching motions and Rin could feel the tension in her body begin to subside. He had her kneel and lower her upper body to the ground, stretching the muscles her back and freeing them of the knots that had formed over the past few days. Next, she pulled her legs out from beneath her and opened them as wide as she could before moving to the grass again.

As she sat there, her face against the soft earth, Rin's body went numb. Her breathing increased and her hands shook. She couldn't explain why, but fear quickly spread throughout her body.

"Rin."

She looked up and saw Akki walking towards her, his body exposed to her, waiting to taint her scent again. Rin's breath stopped in her chest. She tried to back away but something was behind her, trapping her. He leaned his face to her and smiled his blood-chilling smile.

"Rin."

She knew he could see her fear, smell it on her, but she couldn't stop it from coming. He reached his hand to her face and ran his claws down her cheek.

"Rin, breathe."

Her body trembled and she could feel her heart pounding in her chest. Suddenly, Akki punched her hard in the stomach forcing out the air trapped in her body. Rin coughed and choked trying to feel the life return to her lungs.

"Rin," Sesshoumaru's cold voice brought Rin back to her senses.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin whispered as she tried to calm her heart.

"That is enough for today, Touya," Sesshoumaru said as he helped Rin to her feet. He looked at her, his normally emotionless eyes showing a hint of something. "Rin, you may go now."

She nodded and let herself be pulled away by Saka. Her body was still trembling as they entered a small room she had not seen before. It looked like the changing room at the bath house. Rin didn't protest as Saka helped her out of her clothing until she opened the doors on the other side of the room. Rin quickly tried to cover herself and Saka rushed over to her.

"Forgive me, I thought you understood."

"Understood what!" She cared little about modesty in Saka's presence but she didn't care for everyone to see her naked.

"Rin, look, it is a private bath."

Rin looked over Saka's shoulder and into the other room. It was a bath larger than any she had ever seen. If it hadn't been indoors she would have thought it to be a small lake. Saka gently pushed Rin into the room and down to the steaming water. The warm liquid softly lapped against her skin as her tears pelted its surface.

_What was he feeling? Why did he look at me like that? Was it contempt? Was it disgust? Did he know what I was seeing? Did he understand my fear? Does my weakness repulse him? My human weakness. Is that why I must be trained, because he can't stand my human weakness. He can't stand me being human? He can't stand me?_

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OK, how did you like my little philosophy part. I was once a philosophy major so that is where that came from. Decartes is the famous philosopher Sessy quoted (didn't quote word for word, but used his ideas) in order to prove Rin's existence.

So, I was actually planning on making this go to another part but I added the whole Rin learn to defend herself and decided it was better to stop here for now. The real climax of her fears will come in the next chapter, after which some things are gonna happen and a few questions explained, then I will screw with your minds again. Heehee, I am evil at times.


	4. Time

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from InuYasha.

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After her bath Rin and Saka spent most of the day wandering in the garden. It was so beautiful and serene that Rin was able to relax again. Her mind was still racing with questions and fears, but she pushed them aside and let herself admire the tranquility of the scene before her. Flowers of every color bloomed along the intricately designed path, which allowed a person to follow it to any part of the heavenly land they wished to see.

As they walked, Rin found a particular flower and kept returning to look upon it. She wasn't sure why she loved it so much but neither could she stop herself from being drawn to admire its beauty. Tiring a little, Rin decided to sit down and study the flower to try and find out what her attraction to it was. Saka stayed standing behind her with a quite smile on her face.

"You really love this flower, don't you?" Rin nodded not pulling her gaze from the lovely image before her. "Why?"

"I don't know. I was trying to figure that out. I just feel like…like I want to stay here and look at it."

"I think I know why."

Rin finally turned to her. "Why?"

"For the same reason our previous lady loved it. She had found it growing wild in a field and loved it so dearly that InuTaisho-sama had it brought here so she could admire it."

"He did that, for a human?"

Saka looked at her, a fleeting sadness passed over her face. "Human or not she was still the mate to InuTaisho-sama, bearing him a child. He loved her very much."

_She was very lucky then._ Rin shook the thought from her mind. "Why did she like the flower so much?"

"Look at it very carefully, what does it remind you of?"

Rin examined the flower even more. It was the most exquisite thing she had ever seen. It grew from a bush much like roses but bloomed more like a sunflower. A bright amber color graced the middle to which white petals stretched out, reaching to find the warmth of the waiting sun. The dew sticking to the edges of the silken petals made them glisten as the yellow rays passed through them, giving each one a unique and glorious shimmer of silver.

She wanted to reach out and pluck one so as to have it close to her, but to rip such a pristine creature from its home would be unthinkable. Instead she closed her eyes and imagined the flower in her hand, its soft petals caressing her fingers. Its beautiful, soft, silver petals. The amber center gazing up at her. Yes, gazing like a radiant, perfect being watching her. Rin opened her eye as her realization came.

"Sesshoumaru-sama."

Rin hadn't notice Saka move but found her kneeling behind her. "He looks so very similar to InuTaisho-sama, it is easy to believe you both love it for the same reason."

_Love?_ Rin stood up suddenly forcing Saka onto the ground confused by her reaction. "Rin, are you well?"

"I am tired. I want to go to bed, if I may." Rin could feel the water collecting in her eyes.

"It is still rather early," Saka said standing up and brushing the dirt from her kimono. "You haven't had supper yet and it would be best if you tried to return to a normal routine."

Rin kept her back to Saka. "I have no appetite and am very tired. I would like to go to sleep." She surprised herself with the even tone she was able to maintain in her voice.

"At least wait till you have supper. You are still regaining your strength."

Rin could not hold her tears back much longer and did not wish Saka to see her cry for she knew she would be questioned. "I am going to my room. I do not want any food." She hurried off leaving Saka standing there completely confused.

When she was finally out of Saka's sight Rin ran into the castle heading straight for her room. She made it to the corridor that led to her small sanctuary when she crashed into Sesshoumaru causing her small body to tumble back to the staircase. She felt her foot slip off the landing and the earth's pull dragging her headfirst to the hard stone stairs. Just as she was sure her body would connect with the sharp edge of the stone a hand grabbed her around the waist and held her still. Sesshoumaru carefully lifted Rin back to the landing and looked down at her, that small hint of emotion in the back of his eyes.

"Rin."

She bolted for her room and slammed the door shut before running and collapsing on her bed.

_I can't let him see my weakness again. I can't let him watch me crying. I can't stand to see that look in his eyes. He hates humans! I am just another weak human! I can do nothing! Why does he keep me here? I am nothing but a burden to him, a weak human he has to watch over. But why? Why watch over me? I am weak! I am worthless! I am human! He hates humans!_

_Is that what he feels? That look he gives me? Is it hate? Hate toward this pathetic human wretch? Does he even care for me? Why would he save me if he didn't care for me? But how can he care for something he hates?_

_Why do I have to be weak! Why do I have to be human! Why do I have to be alive! _Rin placed her nail to the back of her neck and pressed them in, careful not to break skin, but with enough force to cause pain.

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Saka headed for the castle. It had taken a moment for her to get over Rin's sudden outburst and she knew Sesshoumaru would be angry if he found out she had let the distressed girl go off on her own. After her self-abuse in the bath house it could be dangerous for her to be on her own in a panicked state. As the castle came into view Saka saw Sesshoumaru approaching her, and he was not in his pristine calmness. His face was expressionless as usual, but she could tell by his hasty movements and clenched fist that he had seen Rin.

Saka took a deep breath and readied herself for the confrontation. Sesshoumaru stopped in front of her, his emotionless eyes boring deeply into her as he waited for her to speak. "Sesshoumaru-sama, forgive me for not being with Rin. She left so abruptly it caught me off guard. I will not let it happen again."

"What happened?" his voice low and even.

"I am not quite sure. We were simply talking in the garden when she stood up and ran off. I don't know what I said to cause such a reaction."

Sesshoumaru looked over her shoulder to the garden and Saka almost thought she saw pain in his eyes. Almost. "Do not let it happen again," he said before walking back into the castle.

Saka let out a sigh of relief, she had not expected to be let off so easily. She knew Sesshoumaru had a much fiercer temperament than his father, but she _was_ Rin's only support at the moment so that probably gave her protection from his wrath. She pitied the next person to come into contact with Sesshoumaru.

Remembering that she had just been let off Saka hurried to Rin's room. She quietly entered to find Rin asleep in her bed. Her legs were twisted together at unusual angles, her teeth pulled her lower lip tightly into her mouth, and her fingernails were clenching the skin on her neck.

Saka gently untangled Rin's legs and removed her fingers from her neck. Small imprints of her fingers were visible on her neck and she knew Sesshoumaru would not be pleased to see them. Saka did not try and stop Rin from biting her lip for fear of waking her. She sat on the bed next to her and lightly stroked Rin's hair.

_You've been hurting yourself again. What is it that made you do this? You seemed so peaceful in the garden, what happened? Why won't you tell anyone what happened to you? You do not have to bear this on your own. No one should have to bear this on their own. What is it you fear most?_

Rin's head twitched beneath her hand. Her teeth bit deeper into her lip till they drew blood. Saka tried to wake her but the nightmare would not release its prey so easily.

"Rin, wake up," she called louder and shook Rin's shoulder but to no avail.

Suddenly Rin's hands thrust to her own neck and she began clawing at her skin. Blood splattered on the covers beneath them and on Saka herself as she tried to take hold of Rin's hands and stop her unconscious abuse.

"Rin wake up! Rin!" The only response Saka received was the most blood curdling screams she had ever heard. Her hands shook as she continued to try and catch Rin's arms. _What are you dreaming?_

Then in one swift movement a hand came forward, took both of Rin's wrists, and pulled her up. White fabric was bunched up at the elbow, which was placed in the bend of Rin's own to hold her steady. "Rin!"

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Rin's eye shot open at the sound of Sesshoumaru's voice. Where was she now? If that last thing she knew was right she should be in her room. Rin slowly moved her head around as she tried to control her breathing, which was erratic at best. She was in her room, Saka was beside her looking almost scared, and Sesshoumaru held her shaking arms in his hand.

"Rin, are you all right?"

She stared at his face, tears streaming down her own. She didn't want to show him her weakness anymore, that was why she had run from him, but the nightmare was too real. She wanted to feel safe from her terrors. She could still remember it. Akki's body on top of her smaller one, the perverse smile on his face as she finally screamed for him, for the first time. The feel of his claws at her throat as he ripped through her pure and innocent body, defiling her, tainting her. She could still fell the pain between her legs, the endless pain he caused her.

Rin threw herself against Sesshoumaru's chest and wept violently into his haori. Her body heaved with each sob that escaped her throat. Sesshoumaru released her wrists and placed his hand on her head, stroking her hair with his thumb.

"Rin, what happened in your dream?" Saka asked, placing an arm around her shoulders.

Rin ignored her. She wanted to forget the dream, not relive it again. She leaned closer against Sesshoumaru, her sobs slowly fading away. When she no longer shook beneath him, Sesshoumaru gently pushed Rin back. He brought his hand to the side of her neck.

"Rin, lean your head over."

Confused, Rin complied and immediately felt sharp pains course though her body. She lowered her eyes to her hands to find blood covering the tips. _That's what brought him here. He smelled the blood._ Sesshoumaru tenderly wiped blood away from her wounds and examined them.

"They are not deep, let them heal on their own. Your body should not rely on Tenseiga." She nodded, not even wincing at the pain it caused. "Get cleaned up then join me for dinner. You must eat to regain your strength."

Rin was shocked by his request but said nothing as he stood and left the room, leaving Saka to tend to her. She watched as Saka brought over a basin of water and began rinsing off Rin's neck using cloth torn from her own kimono.

_Why does he wish to eat with me? He does not eat what I do, so really only I will be having dinner. Probably he just wishes to ensure that I eat, but why? Why does he care if I do or do not? I am human._ Tears ran the now familiar path down her cheeks. Things she once thought she understood completely seemed like meaningless concepts she had used to hide from the truth.

"I am so confused."

Saka wiped her mouth that, until then, Rin had not noticed to be hurt. "Why? What is it that you do not understand?"

Rin hesitated. "Why does he keep me here?"

"So you can heal. You are here to rest and recover."

"No!" Rin scream came louder than she had meant. "Why does he keep me at all! Why does he not send me away! Why did he bring me back to life!"

Saka brought Rin's head to her chest and rocked her back and forth. "He does not show it well, but Sesshoumaru-sama cares for you."

"He cannot. I am human."

"You being human doesn't matter. InuTaisho-sama mated a human woman."

"Sesshoumaru-sama is not like his father, you said so yourself. He is like no one else in the world. He will not care for a human. Humans are weak. Humans are nothing more than a burden. How can he care for such a worthless creature as a human?"

"Is that what you believe? You believe he hates you?"

Rin couldn't bring herself to say those words, saying them would make them true, and Rin desperately wanted them to be a lie. So instead, Rin merely repeated, "Sesshoumaru-sama hates humans."

Saka kept rocking Rin, trying to comfort her, until a servant came with bandages for Rin's wounds. As Saka wrapped the thin cloth around her neck Rin kept thinking of what had just happened.

_He didn't pull away from me when I went to him. He didn't reject me. Why? Doesn't he hate me? Isn't he just waiting till he can send me away? _

_But why wait if he was going to do that? Why would it matter if I died after he left me? Why did he bring me back? Why can't I believe he cares for me? _

_He can't care for me. I am human. _

_But he has given me life again, he has brought me here._

_And I should be ashamed, for forcing him to do such things. He didn't want to come back. Saka said he hadn't returned in decades. I forced him here! My weakness brought him here._

_But how can a weakness force Sesshoumaru-sama into anything? He is the strongest person alive, how can I force him to do anything? Can it be anything but what he _wants_ to happen? Can he want to take care of me? To love me?_

_He hates humans! He cannot show care to them! He can't even stand his hanyou half-brother, and he is kin. How can he care for a human? He cannot love a human!_

_But he has saved me so many times! He has always come when I needed help!_

_Yes, I have always caused him trouble. I have always made him risk himself for me. I am a threat to him, too weak to look after myself so I need to be protected and rescued._

_But he wants me to learn to protect myself. He wants me to be stronger. He wants me to not need his protection as much. To take care of myself if he is away._

_When he is away. When he throws me out to some village and tells me to stay there. Stay with the weak humans of which I was born, of which I should have been raised._

_But _he_ raised me! _He_ took care of me! _He_wanted me with him!_

_He didn't want me, I followed him. He didn't ask me to come with him, he never would have. I am just a curious toy that he has kept, to see what it will do. I am nothing to him, nothing more than a human._

_He…will leave me._

_Why would he want a disgusting whore in his company? At least before I was pure and innocent. Now, now I am a shame to him. I am nothing. _

_I am…human._

_Sesshoumaru-sama hates humans._

Rin was so deep in thought that she never noticed Saka pulling her from the bed and dressing her in a yellow and green silk kimono. They were halfway down the staircase when Rin finally noticed she had moved. She began dreading every step towards the dinning hall. She didn't want to disgrace Sesshoumaru anymore with her presence. When they entered Sesshoumaru was already seated at the table, back straight and face as clear and calm as ever. Food had already been prepared and awaited her, but Rin felt no need for sustenance. Saka pulled out the chair for her and Rin sat down, not even daring a quick glance toward Sesshoumaru.

"You will not be needed here," Sesshoumaru said to Saka. She bowed and left them alone.

Rin didn't look up to Sesshoumaru but neither did she eat. Her stomach felt like it wanted to escape her body and was doing its hardest to climb up her throat.

"Rin, eat."

She steadied her voice. "I am not hungry, Sesshoumaru-sama."

"You have only eaten twice in three days. Eat."

"Three? No, six," Rin said unconsciously.

"What?" Sesshoumaru asked, a hint of confusion was notable in his voice. Rin's eyes widened in horror. She had not meant to say that aloud. "Rin, how long were you a prisoner?"

Rin bit her lower lip causing it to start bleeding again. This was the first time Sesshoumaru had directly questioned Rin on her kidnapping. She didn't want to answer, but she would not disobey Sesshoumaru. She couldn't give him a reason to send her away. "As long as Sesshoumaru-sama and Jaken-sama were gone. I was taken while I was preparing to cook my dinner."

Sesshoumaru turned from her and stared at the wall before him. _Please, please, do not ask anything more!_ Rin silently prayed, her hands shaking in her lap.

"Rin," Sesshoumaru began, causing her body tensed, "eat your dinner, you need your strength. I will see you tomorrow during your lesson." She nodded and picked up her chopsticks. After she had started eating Sesshoumaru left.

The rest of the day went by in a blur to Rin. Her mind felt lost in a fog that refused to let her see anything clearly. Saka had taken her back to her room after she finished eating and let her go to bed, though she awoke twice because of her nightmares. The rising sun gave no new light for Rin's troubled thoughts and she walked through her morning without truly doing anything. Saka was visibly worried about her young ward and did her best to engage Rin's mind.

"Rin, it is time for your lesson."

Rin looked at Saka, for the first time acknowledging anything she said. "Already?"

"Yes, it is mid-morning. Let's get you changed and go to the garden."

Rin nodded and once again allowed herself to be led away. Once changed, Saka took Rin out of the castle and to the clearing behind the garden. Touya greeted Rin warmly but she didn't care to see him, she was looking to find Sesshoumaru, who was no where to be seen.

"Rin, are you well?" Touya asked.

When she couldn't find Sesshoumaru Rin looked to the ground. "Yes, Touya-sensei."

"Then let us begin."

Rin did as she was told, but no matter how much she stretched or was instructed to relax, her body tensed with each movement she made. She could tell that her resistance annoyed Touya, but she couldn't help her body's reactions.

"Rin, why don't we stop for today, you don't seem to be able to relax."

"Forgive me, Touya-sensei."

"Rin, are you tired?" Sesshoumaru's voice came from behind her.

"No, Sesshoumaru-sama." Rin lowered her head and let out a small sigh.

"Then, Touya, you shall continue her training. She will learn nothing if she does not get beyond stretching."

"Of course Sesshoumaru-sama, but she is not…"

"It's all right," Rin interrupted. "I will try again, Touya-sensei."

Seemingly outnumbered, Touya began again and this time Rin was able to relax her body. She hoped one day her body wouldn't be scared of Touya, but till then she needed Sesshoumaru there for her to feel safe. She made it through her stretching without having a flashback this time so Touya began her on basic defense. This proved to be harder than Touya had expected. No matter what he did, or how many times Rin was told to move or block, her body froze when Touya approached her.

After a few minutes of this Touya stopped and let Rin rest as he went over to talk with Sesshoumaru. Rin felt her body drained of its energy, fear being one of the most exhausting of emotions. Touya returned to stand in front of her.

"Rin, I think it would be best for you if a woman was your sparring partner for now. We can gradually change you to men, but if you never are able to move to learn the techniques then this is useless." She nodded. "Good, then we will stop for today. Tomorrow I will bring another one of my students, she will help with your training."

"Thank you, Touya-sensei." Rin bowed to Touya and went back to the castle with Saka.

Slowly, the days fell into a simple routine. Rin would wake up, have breakfast, and then go to her lessons. The woman Touya brought, Terra, was a monkey demon and very strong in her skill. With Terra as her partner Rin began to learn mild defense, though Sesshoumaru still attended each of her lessons. After her lesson she bathed then went to the garden if the weather permitted. Saka often found something for her to do after lunch; sometimes she get a book from the castle library and have Saka teach her to read (Rin herself only had learned the most basic reading skills needed as a child), while other times she would just go out and sit with Ahun who always enjoyed her company. Once Rin had dinner she would often return to the garden before heading off to bed.

As days turned to weeks Rin found she was improving, it was slow and tiring, but there was improvement. Her nightmares still came, but only once a night and she didn't wake up screaming because of them. Her daytime flashes still remained, but it often took a very strong influence to bring them out and, as long as Sesshoumaru called her, she would come out of them immediately.

Even her feelings of shame and disgrace were fading away. She was no longer able to deny the fact that Sesshoumaru took care of her. Though she didn't know what he thought or felt, she was finally accepting the idea he would not leave her. All the time spent to teach her, all the years he raised her, the simple fact when she was lost in one of her nightmares he would bring her out of it made her feel secure. There were still fears in her, terrors that haunted her, but she was starting to overcome them.

After four months at the castle Rin was able to sleep through the night and only have a nightmare once or twice a week. Her daytime flashes were all but gone and she actually caught herself smiling and laughing again. She had been able to spar against Touya without freezing up or screaming and he had even taught her a few offensive moves.

For all the progress Rin made uneasiness grew in her. She found herself snapping at Saka for no reason, only to immediately regret it. She spent hours in the garden just walking, not even thinking or knowing what she was doing, just walking. Her appetite left her again and she had to be forced to the table to eat. Her mind seemed unable to focus on her lessons with Touya, so much so that one day she just left her lesson not caring what would happen.

One night, a few days after she left her lesson, Rin left her room and ran to the garden. The room felt so small and constricted, she wanted to be outside. She went to her favorite spot in the garden, the bushes baring the beautiful white flowers, and sat staring at them. She figured out long before that watching them calmed her, but this night as she stared at the flowers, dew sticking to the petals and reflecting the light of the full moon in the sky, Rin wept.

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Saka hurried along the dimly lit corridors of the castle towards Sesshoumaru's chambers. She was shocked when a servant came and summoned at such a late hour, but when Sesshoumaru called she had to come. Before she was even at the door she heard Sesshoumaru call her to come in. Quickly she entered the room and found him out on a small balcony.

"Come here, Saka," he called without even turning from whatever it was he was looking at.

She approached and quickly saw the object of his fascination. Rin, sitting upon the cold earth, knees to her chest, was crying in the garden.

"She was recovering. Why has she gotten worse?" Sesshoumaru asked.

"Indeed, I have been trying to figure out what it is that has been bothering her, but even she doesn't know. I think, perhaps, she has reached a point where life here will only smother her. It helped when everything in the world terrified her, but now, she is starting to regain her independence, from me, from the servants. She may want to return to the life she had before the attack."

"Is she ready for that?" his voice showed no emotion but his eyes had the slightest hint of worry in them.

Saka watch the woman below, body shaking with quiet sobs. "I think the progress she has made may be undone if she stays. She is a strong woman, and it will be frightening at first, her nightmares may even come more frequently again, but to return to her normal life is something that she needs.

'She knows you wouldn't be here if she hadn't been attacked, and I think she blames herself slightly, for making you come. If it were up to me I would want to at least try and return her to the life she was used to. If she becomes too terrified then bring her back, but at least give her the chance."

He kept his eyes on Rin and said nothing. "Shall I go and bring Rin in for the night?"

"No, let her be. I will speak with her tomorrow. You may go." Saka bowed and left the room, but just as she reached the door Sesshoumaru called out to her, "Saka, pack some of Rin's things and prepare food that will stay well."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama."

Saka closed the screen behind her and headed to Rin's room. As she took out a few kimonos from her wardrobe Saka made a silent prayer._ Sesshoumaru-sama take care of Rin, she is close to healing the last of her wounds, but even one moment can ruin all her hard work. _

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Rin awoke with a shock the next morning as she stared up at Sesshoumaru. She had fallen asleep in the garden, soiling her white night robe. She quickly stood up but kept her eyes to the ground. A slight blush crossed her cheeks when she realized all she had to cover herself was her robe but it increased when she remembered it didn't really matter since Sesshoumaru had seen her naked.

"Rin, go on inside and change for your lesson with Touya."

Confused Rin looked to the sky only to see the sun was barely risen above the horizon, far too early for her lesson. "Why, Sesshoumaru-sama, am I to have it so early?"

"This will be you last lesson. Once you have cleaned up and eaten we shall leave."

Rin stared at him, a smile creeping onto her face. "We are leaving the castle? To travel again?"

He nodded then turned to the castle. "Hurry up, Rin."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama." Rin wasn't sure why but the idea of leaving the castle and traveling again sounded wonderful. She ran ahead of Sesshoumaru and up to her room. A pack lay on her bed next to her training clothes, which she readily changed into. Saka didn't even have a chance to enter the room before Rin was down the stairs and out of the castle.

Rin was filled with energy as she approached the field where Sesshoumaru and Touya already waited. Rin smiled at them and took her place across from Touya. "Good morning, Touya-sensei."

"You are that happy this is your last lesson?" he asked laughing.

"Oh no, that's not it." Rin looked to the ground embarrassed.

"It's all right. Shall we begin?"

Rin nodded and they proceeded with their lesson as they always did. Rin couldn't help but feel slightly sad not to see Touya anymore, she had grown used to his encouragement everyday. The training had been a very good outlet for Rin, as Saka had said. Still, Rin couldn't wait to leave the castle and be out in the wilderness again. She was scared, but she knew Sesshoumaru would take care of her, and now she could protect herself, so her excitement outweighed her terror.

Touya gave Rin a gentle hug as they said good-bye. "Take care of yourself, Rin. You can always come back and visit us you know."

She nodded. "Thank you for all you have done, Touya-sensei."

"Go and clean up. We will leave before mid-day."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama." Rin bowed to them all and returned to the castle for her bath. As she sat in the water, her muscles relaxing under the quite movement of the ripples, Rin thought about leaving the castle.

_I wonder why Sesshoumaru-sama decided to leave all of a sudden. He didn't appear to have any desire to leave._

_Of he course he wants to leave. He didn't want to come here, I made him do that. Besides Sesshoumaru-sama is practically the only person I haven't yelled at lately. I bet he was very upset with me though when I left Touya-sensei in the middle of my lesson. I should have been more respectful._

_Is it my fault everyone keeps smothering me? Sesshoumaru-sama is the only one who gives me any space._

_Well, lately Saka-sama has been leaving me alone more, but can you blame them for being worried, I kept hurting myself in the beginning. They were probably under Sesshoumaru-sama's orders to keep close to me._

_But I don't hurt myself anymore! I haven't hurt myself for three months! I don't need protection all the time. The entire castle protects me, why can't I have freedom in it?_

_I won't be in the castle anymore. We are leaving the castle. I will be out there again. It isn't safe out there. The demons out there aren't loyal to Sesshoumaru-sama, they won't care what happens to me. Most would find me a very tasty human. Why was I so happy to be going back there? It is dangerous out there._

_But Sesshoumaru-sama will be with me. He will take care of me. Why should I be worried since he will be there?_

_But he cannot be there all the time. He has things he must attend to, things that I would only be in the way of. He will leave me then. I will be alone._

_No, Ahun will be there. Sesshoumaru-sama always leaves Ahun with me. He probably will leave Jaken-sama too, now._

_But Ahun couldn't stop them! Ahun died trying to protect me! What if another demon comes, one stronger then Akki and Haku? Ahun and Jaken-sama won't be able to stop them! Why did I want to go out there again? I can't leave the castle!_

_But here I am smothered! I have to choose which one I would rather have. Would I rather be here in the castle protected, overprotected, or out in the wilderness, in danger? Do I really want to be afraid all the time?_

_But Sesshoumaru-sama won't let anything happen to me again. Besides, I can protect myself now. Touya-sensei taught me well, I can take care of myself, and I don't want to be a burden to Sesshoumaru-sama anymore._

_What if someone comes though? What if a demon stronger than Sesshoumaru-sama comes? What if I get kidnapped again?_

_What if the sun falls from the sky? I can't live like this! I can't keep questioning every little thing I do. That's it, I will just follow Sesshoumaru-sama like I always did. No more questioning. I will do what he says no matter what I think or what fears come to me. I am not going to live my life terrified of the world. It isn't fair me to. It isn't fair to Sesshoumaru-sama to have to take care of me._

Rin took a deep breath and dunked her head below the surface. The water felt wonderful, clean, refreshing. She slowly slid her face back out smoothing her hair back as she did. It was still short but was starting to look slightly feminine again, mainly because Saka showed her how pull it in the back to make it look longer. She still missed her long hair but there was little to be done about it now, she just had to wait.

She finished cleaning and got out of the bath, putting on her robe and shaking her hair dry. She smiled to herself and she combed her dark locks, short hair had a few advantages. Just as she finished drying, a knock sounded from the screen door.

"Rin, are you still in there?" Saka's voice filled her ears.

Rin walked to the door and opened it. "Just finished, and you knew full well I was still in here."

"Of course, but I thought you might like it if I asked." Rin laughed and headed for her room, Saka next to her. "Your food is ready once you're changed and Ahun is being prepared right now."

"Thank you, Saka-sama. You have been very kind to me, I will miss you. I'm sorry I have been troublesome these last few days."

Saka laughed. "Rin, you have been troublesome since you arrived here." Rin's smile faded. "Don't worry, I am happy to have taken care of you. You are, if nothing else, an interesting woman." They stopped outside of Rin's room. "Take care of yourself and if you need to come back tell Sesshoumaru-sama. He will bring you if you need it."

"I don't want to need it," Rin said firmly. "I don't want to be afraid anymore."

Saka leaned in and hugged her. "Promise me if you need to you will come back. You have done so well but don't push yourself."

"I won't."

"I have a present for you." Saka reached into her kimono.

"You didn't have to do that."

She smiled and pulled out Rin's favorite flower. "I know, but I thought you might like this. Turn around." Rin did as she told and Saka placed the shimmering white blossom against her black hair, tucking the stem into the band holding back the slightly longer strands.

Rin turned back to Saka and embraced her. "I can't thank you enough. Are you going to see us off?"

Saka shook her head. "I have a lot to do here now that you are leaving. Sesshoumaru-sama has left me in charge of getting the servants out and the castle maintained."

Rin released Saka from her embrace and opened the screen door. "Good-bye, Saka-sama."

"Good luck, Rin." Saka smiled and left Rin to go change.

After she was changed into a blue and gray kimono she picked up the pack on her bed and took one last look around her room. A part of her was going to miss the luxury of it, but so much more couldn't wait for the chance to reclaim that which was her life. With a wistful smile Rin closed the door and headed for the dinning hall.

She found the table sparsely covered with food and Sesshoumaru waiting for her. She quickly took her seat and began eating. Sesshoumaru didn't say anything, he barely acknowledged her presence, but she could tell he was watching her. She had figured out years ago that the more he ignored her the more she was sure he watched her. Her suspicions were confirmed when before she even set her chopsticks down Sesshoumaru stood up.

"Rin, let's be off."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama." Rin grabbed her pack from the floor and hurried after Sesshoumaru who was already out of the room. At the front of the castle Ahun happily greeted her as Jaken waited impatiently. Rin ran up to Ahun, letting him nuzzle his heads against her.

"Ahun, I bet you're happy to be out of the castle." Her only response was an affectionate growl.

"Let's go," Sesshoumaru said walking away.

Jaken hurried behind him repeating to Rin, "Let's go."

Rin couldn't help but giggle a little. It felt like such a long time since things felt normal. The headed south of the castle, but avoided returning to the village, turning slightly to the east instead. Rin was reveling in being out in the forests again, though a part of her was still scared. She could tell the others could smell her fear because Sesshoumaru and Jaken didn't move to far away and Ahun never left her side.

They never restricted her movement though, they had no need to. She found herself much more limited now. Where before she would have simply gone off to look at something or find food on her own, she now pulled closer to Ahun, holding his black mane and slowly directing him over with her, and never more than a few steps from Sesshoumaru and Jaken.

By nightfall they had traveled very far, she didn't know to where they were headed, but then she never really did. That night she was very tired, exhausted from traveling and from her fears. She couldn't seem to relax her muscles no matter what she did. She even tried doing some of Touya's stretches but still her body pulled at itself.

"We shall stop her for the night," Sesshoumaru said as they entered a small meadow. "Jaken, go get wood for a fire."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama." The small toad scurried off to do his master's bidding.

When Jaken was out of sight Sesshoumaru seated himself and turned to Rin. "Are you all right? You have been very tense."

Rin nodded, sitting down as Ahun positioned himself around her small body. "I am well, Sesshoumaru-sama. Just adjusting again, I suppose." A cool breeze passed over them causing Rin to pull her kimono tighter.

"Jaken will return soon, rest yourself."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama."

Rin closed her eyes, settling herself next to Ahun's side and feeling his tail curl over her legs. It was a little heavy over her but the protective feeling was too nice for her to move it. It was cold though, the wind was picking up. She felt her body tense up more and Ahun push her slighter closer to him with his tail. She wished Jaken would get back and start the fire already.

_Jaken, start the fire. It's cold. When did it get this cold? Why won't it warm up? Isn't he back yet?_ Rin tired to pull her arms together to rub them but they wouldn't move from behind her. _Move…why won't they move? _

She pulled harder but to no avail. She moved and turned, yanking, but they wouldn't move. The wind blew over her again, freezing her wet body. Wet? She looked down at herself, her naked body drenched in her own blood. Rin shook her head and felt her hands shaking, though she couldn't get them to move at her command.

A cold snake-like creature slide over her legs terrifying her to the point her body threw itself up. Rin eyes opened immediately and she tried to take hold of her surroundings. It was Ahun's tail that slid over her legs, waking her. His heads were straining to see her, while his body held still to support her. A fire was flickering and nearby Jaken was sleeping. That comforted Rin, since if she had screamed he would be awake. Sesshoumaru was standing on the other side of the fire, he looked as if he were about to approach her but returned to his seat.

"Rin, are you well, now?"

She took a moment to control her breathing. "Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama. It was not severe."

He looked at her for a moment. "Try and rest." Rin nodded and closed her eyes, pulling closer to Ahun, but she did not sleep.

The rest of the week was no better for Rin and her body was beginning to suffer for it. Sesshoumaru often questioned her on it but she merely replied, "It's all right. I am simply adjusting still. I'll be better tomorrow." She would not let her weakness affect Sesshoumaru again, but each day was just as bad as the previous.

The morning after a rather harsh nightmare Rin fell asleep against Ahun's back as they traveled. Her body relaxed against Ahun as his heads made sure she didn't fall off, and for the first time since they left the castle Rin was able to rest without a nightmare. She began sleeping more during the day and Sesshoumaru didn't stop her, though she felt slightly bad for slowing him down.

After a few months many of Rin's fears were gone and her nightmares came only once or twice every few weeks. She was able to sleep comfortably at night and even Ahun was willing to give her a little more room, though, he never strayed far from her side. Things seemed to be returning to the way they were before the kidnapping and Rin was finally feeling happy again.

One moonless night they stopped to make camp near a secluded lake. Not wanting to waste the opportunity Rin asked to go bathe.

Sesshoumaru looked at the area around them. "Stay near the shore and call if you need anything."

"Thank you, Sesshoumaru-sama." Rin went to her bag and grabbed some soap that Saka had packed for her. There wasn't much of it left, but it was better than nothing. She took a towel and hurried down to the lake for a quick bath. She still had difficulty going off on her own, but she didn't feel like having Jaken or Sesshoumaru _watching_ her.

Once on the shore Rin undressed and placed her carefully folded kimono on a stone she had cleaned off. The water moved and pushed against itself as her body broke its surface. Rin let herself revel in the coolness seeping into her skin before taking the soap and washing herself. She had been quite good at listening to her environment when she was alone, but for some reason, as she lapped the water against her body, Rin didn't notice the figure approaching her till a hand grabbed her shoulder.

The hand forced her around to face a man with dark brown eyes and disheveled black hair. He was human, that much Rin could tell. She opened her mouth the scream but his free hand clamped over it nearly cutting off her breath. A small breeze pulled her wet hair over her neck, it pulled away from the camp. The wind would not tell Sesshoumaru of her unwanted guest. The man's eyes were fixed on Rin's chest, which heaved with her struggle for air.

"What a lovely women." The man's voice was deep and husky and his words slightly slurred. "A pretty woman like you shouldn't be out here alone. You need a strong man to protect you."

Rin began shaking which only made the man pull closer to her. _Why? Why can't I move? Wasn't this what I was trained to stop? Why can't I move now? Why can't I do something, anything to get Sesshoumaru-sama's attention? Why am I just standing here? Move! Damn it, move!_

Rin's mental cries were not heeded by her body and she stood still as the man ran his fingers down her arm and then took her by the waist.

_Fight him! He is just a human! Hit him! Kick him! He isn't even restraining me! Do something! Bite his hand and scream! Scream under his hand! Sesshoumaru-sama will hear me! Scream!_

Still, her limbs submitted to his touch and she moved backwards, further into the lake. "It is dangerous for a lady to be out here. Someone could try and take advantage of her," as he said this he pulled her against him, hand still at her mouth.

_Push away! Don't let him do this! Stop it! Fight him!_

He brought his hand from her waist, grazing her stomach and reaching for her breast. "I can protect you from them."

As his fingers brushed her cold, sensitive skin Rin no longer saw him. His fingers were not touching her. Fingers were not sliding over her skin. Claws were tearing through her flesh. Akki's claws were ripping apart her skin and releasing her warm, red blood from her body. Rin could hold nothing back, the pain consumed her very being and she screamed with all the strength her voice could bring.

"Rin!" Blood covered her body but as she opened her eyes she saw it was not her own. Sesshoumaru's hand clenched the man's broken neck, blood flowed over his fingers and stained his white haori. His eyes were filled anger and hate as he looked at her. "Jaken, stay with Rin." With that he leapt out of the water taking the lifeless body with him.

Trembling, Rin collapsed into the water beneath her and cried. Jaken waded slightly into the lake to try and get to Rin. "What happened Rin? How did that man get so close to you? Why didn't you call earlier? Surely he wasn't that fast, he was only human. Why didn't you try and fight him off?"

"Shut up." Rin was already asking herself those questions and didn't want to have them repeated to her.

"Rin! What has gotten into you? What happened…"

Jaken was cut off as Rin rushed him taking his face in her hand. "I said shut up!" She pulled him back and used all her strength to throw him. Jaken was thrust against the base of a tree and fell unconscious. Rin stared at him and then her hand.

_What have I done? How can I hurt those I care about but freeze when I am in danger? How can I be so weak? What was the point of my training? Of all the strength I gained if I can only use it to hurt my friends? Am I that weak? Have I wasted all of Sesshoumaru-sama's kindness? All his attempt to keep me safe?_

_Sesshoumaru-sama…his eyes…his eyes had hatred…had anger. He can't stand my weakness. He hates it. He hates me. I am a disgrace to him. Even after all he has done I couldn't stop a man from touching me. I wasn't even bound! I just stood there! I have disgraced him again._

_I cannot let the disgrace continue. I must end the shame, the contempt. I must free Sesshoumaru-sama from such a pathetic, whimpering, human whore. I have no right to be in his company._

_If I leave though, he will come after me. He will worry if he doesn't know what has happened. I have to end the disgrace so he knows what I have done._

Rin moved deeper into the lake till it reached just below her breasts. She searched the bottom with her foot until she found what she desired. Slowly, Rin lowered herself beneath the water's surface and ran her hands over a root slightly raised from the lake floor creating a small opening between it and the soft earth. Rin slipped one hand through the opening, then the other. She felt the pressure building in her chest so Rin let the air out of her lungs.

She made both hands into fists and pulled against the root, neither could release themselves from their makeshift binding. The pressure was forming once again, only deep in her throat, begging for the life giving substance above the lake. Her body ached for her to open her mouth again and bring in the clean air.

She opened her eyes beneath the water but could not see anything beyond the dusty water. Rin smiled a tired, sorrowful smile and opened her mouth, taking the blissful pain to her lungs.

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:runs to corner and hides: No one wants to kill me, right? Don't make me bring Ahun out here to protect me. Though I rather deserve it, I mean, talk about a cliffhanger. Do you realize how long it took for me to get here? I have wanted to end there forever and it never seemed to come.


	5. Understanding

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha.

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As water surged into her lungs Rin's body jerked and flailed in the lake, struggling to reach the surface, but her hands remained firmly trapped beneath her bindings. Her body refused the liquid and purged her of it only to bring in more in its next attempt to find air. She screamed and cried beneath the waves her convulsions made. It was painful, a mix of the most severe pressure her body had ever felt and the pure need to relieve it, but she didn't care. It was her punishment. Punishment for her weakness. Punishment for disgracing Sesshoumaru.

As the cold water tore at the soft tissues inside her body Rin felt her muscles weaken. Her limbs slowed their movements and the water's force began pulling her to the lake floor. Rin's legs shifted the lifeless earth beneath her, creating a small grave for her body to rest in. Rin smiled that weak, melancholy smile again, letting her eyes close. Beat by beat her heart slowed, each pulse pounding against her ribs in a futile attempt to stay alive. One moment, two beats. One moment, one beat. One moment…

Rin's eyes flew open as her body was ripped from the watery sanctuary, wrists tearing the false binding from the ground. An arm slid up between her breasts and its palm stretched wide just below her collarbones. Her frail dying form was thrust against the imposing figure holding her, back to chest, as the hand pressed into her torso. Water flew from her mouth with the force placed on her and instinctively Rin's lungs attempted to draw breath again.

Knives tore across her chest as the air pushed the water through the corroded tubes within her forcing more of it out. She was released from the person's grip and fell to her hands and knees. The death in her lungs was violently shoved out as she seized more precious oxygen. When her flesh finally released itself of the pressure that had plagued her, Rin collapsed to the ground coughing and shivering.

A cloth was placed over her body and when she managed to focus her eyes she saw that it was her kimono. Sesshoumaru knelt over her, a look in his eyes that she had never seen and couldn't place. "Why, Rin?"

She pulled away from him, struggling to stand on her frail legs, tears following the familiar trail down her face. He moved toward her but she shied away, nearly falling to the ground again. "I cannot…cannot disgrace you anymore."

"Disgrace me?" He approached her again and received the same reaction as before.

"Yes, I disgrace Sesshoumaru-sama with my very presence. I am weak, and useless, and have been tainted. My body is a disgrace! My mind is a disgrace! I have burdened you for so long. I should not have been brought back! I can be nothing but a vile, poisoned creature! You gave me a chance, you got me help and here, now, when I should have used it, when I could have fought back…I did nothing! I let that bastard come near me! I couldn't stop him! I am a disgrace! I don't want to defile you anymore!"

Rin turned away from him, but her legs were too weak and she started to fall. Sesshoumaru's arm wrapped around her shoulders and held her steady, her back to his chest. "You are no disgrace, Rin."

She heard his words but did not contemplate them. "I must be a disgrace. I am weak. I am worthless. I am…marked." She stared at the ground as the last of her words left her lips.

"He is dead. You are free of him."

"No!" Rin no longer thought before she spoke, the words just flowed from her. "His damn mark haunts me! He won! He knows he won! He laughs at me! He laughs every time my body freezes up, every time I'm scared, he laughs!"

Rin was shocked into silence as she felt Sesshoumaru lightly lean his forehead over her wet hair. Her breath froze in her lungs as she tried to understand what he was doing. He had held her before but she had always gone to him, scared or confused. He had never come to her.

"Rin," Sesshoumaru's voice sounded, tired, "do you hate me?"

"Never! Sesshoumaru-sama is perfect, I could no sooner hate the sun or moon."

He gently shook his head, not moving from her. "I am not perfect. I did not protect you."

"It is not Sesshoumaru-sama's fault for what happened. You were gone before they took me and the wind was not in my favor. There was no way you could know."

"Tell me, Rin," Sesshoumaru paused as Rin's body tensed beneath him, "tell me what happened to you."

Terrified, Rin reached up and grasped Sesshoumaru's arm. She had hoped and prayed that he would never ask her to tell him. "Please, please don't make me. I don't want to remember."

His grip on her shoulders tightened slightly. "Rin, answer me. What happened?"

Every part of her wanted to just run from him, run from everything, but she couldn't disobey him and before she realized it, she was speaking. "They came as I was getting fire wood. I wasn't even there when…when Ahun was killed. I ran, but, _he_ came after me."

"I was not gone long from there. Are you not angered I did not come?"

"Sesshoumaru-sama is swift. The fault is not yours."

"What happened after they took you?"

Rin took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "He broke my arm when he caught me. He…he would have done more but Haku, the black eyed demon, stopped him and took me to a camp filled with humans. Once we were there Haku told him that he could _play_ with me as long as I didn't die. He wanted to wait till you arrived."

"What did he do?" Sesshoumaru's voice was emotionless as always, yet somehow it comforted her slightly.

"He did nothing to me, not that night. I was tied up and he took another woman to kill her." She spoke as if a narrator to a play, slowly gaining a cold tone to story. "He came out afterwards, wiping her blood on me, laughing. Later that night a woman came to me, when the rest of the camp was asleep, and gave me some water. She could have been killed, but she came anyway. Somehow I fell asleep, or maybe I just passed out, I'm not sure."

She stopped, not wanting to remember the events of the following day, but a part of her forced the words from her mouth. "He woke me up by throwing water on me, then he tried to drown me. Ironic now, I suppose."

He lifted his head from hers. "What next?"

"He dragged me into the tent he had killed the woman in. Bones were everywhere and the smell was unbearable. That's when…that's when…" Rin couldn't say it.

"When what?"

"That's when…he bit me. I didn't know then what it meant, but now…"

Sesshoumaru's arm pulled her closer. "Are you angry, now that you know?"

"Only at the one who did it and at myself, no one else is at fault." She waited a moment then continued. "He tortured me then. Beating. Biting. Clawing. If it caused pain he did it, but the woman had told me not to scream. She said he would loss interest quicker if I didn't scream, so I didn't. No matter what he did I stayed silent. Sometimes it was so very hard." Rin's cold tone was fast disappearing as fear crept in.

"It didn't work quite as well as with the other women though. He got mad when I didn't scream so he increased the abuse. It hurt so much. I didn't know what to do, so I…I…I slapped him. It happened so quickly I didn't even realize what I had done, not till he got up." Tears streamed down her face, falling on Sesshoumaru's white haori. "He…got up and…he undressed. I moved back, but my arm, and my wounds…"

Rin's body shook and her fingers clenched his arm. "Were you frightened?"

"I was confused! I hadn't expected it. I don't know why I didn't. I should have, but I wasn't prepared. I…I didn't understand! He came at me and pushed me down." Her breathing became erratic as she remembered the scene.

"He raped you then?"

"It hurt…it hurt so very much." Rin saw the demon above her, felt him force through her body. "I couldn't stop from screaming. I had to scream."

"You screamed for help?"

"Yes! It hurt so much!"

"No one came to save you though."

"I couldn't stand the pain!"

"I wasn't there to save you."

Rin felt something in her snap. The memory too clear in her mind, the sound of her pleas for help, for Sesshoumaru. "Why didn't you come! Why didn't you stop him! I screamed and screamed and you didn't come! Why didn't you save me! He was taking me from you and you didn't stop him! You let him defile me! Why! Why!" Her screams came from her strong and forceful. She was saying what she never could, what she never let herself even feel.

"Did you hate me?"

"Yes! I hated you! You didn't stop him and I hated you for it! I hated you for leaving me! I hated you for not coming! I hated you for letting him take me away from you!" She wept and screamed terrified at her own words. "And I hated myself for hating you."

Sesshoumaru waited for Rin's sobbing to calm a bit. "What happened next?"

She took a deep breath trying to steady her voice. "He raped and tortured me more. I'm not sure what happened after that, I don't fully remember, only him laughing. I hated his laugh. When I was coherent again I was still naked, tied to the stake outside, with my hair butchered. Then she came back, that woman. She came and told me they would get me out. She told me I had to survive. I didn't want to though. I was tainted, why should I survive?

'Fire woke me the next day. He had thrown a torch on my legs and when I kicked it away he just threw it back. So I stood, I forced myself to stand so it couldn't lie on me. He just laughed again, he was always laughing. He held the fire to my side. It burned so much, I…I just couldn't take the pain. I kicked him! I had to get the fire away!" Rin was shocked to feel Sesshoumaru's body tense slightly, but he said nothing.

"He threw me and the stake I was tied to across the camp. It was painful, but I was able to free myself of the stake, though my arms were still tied behind me. He was coming at me, ready to kill me right there, but she stopped him. She attacked him to save me. They all did, all the women, they revolted and two of them dragged me away."

"The women saved you?"

"Yes, they were all willing to give up their lives to save me." She paused a moment. "I really am a horrible creature. They all died to save me and I just tried to kill myself. None of them cared for their own lives, only for mine, and I couldn't…I couldn't even live. I didn't deserve to be saved. They did! They deserved to live! Not me!"

"Rin," Sesshoumaru's voice was firm, "what happened after you escaped?"

"They tossed me into the river, hoping to hide my scent from the demons' senses. I don't know how long I was in the water, I almost drowned several times. I finally washed up onto shore and I tried to run, but I was so tired. I was in so much pain. All I could do was stand there and wait. I didn't wait long, he found me. He stabbed me in the stomach and dragged me back to the camp. I saw them burning before I died. All those people died because of me."

They were both silent for a moment. Tears still fell from Rin's eyes and she could feel Sesshoumaru's breath near her ear. Finally, he broke the uneasy stillness. "Rin, do you still hate me?"

She shook her tired head. "I could never hold hate in my heart for you. You have given me everything I needed. You restored me when I had no right to live. You kept me when I was nothing more than a burden to you. I cannot hate you."

"You have a right to hate me."

"I do not hate you. I hate only myself for being a curse upon you. I only wished to end the disgrace."

"You are no disgrace."

"Sesshoumaru-sama is kind to me, but he lies."

"You challenge me?"

"No, Sesshoumaru-sama, but I am a disgrace to you. I am polluted and powerless, in mind and body. I have no right to corrupt you with my presence." She tried to pull away but it was futile.

"Have you no trust in me?"

"I trust no one above Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Do you not believe I can protect you?"

"When you are with me I know I am safe, but you must go at times, and," Rin couldn't believe what she was saying, "when you are gone you cannot protect me nor can you stop the my fears."

"Then you fear being alone."

"I fear what could happen if I am alone. If not from another, then the ghosts in my mind."

She felt his face close the gap between them, his lips next to her left ear. "Then you will not be alone and I will free you from the monster that holds you." Rin's heart quickened its beat as Sesshoumaru's breath cascaded over her neck, stopping at the very place Akki had marked her. His smooth fangs brushed Rin's wet skin and rested lightly over her.

In one sharp move Sesshoumaru pierced her neck, blood pooling at the border between fang and skin. Rin didn't breathe. The pain was unlike anything she had felt before. When Akki had marked her it had been forced and harsh, he wanted to cause her pain, but this was fast and gentle. He was not trying to cause her pain, but even that which she did feel was not only pain, mixed in it was the strongest and purest of sensations, as if a part of him was entering her very soul.

Her fingers dug into his arm as her body pulsed with the most exquisite combination of pain and pleasure. Slowly, Sesshoumaru pulled out of her neck causing Rin to shudder. "Harm will never come to you again."

It took a moment for her to comprehend what he had just done. _He has marked me? Does that mean he wants me as his mate?_ Sesshoumaru gently turned her around and for the first time she was able to look him in the eyes. _He has accepted me._

He brought his hand to her face, tenderly brushing the wild strands of hair clinging to her skin. "Never will I leave you to suffer."

His voice showed no hint of emotion, even now, but something in her, something told her what he felt. It was like all her doubts had left her and she simply _knew_ what he felt even though he didn't show it. She could feel his care, his worry, as if they were her own emotions. They were overwhelming her, such strong, raw emotions. She buried her head into his haori and felt his arm reach around to hold her.

_How…how does he hide this? How does he keep such an expressionless face, when I can barely breathe?_ Rin's body relaxed against him, leaning in for support. With her suicide attempt, revealing her ordeal to Sesshoumaru, and his marking her, Rin's body and mind were exhausted. She closed her eyes and listened to his heart beating. The steady rhythm released the last of Rin's anxiety granting her a peaceful slumber in her mate's embrace.

Rin awoke the next morning with Ahun curled protectively around her and Jaken tending to a fire a few feet away. She sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Jaken hurried over to her and smiled an odd smile.

Rin stopped him from speaking. "I'm sorry." He looked at her slightly confused. "For throwing you last night, I'm sorry."

That odd smile returned to his face and he laughed. "That was nothing compared to what Sesshoumaru-sama has done before."

"Still, I shouldn't have done it."

"It doesn't matter."

Now Rin gave him a confused look. "Why are you being so nice? No, 'Of course you shouldn't, you stupid girl!' or, 'How dare you throw me!'? Nothing?"

"Why would I say that, Rin-sama?"

She started to respond but stopped. _Rin-sama?_ She slowly leaned down to Jaken placed a hand over his forehead. "Jaken-sama, are you sick? I could have sworn you just called me Rin-sama."

"Stupid human." Rin smiled, that was what she expected. "Of course I called you Rin-sama."

"Huh?" Now Rin was getting confused. "Why?"

"You are Sesshoumaru-sama's mate now. It would be improper to say your name without a title."

Rin smirked at Jaken, struggling to hide her laugher. "So now, you have call me Rin-sama. It doesn't sound right coming from you."

"What would you prefer, 'stupid girl?'"

"Well no, but Rin-sama just sounds weird."

"You will need to get used to it."

She leaned back against Ahun and petted his black mane. "I suppose so. Where is Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"Hunting for your breakfast."

Confusion returned to Rin's face. "Hunting for me? But I always get my own food."

"He is your mate now. The male is supposed to provide for the female."

"Again, weird." She looked into the fire for a moment thinking. "Jaken-sama, what is the female supposed to do? I rather figured a mate was like human's husband and wife."

"I suppose if you compare demons to humans then mates would be like a husband and wife. The male is supposed to provide for and protect his family. The female also protects her family should the male be away. She is the primary caretaker for their offspring and of course," Jaken looked away from Rin, "the mates have their duties to one another."

"Duties to one another," Rin said more to herself than Jaken.

"Yes, well, you will have to provide Sesshoumaru-sama with pups."

Rin ran her fingers through Ahun's mane and received an appreciative growl in response. Jaken seemed relieved that she did not inquire any further as he was slightly uncomfortable with the last part of their conversation. Rin herself, somewhat nervous, drifted off into her own thoughts.

_Sesshoumaru-sama has chosen me as his mate. He has accepted me as I am, even though another marked me._

_Sesshoumaru-sama is stronger than Akki. He killed Akki. His mark is the true one. I am _his_ and_ his _alone. Nothing Akki ever did to me can change that now. Sesshoumaru-sama will always take care of me. Demons will be careful not to harm me and incur his wrath._

_Haku took me _to_ incur his wrath, as his mate I am in even more danger. Who knows what kind of creatures will come after me now!_

_It doesn't matter, Sesshoumaru-sama is my mate now, he will protect me. It is his duty to protect his mate._

_Duty…I have a _duty_ to him. I have the duty to provide him with an heir._

_It will be a hanyou. Will he accept a hanyou? He couldn't accept his brother…can he accept a child I give him? A child that might have my weakness?_

_He accepted me, why would he not accept my…our child? It will not have my weakness, for it will have his strength. It will be his child…no, that's not what Jaken-sama said, it will be his pup. _

_Pup…yes, that sounds better. A child would be human, would be weak. A pup is better._

_But I must first conceive it. I must…_

_How can I do that? I can't do that. What if I have a flashback while…No! I can't do that! _Rin felt a sharp pain forming between her legs. _I don't want to know that horror again._

_Sesshoumaru-sama would never cause me pain. He would…be gentle. It is not supposed to be painful._

_But what if I remember. It hurts now just thinking of it. How will I ever be able to be with him like that? What kind of useless mate am I? _

Rin shift her legs in an attempt to relieve the pain that continued to grow. Her body was tense, and by the quick glances she got from Jaken, her anxiety had already filtered into her scent. Sometimes she hated living with demons; they could always smell emotions.

Jaken opened his mouth to say something when a small boar carcass landed in from of him causing him to jump back. "Prepare this, Jaken," Sesshoumaru said from his place at the edge of the clearing. "Rin, come with me."

"Of course." Rin stood up and straightened her slightly dirty kimono before going to Sesshoumaru. He led her through the forest, neither of them speaking a word to the other. Rin kept her eyes to the ground ashamed of her body's reactions.

_I am with Sesshoumaru-sama, my mate. Why am I tense? Why am I worried? Why am I…scared? He will not harm me._

_It is not harm I am afraid of. I am alone with my mate. I have duties to my mate. Will he be expecting me to…fulfill my duties to him?_

"Rin," Sesshoumaru's cold voice pulled her from her thoughts. "Why are you scared? Do you doubt my ability to protect you?"

"No, never, Sesshoumaru-sama. I feel safe with you."

He stopped and turned to her, his face bearing the same detached expression it always did. "You should not call me that anymore. Sesshoumaru will be sufficient." When she nodded her understanding he returned to the path he was walking with Rin in step behind him, her eyes staring at the ground again. "And do not lower your head."

She quickly looked up locking her focus on Sesshoumaru's back to keep from gazing at the ground. They walked on for several more minutes before finally emerging from the trees and into a picturesque meadow overlooking the vast countryside. Rin followed Sesshoumaru out, stopping beside him to stare at the land before her. As she strained her head to see the very far mountain peaks she felt Sesshoumaru's hand beneath her chin, gently pushing it up.

"Always keep your head up, Rin. You have nothing to be ashamed of." She looked up at him, his eyes cold yet radiant. He glanced to the scene before them not bothering to move his hand. "Does it please you?"

She tried to answer but his hand would not move to allow her mouth open. Rin straighten her back as much as she could and raised her chin up slightly more. "It does, Sesshoumaru-sa…Sesshoumaru."

"This land belongs to me, as my mate it belongs to you." Rin started to turn her head to the scene only to meet Sesshoumaru's hand again, stopping her halfway. "The Lady of the Western Lands should never lower her head to anyone."

Rin could feel her muscles tighten beneath her skin and mentally cursed herself for reacting to his touch in such a way. Never before had she so desired the ability to drop her gaze to the ground. Sesshoumaru brought his fingers to her chin and forced her to look at him. "Why are you afraid?"

"I fear only that I cannot be what you need."

"Explain."

Rin felt the pain in her abdomen return as Sesshoumaru gently forced her to continue staring at him. "A women has duties to her mate. I cannot accomplish those. I fear if I do…I will become afraid of _you_." She grabbed her kimono and pushed against her stomach hoping to ease the pressure.

"Rin." Sesshoumaru released her chin only to take hold of the wrist against her body. "You will not feel pain because of any desire I have."

She turned her now free head from him. "But I can never bear a pup for you if I do not."

"Do not believe that Jaken knows what I think." Rin was so shocked by his response she brought her head back up giving Sesshoumaru a chance to take her chin again. One clawed finger kept her face to him while the rest still held her wrist. "You said pup, so you must have talked to Jaken. I have no intention of bringing harm to you for any reason. You are young still, there is plenty of time for your fears to be laid to rest. Nothing will happen until you are ready."

By his voice the last statement was a command, almost harsh and demanding, and had he said anything to her like that before last night she would have been sure he was upset. At that moment, however, Rin's doubts left her again, her fears subsided and she could feel the compassion coming from him, the concern for her welfare.

Her face was graced with the first truly happy smile she had worn in months. "Thank you, Sesshoumaru."

He released both her wrist and face and turned to stare at the landscape. Rin understood, she wasn't sure how, but she did. He had said what he needed to, and with nothing more necessary, the conversation was over. Rin looked to the scene as well, taking in all that had been discussed.

"This is all mine now," Rin said. Sesshoumaru nodded. "The fates are mischievous."

"Why do you say that?"

"Yesterday they had me believing I was so worthless I had no right to even live, and today I am the Lady of the Western Lands. I have come to think they enjoy toying with my life, though, this time, I am pleased they did."

Sesshoumaru moved back to the forest. "Come Rin, your food should be ready."

She hurried to follow him. "Will you be hunting for me everyday from now on, Sesshoumaru. Jaken-sama said that it was the male's duty to provide for the female."

"Are you unable to retrieve your own food?"

"No, Sesshoumaru."

"Then there is no need for me to hunt for you. I merely wished to speak with you this morning. If you were off gathering your own food I would not have been able to."

"Of course."

They walked the rest of the way in silence but it was not uncomfortable as the last time. Rin did not lower her head once the entire way, she was content watching Sesshoumaru as he walked before her.

After that day life returned to a certain level of normalcy. Rin no longer was victim to daytime flashes and her nightmares became fewer and less severe. When she did have one Rin always woke to see Sesshoumaru next to her and in her heart she could feel the worry that he did not show.

The emotions were the most difficult thing to get used to. For the first few weeks after being marked Rin would suddenly feel something and realize it wasn't hers, yet Sesshoumaru showed no change in his indifferent demeanor. At times she became completely confused when she felt one thing and another emotion would come over her. As unnerving as it could be it also helped when she was scared or nervous and Sesshoumaru was sure and calm, his strength would relax her.

As the weeks changed to months and Rin suffered from none of her mind's torment she began to think of her _duty_ to Sesshoumaru. That alone still made her body freeze in terror, though it too was diminishing. Rin wondered how she would know when she would be ready. She didn't have to wonder for very long.

One evening as Rin bathed in a small, secluded hot spring, her hands pulling the water up her body, she remembered the night Sesshoumaru marked her. She ran her fingers over the mark on her neck and closed her eyes, reveling in the memory of his warm breath striking her skin. Just the memory sent a shiver down her spine.

She brought her finger to her chin and raised it slightly as Sesshoumaru had done before. She found herself searching for times when he had held her or touched her. She wanted to feel his hand against her skin again. Suddenly, Rin felt the strongest desire she had ever known, and had it not been for one thing she would never have been able to deny it. The desire, however, was _for_ her. It was Sesshoumaru's desire for her.

The realization shocked her so much Rin fell into the water. She pulled herself out from under the surface and smoothed down her now chin length hair. That was the first time Rin had felt his desire for her and the feeling terrified her, but not in the same way it had before. A few moments after the feeling came it quickly subsided. Rin's ire rose without warning.

_Can he just so quickly set me aside! If that had been my desire I wouldn't have been able to resist let alone send it away! How dare he just dismiss it like that!_

_What am I thinking? Would I have rather him come here and _act_ on his desire? No, something isn't right. This isn't me. I am not the one that is angry. He is angry._

_Why is he angry? Is he angry with me? Is he angry he _can't_ act on his desire? Is he angry he can't be with his mate the way he should be?_ Rin began trembling slightly.

_I am…scared. He isn't angry with me. He is angry with himself. I became scared when I felt his desire. He is angry that he made me frightened. He said he wouldn't hurt me because of his desire, but that is what terrified me. That's why I got mad at him._

_But I wasn't scared of it...I was scared _by_ it. I hadn't expected it._

Rin got out of the hot spring and dried herself off before putting on her kimono. She quickly made her way back to the camp. Jaken and Ahun were asleep and Sesshoumaru sat staring at the fire before him. He looked up when she first entered the area but then returned his gaze to the fire. His eyes may have been on the fire, but Rin knew his attention was on her, her actions, her scent. She knew he was checking to see if she was still scared or uncomfortable being near him.

She silently took her place next to Ahun. It was amazing how she had grown accustomed to having the beast next to her as she slept. His tail curled over her waist protectively and a part of Rin wondered what it would feel like to have Sesshoumaru next to her, arm lying over her body. She sneaked a glance at Sesshoumaru.

_Perhaps I am ready to be his mate. Tomorrow. I will speak with him tomorrow._

Rin leaned closely against Ahun and let herself drift off ready for the next day to come. The next day was not what she expected. Before she opened her eyes Rin smelled death near her. When she allowed herself sight she gazed down at a pool of blood beneath her, staining her blue kimono. She hurriedly turned around and gazed at Ahun, body split in two, heads severed.

Rin scrambled to her feet, screaming at the scene before her. She searched the small camp for Sesshoumaru and Jaken but saw neither. Her eyes were drawn back to the rotting carcass she had laid next to just moments before.

"Sesshoumaru! Sesshoumaru!" Rin cried out with all her might, slowly moving away from Ahun's body. Suddenly pain encompassed her foot but when she looked down nothing was there. Her head was swimming in confusion and the pressure pounded in her skull. She grabbed her head but found one arm wouldn't move. "Sesshoumaru!"

Terror filled her, but her own fear had taken hold the moment she awoke. Sesshoumaru was scared? "Rin!" She looked up struggling to find the source of his voice. The pulsing in her mind centered directly above her eyes and she thrust her free hand to them, pressing deeply in an attempt to relieve the strangling force. "Rin!"

She uncovered her eyes to find Sesshoumaru in front of her, his hand grasping one of her arms. She looked around the camp confused. Ahun stood behind Sesshoumaru straining to see her while Jaken stood atop one of his heads. Below her the fire was scattered on the ground and her foot was red and blistered. Terrified and confused Rin collapsed against Sesshoumaru's body and wept. She felt his arm wrap across her shoulders and pull her to his safe embrace.

Rin wasn't sure how long she cried to him but it was a longer reaction than to a normal nightmare. She had not suffered a dream that real in almost a year and nothing she thought up could explain why she suddenly did. As she slowly began to calm herself Rin began to feel the pounding return to eyes. Again she pressed into them but the pain wouldn't leave her.

Sesshoumaru pushed her away slightly. "Rin, what is wrong?"

"My eyes, it hurts right above my eyes."

"Look at me." She lifted her head and moved her hands but each time she tried to open her eyes they clamped shut, burned by the light of the morning sun. Sesshoumaru gently pulled one eyelid open causing Rin to cry out in pain. When he had examined both eyes Sesshoumaru allowed her to cover them again.

"Is there something wrong with them?" Rin asked when she had relieved enough pressure to speak without whimpering.

"They are black. Your eyes have changed color, they're completely black."

"Why!" The pain was too much and it stole Rin's control over her voice.

"I don't know."

Rin broke from his grasp and stumbled aimlessly about shaking her head. She had to stop the pain somehow. Sesshoumaru quickly took her back to him and held her as she writhed. She could feel his fear, anger, and most of all concern, but the pain overwhelmed them all.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," Jaken's voice came from in front of her but Rin couldn't tell exactly where, "we are not far from the demon Jinenji, he is well known for his medicines, maybe he will have something that can help Rin-sama."

There was no answer other than movement. Sesshoumaru mounted Ahun placing her in front of him and they were off. Rin couldn't tell time, seconds felt like hours to her, but finally she felt Ahun descending. Sesshoumaru gently helped her off after they had landed and she thought she heard Jaken run off somewhere.

A new voice was heard somewhere nearby and Sesshoumaru directed her towards it. She felt another person place a large hand on her shoulder and Sesshoumaru turn her. "Can you open your eyes?"

Rin shook her head violently and refused to move her hands when the man tried to push them aside. She fought the man's attempts until she felt Sesshoumaru's hand take her wrists and pull them down. The man forced her eyes open but instead of feeling the painful light Rin was able to see, and what she gazed up at made her shriek. She ripped from everyone that held her and moved away struggling to open her eyes again and confirm what she saw.

Finally, she managed to keep her eyes open long enough to look around. Haku and Akki stood near her, both with smiles on their faces. Haku approached her and she moved back more only to crash to the ground in pain. Her right leg was twisted at an unnatural angle beneath her and her arms were bound at the wrists in front of her. Haku reached down and pulled her up by her haphazardly formed hair. He looked at her but spoke to his brother. "What did you do to her? It's like she didn't even realize she was here."

Akki laughed and joined his brother. "She didn't, niisan, you just woke her up." He looked directly at Rin. "Did you have a nice dream? What was it this time? Were you rescued? Or maybe you had never been taken? Which was it, Rin?"

She struggled to push her voice from her throat but only managed a hoarse, airy whisper. "You are dead. This isn't real."

The brothers laughed together. "Niisan, do you know the best way to remind her that this is quite real?"

The brother stood up and stepped back. "Do tell, otouto."

Akki pushed Rin onto her back and removed a dagger from his belt. He slid the cold metal down her neck and to her right shoulder. "Pain. Pain is always real. Right, Rin?"

He thrust the dagger into her right bicep and dragged it down the length of her arm. Rin screamed in agony. Her eyes clouded with tears and her breath tried to hide in her lungs.

"Sesshoumaru! Sesshoumaru!" She couldn't stop her pleas from leaving her.

Akki took her face in his hand and bent down to lick a few drops of blood from her cheek. "You still call for him after all these weeks. Do you really think he is going to come for you? Niisan has even told me I can kill you if I please. Your Sesshoumaru is never coming back."


	6. Truth

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from InuYasha.

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"Rin! Rin!" Jaken watched as his master called out to the unconscious woman cradled in his arm. Sesshoumaru was visibly worried about his mate and Jaken knew that wasn't a good sign.

"Please, Sesshoumaru-sama, let me examine her." Jinenji looked into her eyes and checked her body but even he seemed dumbfounded.

Jaken stood near Ahun who whimpered into his muzzles. He petted the beast's foot understanding its worry. He couldn't say he had always liked Rin, but she was Sesshoumaru's mate and almost always kind to him. Most of all, she had suffered enough, she didn't deserve any more torment.

"Sesshoumaru! Sesshoumaru!" Rin's cries pierced the souls of all who heard. Sesshoumaru pulled her closer and called back but nothing worked to free her.

Suddenly the wind shifted and a new scent came with it. Jaken was sure he had smelled something like it before but couldn't place it. Sesshoumaru did though and he called out to Jaken and Ahun as he laid Rin's body on the ground, "Stay with her." He stood and walked forward, removing Tokijin from his waist.

"My, my, Sesshoumaru, what a way to greet the person who can help your precious mate." A woman appeared before them. She had bright red hair down to her waist and wore a green shinobi outfit, but it was her eyes that nearly made Jaken fall backwards. Her eyes were pitch black and he was finally able to place her scent.

"Speak, leave, or die." Sesshoumaru's cold demeanor had returned.

She laughed a dark, harsh laugh. "I shall speak and then you will kill me. That's the way it's destined to be, and I'm fine with that. You see I know what ails your mate for I'm the one who ordered it to be done."

Sesshoumaru raised Tokijin and Jaken could see energy sparking at the tip. "You will die."

"As I said, I'm fine with death, but are you so careless to kill me before learning how to relieve the human of her suffering?" Sesshoumaru made no move, neither towards nor away from the woman. "Good. Since after I tell you I'll die let me first explain why the human must suffer. It is all…your…fault…Sesshoumaru," the woman emphasized each word.

"Do not waste my time."

"Or what, you'll kill me? We've already decided that's going to happen, so be a good boy and listen." Jaken heard a low growl escape his master's throat. "This is my revenge for my brothers whom you slain. I'm not as strong as them, but I'm smarter." She shook her head slightly. "My brother's never knew when enough was enough, but none the less I cannot let their deaths go unavenged. So you see, this is your fault for killing them."

"Such insults as theirs and yours do not go unpunished."

"Yes, but Haku wouldn't have involved the woman if Akki hadn't have been there. He most likely asked Haku for her and then Haku saw the chance to make you mad. Like I said they weren't smart, but, unlike them, I make up for my lack of strength with wits. Thus, knowing any challenge against you would only result in my death, the only way to avenge my kin is to hurt something you care for. And you even gave me a human mate as a target, I must thank you."

"If you do not say something of value I will kill you now."

"All right. The woman is under a curse by a black miko. The curse is unbreakable and permanent. Your mate will experience her greatest fear, which, according to the miko that cast the curse, is that everything she experienced was a dream and she would wake to my brothers. I assure you though, this is not just a dream or illusion for her. If she dies in her mind her body will follow. If you should revive her with that pretty little sword of yours the curse will begin again and she will have to suffer anew. Killing the miko will not stop the curse and there's no power strong enough to break a spell that feeds off the victim's own mind."

Jaken couldn't believe what he had heard. He ran to Sesshoumaru's side and pointed the Staff of Heads towards the woman. "You vile wench! If nothing can end the curse how do you plan for us to stop her pain?"

"Jaken!" Anger burned in Sesshoumaru's glare and Jaken hurried back to his place next to Rin.

The woman laughed again. "Haven't you figured it out? The only way you can end her misery is to kill her yourself." She stared directly into Sesshoumaru's eyes. "Kill your mate and release her of the torment."

Tokijin responded for him, tearing through the woman's skull, between her breasts and legs, and enveloping her remains in the force of Sesshoumaru's rage. Nothing was left of the woman save a few specks of dust falling to the damp earth.

Sesshoumaru returned Tokijin to his waist only to unsheathe Tenseiga. He approached Rin's body, which twitched and jerked over the grass. Jaken watched as close as he could but didn't see the sword pulse as it had the other times Sesshoumaru had used it. Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed and he gazed intently on his mate. In one swift motion the sword pierced and left Rin's body without leaving a mark. Everyone waited to see if there was any change.

Her body was no longer convulsing but Jaken knew Tenseiga hadn't helped. The odor of salt and the sobs fleeing her throat were strong to his senses. Not even Tenseiga was strong enough, but was there really no way to help her? Sesshoumaru picked her up off the ground and turned to Jinenji. "Do you have anything to put her body to rest?"

"Yes, but nothing that can stop the curse."

"Get your medicine." Jinenji went to his field as Sesshoumaru took her to the small hut with Jaken hurrying after.

He entered and cautiously approached his master who knelt next to Rin's body. "Sesshoumaru-sama, what do you intend to do to help Rin-sama?" Jaken awaited an answer but received none. Sesshoumaru continued to look down at her, his mind lost in thought. _Could he be considering killing Rin? Wouldn't it be better for her if he did?_

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Rin held her bleeding arm to her naked body and struggled to restrain her tears. Akki and Haku continued to watch her with amusement as she tried to figure out what was happening.

_This can't be real! It must be a nightmare! A horrible nightmare! I am with Sesshoumaru! I am his mate! I am the Lady of the Western Lands!_

_But the pain! The pain is so much, so real._

_No! This can't be real! Sesshoumaru would not leave me! He would not leave his mate!_

_Fool! It was a dream, he never rescued me! He never cared for me! He never marked me! The castle, Saka, Touya…I made them all up. They aren't real! This is the reality! This is the truth!_

"No! You aren't real!" Rin forced herself off the ground regardless of the pain in her destroyed leg. "None of this is real!"

"Otouto, I don't believe you have convinced her."

Akki smiled and pulled her against him, his breath billowing over her cheek. "Then I shall have to try again. If pain does not convince you, perhaps pleasure will. I do enjoy hearing you call for me in ecstasy."

Rin's body tensed and trembled in his arms. "You're the one dreaming. I'll never call for you. You're a bastard who was killed by Sesshoumaru."

"Is that what you think? Amazing that just last night you begged me to take you. The noises you made while I was with you were intoxicating." He ran his tongue over her lips. Shocked, Rin drew in breath allowing Akki access to her mouth. He took his time, slowly exploring her mouth with his tongue before releasing her from the forced kiss. "Ask me again. Ask me again and I will give you pleasure tonight instead of pain."

Rin had felt Sesshoumaru's anger rise to unbearable levels before, but never had his gone as far as her rage did at that moment. She stopped trembling, raised her head, and spat right into Akki's eyes. "I am Sesshoumaru's and Sesshoumaru's alone. Do not touch me again."

Both Akki and Haku were shocked by her outburst. Akki released her and slowly wiped her saliva from his face as a growl grew within his throat. "Have you forgotten who you are woman? Must I teach you your place again?"

"You are not real, nothing you can do will change that."

"We will see about that." He grabbed the rope tying Rin's wrist and yanked causing her to lose her balance. Since Akki still held the ropes, her body half hung by her arms, of which, Rin quickly realized, her left was still broken. "Niisan, would you be so kind as to get me my whip?"

"I suppose I will. It will be interesting to see how long this woman clings to her illusionary world." Haku went into one of the tents as Akki dragged her to the edge of the camp.

Rin looked around and found all the bandits and women were still alive. Almost all, the woman who had helped her, the woman she thought had helped her, was strung up by her neck and swayed in the passing wind. Akki brought her to a pillar, which looked to be an uprooted tree thrust into the ground, and placed her bound arms around a tall branch so that her feet were off the ground. He pushed her body till it was a few inches from the bark before going to one of the small fires and grabbing a burning log. He placed several of them at Rin's feet but far enough not to set the pillar ablaze. Rin struggled not to cry out as the flames began lapping at the tender skin.

"Otouto, your woman will never walk again the way you treat her." She couldn't see them, but behind her Rin could hear metal hitting metal.

"She doesn't need to. I'll kill her when she no longer provides me with entertainment." She heard leather snap and the clinking of metal again. "Now Rin, beg me to stop and I will. Beg me and tell me you will do anything I say."

The leather snapped again but this time she felt the metal hooks at the whip's end dig into her back. With a quick tug by Akki they ripped through her flesh and returned to him. The force of the impact shoved Rin forward embedding pieces of bark into her torso.

"Beg me, Rin!"

"Go to hell!"

The whip struck her back again and Rin could hear the blood cracking as it dripped into the fire beneath her. Akki continued to strike her, increasing the force with every lash of the whip. Rin knew her back was completely mutilated and cries of pain leapt from her throat but she did not beg and Akki did not stop.

Suddenly, the pain in her head returned. It focused above her eyes and consumed her thoughts, nothing was more painful at that moment than the pulsing in her skull. She forced her eyes open, hoping to see something past the burning light. As she stared forward, beyond the pillar she was hanging from, across the camp, right at the line of the trees, stood Sesshoumaru and Jaken. A smile graced her pain stricken face as she focused on her mate.

_He has come. He will call out and I will wake up now. This is a dream and he will be there to comfort me._

"Sesshoumaru," Rin whispered no longer feeling the pain of Akki's whip.

He stared back at her but made no move and spoke no words. Rin waited for his voice to call her out of the nightmare but all he did was stare as her body beat against the pillar. Her smile began to falter. "Sesshoumaru. Please…Sesshoumaru!"

Somewhere behind her she heard Akki laughing. "Stop calling to him. He isn't coming for a worthless whore."

As if hearing Akki's words Sesshoumaru turned from her and walked into the forest. Jaken looked to her one last time before following his master.

Rin entire body was filled with an indescribable pain that was neither physical nor mental. She felt as if her very soul was shattered and nothing could restore it.

_No! He can't have left! He wouldn't leave me! I am his mate, he wouldn't leave me!_

_I am a demon's whore! That is the truth! Sesshoumaru saw that. He left me because I am wretched and disgusting! That was the real Sesshoumaru! This is the real world!_

_No! It can't be! This can't be real!_

_It is! Sesshoumaru has left me! I don't deserve to live! _

_If this is real, then I will let Akki kill me now. I cannot exist without Sesshoumaru._

Rin lowered her head and watched as the pool of blood beneath her grew. She no longer screamed, though the pain was excruciating. Nothing could compare to her grief. After a few moments of her silence Akki stopped whipping her. He approached her and checked to see if she was still alive.

"Damn woman, you're more stubborn than anything. Fine, hang here all night. I'll even keep the fire going to make sure you don't get cold." He turned and left her alone against the pillar.

Tears fell from her eyes and she couldn't stop her sobs from escaping her chest. She cried for hours knowing only the pain of her reality. Knowing Sesshoumaru wouldn't return for her.

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Jaken held Ahun's reigns and slowly led the melancholy beast behind their master. Jaken could barely believe Sesshoumaru had left Rin and not killed her. He could still see the scene in his mind.

_Rin stared up at Sesshoumaru as he stood at the hut's entrance, almost as if she could truly see him. Her weakened voice called out his name and Sesshoumaru just stared back at her. She called again, pleading for something, but Sesshoumaru turned and left the hut. Jaken couldn't help but look one more time at the terrified woman before following him out._

They had hunted down the black miko that cursed Rin but she couldn't undo the spell. Sesshoumaru surprised Jaken again by not killing the woman. Instead, Sesshoumaru tied her up and left her in the cave she had been saying she would suffer as Rin did. Jaken had not heard what happened to Rin, though he knew that she had at one point told Sesshoumaru, so he could only speculate what that had meant.

Sesshoumaru now walked before them, quieter than Jaken had ever seen him and Sesshoumaru rarely spoke before. Jaken could only imagine what he must have been thinking about. This was the third time Rin had suffered greatly and the demon woman had blamed Sesshoumaru directly for this one. Though Sesshoumaru probably blamed himself for the kidnapping, it had never been said, at least not that Jaken knew. But would it not have been kinder to Rin to kill her?

Sesshoumaru stopped at the edge of a dense wood and turned to Jaken. "Remain here. Do not come after me for any reason."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama." Jaken watched his master enter the woods and disappear from sight.

Something about the land made Jaken uneasy but it wasn't until Ahun wandered off that he realized why. He chased after the beast and found him in a small clearing next to a river. Ahun was whining beneath his muzzles as he wandered the area. This was where Rin was taken from. Jaken looked back to the forest Sesshoumaru had gone into.

"Why have you returned here, Sesshoumaru-sama?"

Suddenly a loud crash was heard from the forest, as if several trees had been felled at once. More crashes were heard followed by a terrifying roar. Jaken waited next to Ahun, staring at a dark green cloud forming in the distance.

"Sesshoumaru-sama is worse than I thought, Ahun. It would have been better if he had never met Rin. Then neither of them would have had to suffer."

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Rin was still crying when the pain came to her. Never had she felt such unbridled rage and sorrow. It was as if a torrent of raw emotions were tearing through her, each a hundred times worse than her grief of Sesshoumaru leaving. She screamed and cried hoping to expel the feelings from her but they only increased.

_Why am I feeling this? What is it? Why won't it stop? Such sorrow! Such grief! Such hatred! I need to stop them! What is happening?_

A warm fluid began flowing down her chest. Rin struggled to turn her head and look down. _Blood? But I stopped bleeding long ago._ She watch the new stream as it made its slow way down her body. She concentrated and felt its origin.

_The mark? It is where the mark was. I don't understand._

The pulse returning to her eyes drowned the searing emotions. She looked down at her body again, and stared at the trail of blood. Her gazed widened as she saw no wounds beneath the blood where directly beside were large gashes and scars.

_What…what is happening?_

The wrath of the undying emotions returned anew and fought the pain in her eyes. The battle within her body was driving her to the brink of madness and Rin couldn't bear it any more. She lifted her head up and slammed it against the pillar before her. Blood trailed down the uneven bark in front of her eyes and the pain began to subside. She looked again to the course taken by the fluid from her shoulder. The more it covered her chest the less wounds she saw.

Rin began laughing, whether from insanity or understanding didn't matter, her decision was made. She lifted her battered legs to the pillar and pushed. Pain scorched every nerve, but her body had long since grown accustomed to it, allowing her to continue. Slowly, the rope began moving away from the main body of the pillar. She pushed and stretched her broken and burned limbs to their limits, then she forced them further.

With one final thrust of her legs Rin was thrown onto the hard ground below. The sorrow consumed her once again and she had to wait for it to subside before she moved. When she was able, Rin brought her mutilated body to stand. Her burned feet and broken leg did not want to support her but she wouldn't let them stop her. One step. Two steps. Three steps. Her speed was horrible but she was moving.

One of the bandits that had been asleep woke as she passed him. His eyes opened wide in shock as she shuffled across the camp. She didn't even try to stop him from saying anything, it was a waste of strength. The man stood up and grabbed her arm, without even thinking Rin pulled the man over her shoulder as Touya had taught her and continued on. Several other bandits were waking now, each stopping to stare at her as she continued her journey out of the camp. She was headed to where Sesshoumaru had left hoping to find a way out of her nightmare.

With the commotion in the camp Akki and Haku soon came out to check up on her. Even the demons stared at her for a moment in disbelief. Akki stormed forward and was about to grab her arms when a wave of rage and hatred hit Rin. She threw herself forward and wrapped the rope binding her wrists around his neck. She jumped slightly, bringing her knees onto his chest and pushed against him, choking him. Haku hurried to grab his bladed staff as Akki struggled to free himself of Rin. The more he struggled and ripped at her the stronger her hold on him became.

"I thought I warned you not to touch me again! No one disgraces the Lady of the Western Lands!" Rin screamed at him with all the hatred she had in her body.

Haku rushed to aid his brother, so Rin began throwing her weight to force Akki into chaotic motions. No matter what he tried, Haku couldn't hold his brother steady enough to free him of Rin. As Akki's body started to lose its strength, slowing his movements, Haku raised his blade to strike Rin. She watched and waited. When the blade began its swing she pushed her feet off of Akki forcing her body above his. Haku's attack struck Akki across the chest, killing him immediately. As his body fell backward Rin unwrapped herself from his neck and used the momentum to propel her body into a run.

Haku rushed to his brother's body as Rin made her escape through a camp of stunned and scared humans. No one tried to impede her dash and she soon made it to the woods. Her body cried out for her to stop but the rage still consumed her and she used it. She had no idea where she was going but thought the river was nearby. If she could get there perhaps she could escape. Behind her a deafening cry of grief was heard and she knew Haku would come for her soon.

_I just have to make it to the river! Just make it to the river! You damn body just make it…_

Rin barely had time to stop before falling into the abyss before her. She knew that hadn't been there before and when she looked down it seemed endless. She turned around as she heard Haku rushing through the forest. Her eyes gazed back slightly to see the abyss. She took a step back to the very edge. Haku was getting closer, and his screams for her life were loud in Rin's ears.

As she contemplated her choices the sorrow returned and absorbed her reason. She smiled and closed her eyes.

_Sesshoumaru, I will return to you._

With that thought in her mind Rin took the last step into the abyss. She felt the force of the fall against her body, the wind slapping her hair against her face. It was getting stronger, the abyss was diminishing, contracting towards her. The pressure surrounded her. It entered her body and continued in, searching.

She felt her soul being suffocated. It threatened to break her very being but the sorrow of her mate still lingered, giving her strength she never knew she had. With the force of every emotion that was infused in her, those of herself and those given to her though the mark on her neck, Rin fought back. Suddenly, she felt something break within herself.

Rin's eyes shot open as she forced her body up. Her chest heaved with the strength of her breathing and her hands shook slightly. She brought her fingers to the mark on her neck and found it wet with blood. The front of her blue kimono was stained an odd shade of purple because of it. Even though the pain of her mate still held her heart tight Rin couldn't help but laugh.

_I am free. I freed myself. I was able to stop my demons on my own. I am not weak. I am not worthless. I…I am deserving of my mate. _

_I will find you, Sesshoumaru. I will not let you feel such pain._

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Have I not redeemed myself! Do you see now, _why_ she had to go through that? If she had never gone through that she never would have realized her own strength. Oh, and just wait, I am not sure if there will be one or two more chps, I am thinking two, though they will both prolly be about this length. Not as long as the last few I had, but still decent length. Rin kicked major ass in this chp, so much fun.


	7. Journey

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from InuYasha.

Oh, I use the term 'hime' in this chp, it means princess.

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Rin slowly stood, finding her body incredibly stiff, but compared to everything she had been through a little stiffness was nothing. She looked around the room attempting to figure out what had transpired before she succumbed to whatever it was that took control of her. It was a small, one room hut containing nothing more than a futon, some tools for grinding and mixing herbs, and a fireplace.

_This is Jinenji's hut. I remember it from when I came to help Jaken-sama. Was I left here? Where is Sesshoumaru? I must find Sesshoumaru._

She pushed away the thin cloth separating the hut from the outside world and stepped out to survey the land. A field of herbs grew just outside the hut and by the sun's position it looked to be past mid-day. No one was in sight though, not Sesshoumaru, not Jaken, not even Jinenji. A wave of grief hit Rin fiercer than any force in her nightmare, and she fell to her knees as it filled her.

_Where is everyone? Where is anyone! I need to find Sesshoumaru._

_If I wait here Jinenji will eventually return. He may be able to tell me where Sesshoumaru went._

_I can't wait! I need to find him now! Just go!_

Rin's body obeyed the orders given by the emotions not caring that reason was a better course. The only thing she understood was that the suffering needed to end, for everyone. She pulled herself off the ground and tried to decide which way to go. Drawing in a deep breath, Rin closed her eyes. The sound of her heart echoed in her ears and as it slowed its beating pulse by pulse, Rin prayed.

_Sesshoumaru, how am I supposed to find you? I need to be with you. I need to end the pain you are in. Where are you?_

Suddenly, between the poundings of her heart Rin heard another beat. She grabbed her chest and released the air in her lungs. It had pulsed as if it were her own, yet so different Rin knew it could never be a part of her. Everything seemed to change with that one foreign strike, which she knew so well; Rin looked to the south knowing he had gone there. No reason could justify it, no logic could explain it, she simply knew.

Without hesitation Rin began running. It amazed her how quick and strong her body was when no wounds diminished its power. She ran on for hours, not stopping even to rest, and the sun was beginning its decent beneath the horizon when Rin came upon a small village. She slowed just so she wouldn't run into people as she made her way through the street.

As soon as she entered the village she could hear people whispering and staring at her, which only increased as she began asking person after person if they had seen a silver-haired dog demon pass the area. Several of the men began eyeing the blood-stained mark on her neck, some with contempt, others with lust. As she continued through the village she approached a middle-aged man holding the reigns to a black stallion.

"Excuse me, please, have you seen a demon pass this area in the last day or so? A dog demon, with silver hair and makings on his face?"

The man examined her blue silken robes embedded with gold embroidery and then at the dried blood covering the mark. "Listen, why don't you just get out while you can. We don't want a demon's whore in our village. Just go."

Rin had heard this before, from herself, from Akki, and before she probably would have left without another word, but she wasn't the same as a day ago. He had called her, _her_, the Lady of the Western Lands, nothing more than a whore. Rin felt her blood begin to boil with anger, her own anger, not Sesshoumaru's. It had taken her a year to convince herself she was _not _just a demon's whore and she wasn't going to let this human man get away with such a disgrace.

Her face mirrored Sesshoumaru's cold façade as she took hold of the stallion's reigns with her left hand and stepped closer to man, her head raised to look down on him. She ripped the leather strap from his grip and moved forward again, forcing him backward. "No one speaks to me in such a way."

"And who do you think you are? A whore that is dressed like a noble is still just a whore." The man tried to press forward to intimidate her, but she refused to back down.

Rin slipped her right leg behind the man's ankles remembering her lessons from Touya. She lifted her right hand to his chest and pushed. The combination of her pushing above and pulling from below forced the man to the ground. As he struggled to get up Rin mounted the stallion and looked down at him. "I am the Lady of the Western Lands. This horse shall be compensation for your insults and if you do not dare to open your foul mouth again I will not speak of this incident to my mate, Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands."

She didn't even wait for a response before gently kicking the stallion's flank and galloping out of the village. She looked back only once and was pleased to see she had no pursuers. A smile graced her lips as she realized what she had just done.

_I just called myself the Lady of the Western Lands. I told him I was Sesshoumaru's mate and I was proud of it. I am no longer weak and helpless. Sesshoumaru will be pleased when I tell him I didn't lower my head. I must remember to tell him._

At the thought of her mate Rin felt the sorrow return. It never truly left anymore, but at times she could diminish its effect on her by focusing on something else. She had begun to pick out one specific emotion that tore at her more than everything else. It wasn't anger, or sorrow, or grief, but a subtle and piercing sense of guilt. No matter what emotions flowed from the mark she always felt guilt enhancing the pain.

As the horse ran on Rin tried to imagine Sesshoumaru's face. It would be cold, detached, his mouth would be closed casually as if the world didn't have a single thing important enough for him to speak of. His golden eyes would never look away from the direction he traveled, yet they would observe everything around him. Nothing would escape his keen senses but neither would anything upset the impenetrable shroud that covered his face.

But inside, inside Rin knew he was seething in agony. She felt the pain and contempt that would never mar his perfect face. She understood his sorrow and guilt like no one else ever could. She saw the horrors that he hid so well.

Rin struck the animal's flank again hurrying it on through the dark fields as the moon began its perilous climb across the sky. Exhaustion would not impede her journey nor would she let anyone, demon or human, delay her from ending her mate's invisible suffering.

She rode on through the night, letting her emotions guide her through the unfamiliar landscape. The horse began to slow so Rin dismounted, keeping hold of the reigns, and led the stallion on. It was slower than if she had rode but this way it could take a rest from her weight. She would need its full speed when morning came and the region was clear to her sight.

Rin's own stamina was a shock to her, after running, riding, and then walking constantly, when the morning's light opened the lands to her Rin was still strong and alert. She quickly mounted the stallion, forcing it to run non-stop again. Just before mid-day came Rin saw a village in the distance and directed the beast to it.

She received as hospitable a welcome in this village as she had in the previous one, though none spoke directly to her. She rode through the streets for a few minutes looking about in search of some food to barter for but many of the merchants covered their goods as she passed. Rin's ire was rising again. _What do these people know of me!_

Just as she figured it would be quicker to hunt for her food she heard a young woman's voice behind her. "Miss, are you looking for something?"

Rin turned to see a woman no older than herself, she had a basket full of fruit in her arms and a smile danced on her face. "Yes, some food to barter for. I am in a hurry."

"Please, Father will be more than happy to have a customer." The woman motioned for her to follow.

Rin tugged on the reigns and soon they were at the entrance of a medium sized hut. The woman motioned for Rin to tie the stallion to the post and join her inside. She complied but not before passing a wary glance about the street.

"Father. Father, I have a customer with me."

A man slightly further than middle age, came from a back room and smiled at them both. It would have been obvious they were related even if she hadn't known, the smile was exactly the same. The man approached Rin warmly. "Welcome, I am Shijin Akito. How can I help you?"

"I am in need of food that is light in weight and won't spoil quickly. I also have no time so it must be available immediately. If you have one to trade I could also use a small dagger for hunting."

He stared at her slightly shocked. "You are traveling alone? Have you no servants to take care of hunting and gathering food."

Rin couldn't stop herself from laughing so she let it out full force. Both father and daughter looked at her confused. "May I ask what you think I am?"

The woman looked to her father before answering. "By your dress I took you as a princess."

She looked down at her kimono, carefully brushing some dirt from the blue silk. "I suppose I am. I need to remember that." The confusion only deepened in her hosts' faces. "Forgive me, it is just a passing thought, pay it no attention. To answer your question, I am quite capable of tending to myself, though I am lacking of supplies at the moment."

Akito seem content to leave it at that and sent his daughter into the back to retrieve the food. He was digging into a small trunk for the dagger as he continued to talk with Rin. "Hime-sama," Rin smiled at the show of respect, "since you are not asking for much on such short notice the supplies won't cost much at all."

The man returned to Rin with a small dagger in his hand. "Actually, I have no money to give you. As I said to your daughter, I am here to barter."

"What do you have in mind?"

Rin held her arms out allowing him a full view of her kimono. "This is made of the finest silk and laced with gold. It will fetch a far greater price than what I ask for, I merely have no time to go sell it."

He examined the fabric and seemed content till his eyes passed over the collar where the blood had stained the cloth. His eyes widened as he looked on the wound and Rin thought he was going to reject her offer when he suddenly called back to his daughter, who was still in the other room, "Musume, prepare a basin of fresh water and rags."

"Yes, Father."

He smiled at Rin again. "We will get that cleaned up for you, Hime-sama. I hope one of Musume's kimonos will do as a replacement."

Rin found herself smiling back at the man. "Yes, that will be just fine. I simply must hurry on."

"If it isn't out of my place, may I ask what you are in such a rush for?"

"I am searching for my mate. He is much faster than I am so I must hurry if I want to catch up." Rin was surprised at how easy it was to speak of her mating to Sesshoumaru now, when she would have been too ashamed of herself to even think it a few months ago.

"Your mate?"

Rin nodded. She didn't want to alienate such a kind man by telling him she was bound to a demon, but she also refused to hide that fact. She was not embarrassed of Sesshoumaru. "I am mated to a demon lord. He is wonderful to me, but I was hurt. I believe he thought me to be dead and left me with the healer I had been taken to." Rin ran her fingers over the mark on her neck. "If it hadn't been for the mark he gave me I _would_ have died."

"It sounds like you love him very dearly."

Rin closed her eyes. _Love? Have I ever actually said that I love Sesshoumaru? I have just always been with him, it felt natural to stay that way._ A serene smile enhanced Rin's quiet beauty. "Yes, I do love him, more than words could ever begin to say." She looked to the man now holding a plain green kimono before her. "Are you not disgusted that a human would mate a demon?"

He gave her the kimono and directed her to the backroom. "I cannot say it's something I would do, but I can't deny such a beautiful woman something that makes her smile as you just did."

Musume met them at the doorway and handed her father the food before leading Rin to a small cushion lying near a basin of water. "I will leave while you change. Call me in once you are done, I still need to fill some water containers for you."

"There is no need," Rin said and began disrobing. "I take speed over modesty. Do what you must."

Carefully, Rin folded the silk kimono and set it next to the cushion. She began washing the blood from her neck when she heard a something crash to the ground behind her. "I can't believe I forgot! Hime-sama, what type of demon are you looking for?"

Rin's heart stopped in her chest. "A dog demon. He has silver hair, and markings on his face." She waited to hear the woman's response, begging it to be confirmation of Sesshoumaru.

"Oh." Rin needed nothing more to know it wasn't. "Forgive me, Hime-sama, I had seen a demon two days ago, but it was not that."

"I see." Rin failed to hide her disappointment.

Musume gave a slight chuckle. "Actually I would have been very surprised if it was the one you were looking for. He was so small and reminded me of some kind of toad."

Rin nearly tipped the basin as she jumped and bolted to Musume, not caring at all that she still had no clothes on. "Did he carry a staff with two heads at the top?"

She nodded. "Are you looking for him as well?"

Rin stumbled back to the cushion and collapsed in a mixed fit of laughter and sobs. Musume approached but didn't try to stop the unusual reaction. "Hime-sama? Are you well?"

Rin forced herself to take a deep breath and calm down. "Very well. The one you saw travels with my mate. I know for sure that I am on the right path now. Please, do you know where he was going?"

"He was heading to the southeast, the only thing that way is a shrine some ten miles from the village."

Rin quickly finished cleaning off her shoulder and re-dressed. It was not much of a lead, but perhaps the monks at the shrine has seen Sesshoumaru pass by. When she was ready to leave Musume handed her two containers of water. Both father and daughter escorted her to the stallion, which seemed quite happy to have rested.

"I feed him while you changed, it wasn't much but it should hold him over for a while. The food is in a bag on the back of the saddle and should last you at least three or four days depending on how much you eat. I also put in some feed for the horse."

Rin bowed to them both before mounting the stallion. "Thank you for everything. You don't know how much you have helped me."

They bowed back. "It was our pleasure, Hime-sama."

"Rin." They looked at her confused. "My name is Rin."

"Good-luck, Rin-sama," Musume said smiling. "To get to the shrine just take the left path when you come to the fork in south road. It will take you directly there."

With a nod to them and a kick to the horse Rin was off and out of the village. As before she forced the stallion to its limits, and they reached the shrine shortly after the sun centered itself in the now clouded sky. She tied the reigns to the shrine entrance and quickly hurried to find whoever resided there.

She searched every room in the shrine but found no one there. The grounds were not as clean as they should be and it looked as if no one had been there for several days. Disappointed, Rin returned to her horse and decided to press further south having no other clue to Sesshoumaru's whereabouts. As the day progressed the skies became darker and soon the sun was completely blocked from view. Rin knew it would rain but wasn't going to stop her search.

As expected the water quickly escaped the heavens' grasp, attacking both rider and horse. At first it was cold and slightly painful to feel the impact of the rain, but the shower quickly turned into a torrent, releasing the winds to aid the endless downpour. Still, Rin pressed on, forcing the stallion further into the storm's core. Lightning illuminated the dark clouds protecting the pristine sky above it, and thunder cackled at the earth below, taunting Rin's exhausting efforts.

The stallion cried out at the terrors surrounding it and reeled back hoping for escape. Rin's grip on the reigns, however, was firm and she pressed the frightened animal forward. Somewhere near them was a haven from the elements; she couldn't explain how she knew, but she did. As the lightning showered the land with light once more Rin caught sight of a cave and hurried the beast to it. The stallion needed no directions to enter, it was more than happy to leave the fury behind them.

Rin dismounted and tried to examine her new surroundings. She had the strangest feeling she had been in the cave before but she had no memory of it. It appeared to go deep into the side of the small cliff above her, but there was no way to see in with the darkness caused by the storm. When lightning stuck again Rin caught sight of a torch resting in a holder on the side of the cave.

_Someone has used this place before, maybe there is wood deeper in and I can make a fire._

She took the torch from its place on the cave wall and set it on the ground. She felt around for a couple of smooth stones to try and start the torch with. She knew with as wet as she was no sticks would burn in her hands even if there were any dry ones nearby. After a few minutes Rin was finally able to get the torch lit, and, taking the horse's reigns she entered deeper into the cave.

The further into the cave she went, the stronger a sense of anger and hatred claimed her heart. She knew it had to be Sesshoumaru's, but she wasn't sure if it was him at that moment or if _he_ had been here and she felt what he did then. Finally, Rin entered a small cavern, big enough to hold only a few people. Rin moved the torch across the area and found some wood already set up for a fire. She hurried over and used the torch to begin a strong blaze that quickly warmed Rin's wet body.

As light filled the hollow Rin nearly fell down in shock. An old woman was bound to the wall and by her clothing she was a miko. She stepped closer and found the woman was still alive, so Rin hurriedly retrieved the dagger from the saddlebag. Just as she was about to cut the ropes and help the woman down the feeling of hatred swelled in her and stopped her hands.

_Leave the woman alone. Whoever did this to her must have done it for a reason. Let her be._

_But she must be hurt. Maybe a demon did this to her, she is a miko. Perhaps she lost against a demon and they left her to die. I should help her._

_I have no reason to help this woman. Just because she is dressed like a miko doesn't mean she is good. I should just keep her hanging. She must have deserved it._

_I don't know that. I should help her._

_I don't have to. I should leave her._

_I should help someone who is suffering._

_But I hate her!_

Rin's own thoughts shocked her.

_Why do I hate a woman I have never met?_

_Because she is evil!_

_How do I know that?_

_I don't care! I hate her! She deserves to suffer!_

_Why?_

_Because I hate her!_

_Why?_

_Because Sesshoumaru hates her!_

_Yes, Sesshoumaru hates her, not me. I have no idea who this woman is but Sesshoumaru hates her. He put her here. He left her to die._

_So I should just forget I saw her. If she wakes I should ignore her. If Sesshoumaru believes she should die then let her._

Rin moved the dagger to the ropes binding the woman and cut them. She supported the extra weight and brought the unconscious body near the fire.

_I cannot leave a person to suffer, even if Sesshoumaru did this. No one deserves to die like that._ She looked down at the woman's pale skin and capped lips. _She must be very thirsty. One shouldn't have to know that kind of need._

She returned to her bag and brought out the two containers of water. One was halfway gone already and Rin quickly drank the rest of it, emptying every last drop. She took the second over to the woman for whom she still felt an intense hatred for and gently forced the water into her mouth being careful not to choke her. Once satisfied the woman would be all right, Rin took the empty container out to the cave entrance and held it to a stream of water falling from the ceiling.

Just as she was about finished filling the container Rin heard sounds in the cavern and hurried to check on both the woman and horse. The miko was sitting now, the water container above her head as she greedily drank the cool liquid. The horse was content to lay near the fire and didn't care about either woman. Rin approached the miko and set the newly acquired water before her. "Here is more if you are still thirsty."

The miko lowered the container from her face and stared blankly before her. She was blind. "Thank you, but how did you come here?"

"There is a storm outside, I saw this and came for shelter for me and my horse."

"Yes, I smelled the creature when I woke."

Rin was too filled with hatred and anger not to know why. "Tell me, why were you tied to the wall like that? You are a miko, aren't you?"

She nodded. "Indeed. A demon found me here and bound me against the wall to die."

"You could not seal or vanquish him?" Rin knew quite well Sesshoumaru was far stronger than this woman but didn't want to give away who she was just yet.

"I did not try to fight him. I deserved the punishment."

"But you are a miko. Mikos are holy people."

"Child, I am a more than just a miko, and far from holy. I cursed the demon's mate. It was an eternal curse, no way to break it, and she would eventually die from it. So I deserved my fate."

Rin felt the rage boil in her blood but she restrained and spoke to the tarnished miko with feigned shock. "But why would you, as a miko, do such a thing?"

"For a quick death, one that would bring justice to all the wretched acts I performed. I am dying, slowly, and I didn't want to suffer for such a long time. I was being selfish and knew when I was hired to perform the curse that the demon would come and kill me."

"So you used the demon as a means to kill yourself? Why did he not then?" Rin's curiosity got the better of her, as she was truly interested in why Sesshoumaru didn't kill the woman.

The miko sighed and took another long drink before answering. "Because his mate was suffering and wished for me to suffer as she did. Ironic that what I desired most was taken from me. Perhaps that was the most fitting punishment for my crimes."

A part of Rin screamed that it was and she should continue to suffer, but the part of her that was truly _Rin_ would not let such a thing happen. She walked over to her bag and retrieved food for both the miko and herself. The miko gladly took the food and began eating as Rin only pecked at her own.

"Tell me," the woman said between bites, "why do you still help me after I told you why I was hanging there? I deserve to be as cursed as those whose lives I took and ruined."

"I know what it feels like to be hungry and thirsty and have nothing in sight. I would not wish it on anyone." A quiet smile graced Rin's pained face. "Besides, a person should always try and help those in need, no matter who they are. I would not have met…my husband, had I not tried to help him. Even though he frightened me and pushed me away I wanted to help him." Rin scolded herself for almost using mate and giving away her relation to a demon. Even if the miko didn't know it was Sesshoumaru directly Rin didn't want to give away any clues.

"You are truly a kind soul. You should have become a miko."

Rin couldn't stop herself from laughing. _A miko mated to _Sesshoumaru_! How absurd!_

"With your compassion I do not see the idea that funny."

Rin struggled to stop her laughter. "It is merely hard to believe my husband would ever even think of marrying a miko, and I do prefer being with him than anything." Rin surprised herself with the way she talked about Sesshoumaru, even though they had yet to properly mate she spoke of him as if they had always been together. She found herself smiling at the feeling of contentment it caused.

"And where is your husband now?"

"I was returning to him when the storm hit." It wasn't a complete lie but she wasn't about to tell the miko the truth.

"This cave is far from any town, you must have been traveling."

"Yes, and I was returning home to the village some ways north of here, past the shrine."

"Of course."

Rin picked up the water container that the miko had emptied earlier and stood up. "Excuse me, I will go get some more water."

"I wasn't lying, Rin, when I said you should have been a miko."

Rin stopped and turned to the miko at the mention of her name. "My name is not Rin, it is Musume," she silently thanked Musume again, since she was so shocked it was the only name that she could come up with.

"My mistake, I thought I heard you say Rin earlier. My hearing is not what it once was."

Rin left the miko as quickly as she could without sounding in haste. The woman's hearing was fine, but Rin had never even said her name. Despite her attempts to hide her identity the miko already knew who she was. Rin's anger grew again, heating her body with every thought of contempt and loathing that passed through her mind. Still, Rin's true self won out against what she knew was Sesshoumaru's grief and she returned to the old woman giving her the container and tending to her needs throughout the night.

"Musume," the woman said as Rin was drifting in and out of sleep, "may I ask what your husband's name is?"

"Akito," Rin answered remembering the merchant's name.

"Odd, I thought that was your father's name, Musume."

Rin's eyes bolted open as she realized what she should have long ago. "You are the miko that was taking care of the shrine near the village."

"Yes, Rin, I am. It was clever of you to use her name. You are both near the same age and of similar dispositions, but I was very sure she had not married."

Rin's anger was seeping into her voice. "So that's how you figured it out?"

"No, I knew when I awoke it was you. I may be blind, but I know the aura of one bearing my curse. I am curious at how you broke it though."

"I'm sure you are." Rin both scolded and praised herself for taunting the old woman.

"Yes, I deserve that contempt you show. I cannot imagine why the fates are so cruel that they would bring to me the one person who broke my curse, and then knowing I am the one who made her suffer, help me. I suppose this is my ultimate punishment, to take charity from one who has every right to kill me."

"I could not kill you even if I wanted to," Rin said, her voice returning to its normal tone. "Sesshoumaru wants you dead, not I. The fates are not cruel, they are…just. They sent me to the one person I should truly thank."

"What have I done for you that you should thank?"

"I am no longer ashamed of myself. I always let Sesshoumaru fight my battles for me, but there, in that world, I had to do it on my own. If I hadn't overcome it by my own strength I would never have felt like I deserved my mate or anything he gave me. I would have continued to think of myself as a burden to him. So, I thank you, for cursing me."

"You are too kind, child. Rest now." The woman waved her hand and Rin suddenly felt unbearably tired. She laid her head on the cold floor beneath her and drifted into a peaceful sleep.

When Rin woke she felt stronger and livelier than ever before. The woman sat in front of the dying embers of the fire appearing to be in deep meditation. The sun's light licked at the edges of the cave leading to the outside world.

_I slept all night! How far has Sesshoumaru gotten while I was stuck in here? I cannot afford anymore delays._

She quickly ran to the saddlebag and grabbed some food, placing it before the woman. Rin then took the reigns of the well-rested stallion and headed for the land outside.

"Rin." The woman's voice shocked her as Rin hadn't though she was conscious enough to notice her leaving. "You left me some of your food though you have little to spare."

"I thought you may still be hungry. I can catch some more when I need it."

"That will slow you."

"Perhaps, but I will manage." Rin held back the fact she didn't plan on stopping for anything, even food, if she didn't have to.

"I hope my spell has healed your exhaustion. Both you and your horse will be able to go on for some time now."

"Why help one you cursed?"

"Why did you help the one who cursed you?" Rin didn't respond. "Listen carefully to me. Go to the east and you will find a river. Follow it until you reach a deep scar in the land, if you follow the river past the scar you will eventually see a canyon further east. Leave the river and go into the canyon. The way above it too harsh to travel by foot or horse, but inside there is a path.

'Keep to it till it goes up and out, be careful though, there is only one exit and you will have to double back if you miss it. From there go northeast and you will reach a village. Just past that is where Sesshoumaru now travels. He will, of course, be gone by the time you reach that place, but I am sure you will be able to find out something by then."

Rin felt as if her world had just been saved. She knew where Sesshoumaru was and how to get to him. She would be able to stop the pain that still pulsed from the mark on her neck. "Thank you."

"One more thing, Rin. You will know the scar in the land. It is your choice whether to go and see it or not. If you do not wish to see it, hold close to the river and never leave it."

"What do you mean?"

"You will understand." The woman said nothing more and returned to the meditation she had been in.

"Thank you." Rin turned and left the cave followed by the stallion who seemed ready for its enduring run.

She quickly mounted and gave one last look at the cave. "The fates do enjoy toying with my life." With that said Rin kicked the horse's side and headed east.

The river was easy to spot since the previous night's rain has flooded it slightly. She kept along its side for hours before beginning to understand the miko's words. She knew the land all right. She knew this land very well. She had spent many of her sleepless nights lost in this land, or more specifically, the scar she approached. She halted the horse and stared at the forest she was about to enter.

_Should I go there? Should I see it again?_

_Why go back to a place I have tried to escape from for so long? I'm happy never to go there again._

_Why then, do I so badly want to see it? Why do I want to look upon that place again?_

_It doesn't matter. I am going to follow the river and forget about that place._

_Perhaps that is why I need to see it. I can't just forget about it. I…I _need_ to go back._

_Then I'll return after I have Sesshoumaru with me. I cannot delay finding him. I need to stop his pain!_

_I need to see it, on my own. I cannot go with Sesshoumaru. I need to release the last of _my_ pain._

Rin tugged on the reigns and directed the horse into the forest, leaving the river's safe path. As the trees closed in on top of her Rin dismounted and led the stallion on by foot. The path was uneven and for the first time she realized that she had never seen the woods she had been in so many times. She had always run blindly on, not caring where she went. Rin knew where she was going though, her body was tense as she neared the clearing and she could feel Sesshoumaru's emotions heighten as they had in the cave. He had been here.

Rin was shocked to see a line of fallen trees blocking her path. They were too tall for the horse to jump so she tied its reigns to a low tree branch and climbed them alone. It was difficult as Rin often found the branches of another tree blocking her path but soon she began her decent into the long deserted camp.

She had not seen it since her time in captivity and it had changed drastically, though Rin could tell most of the changes were new. The land was barren beneath her feet, not a single blade of grass rose from the stagnant earth. There were no tents or fires anywhere. Not even the bones of the humans that died could bee seen. It was indeed a scar on the land, banished from the rest of the world by a barrier of decaying trees.

Rin slowly walked to the center of the area and looked at the ground. She watched as water dropped and moistened the dry dirt. She could barely stand the guilt that overwhelmed her body and attacked her soul. There were no other emotions left in the desolate land by Sesshoumaru, just guilt. There in the center of her pain and anguish, Rin wept for her mate.

When her tears were all but gone she took a deep breath and raised her head. She spoke to the ghost of her past. "I am going to leave you now. I shall never return here and you cannot stop me. I will find my mate. I will live my life with him, and you can do nothing. I will not be afraid of you ever again.

'I am not a demon's whore, or a weak human, or a burden. I am the Lady of the Western Lands. Sesshoumaru's mate, his eternal companion, and I will never be ashamed of it. I will not be ashamed of who I am."

She smiled as proudly as she could. "I win."

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Oh, for anyone wondering why Sessy can't feel Rin's emotions I put it this way. He marked her with a demon mark, which allowed her to have a part of himself, but as a human she can't "mark" him like that. He never needed to know her feelings before since her scent told him what he needed. So yeah, that is my explanation.


	8. Peace

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from InuYasha.

Got a sequel to this, Forever Mine, takes place some years later and you get to see Inu and friends in it.

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Rin left the scarred land and returned to the river. The stallion ran swiftly over the flooded earth and within a few moments she reached the curve she had washed up on during her escape attempt. As she rode on the river seemed endless and Rin began wondering how long it would take to reach the canyon. Knowing where Sesshoumaru was pushed her to the limits of her patience and she continually forced the horse to go faster. The miko's spell helped since both were refreshed and able, but Rin knew that the beast would soon tire of the pace.

Her spirit soared as the evening sun bathed the canyon she sought in a pale orange glow. Rin was slightly hesitant to enter the tear in the land, since night would soon be on her and she could easily miss the exit in the darkness. For all the reason and caution she had Rin's impatience was stronger and she led the wary stallion down the canyon's path. She allowed herself a slower pace as the shadows began outnumbering the light and Rin wished she had a torch with her.

The canyon was long and deep, at its bottom even had the sun been up no light could have reached beyond the steep and jagged walls. Rin decided to walk and lead the horse herself, allowing it some rest from the long day's journey. The dark silence that encompassed the canyon created an eerily menacing aura that Rin didn't like.

She pulled the small dagger from her bag and kept it firmly gripped in her right hand. A part of her warned her to turn around and wait for morning, but she ignored it and pressed on. Rin quickly regretted that decision. The sound of men shouting and laughing echoed through the topless canyon and ahead of her she could see small lights forming.

_A camp? Who would have a camp in the middle of a canyon?_

_I should wait till morning. Who knows who they are? They could be bandits._

_They could be merchants not wanting to travel anymore for the night. I can't know for sure unless I keep going._

_No, I can't know. If they attack me I will never be able to get to Sesshoumaru._

_And if I wait and they are bandits they could still come this way and find me in the morning. I have a better chance getting away from them in the dark._

_I shouldn't risk it. I only have a dagger to protect myself. That won't help against an entire group of men._

_I can't delay! Already Sesshoumaru is getting further away. I need to keep going. _

Rin quietly mounted the horse, not wanting to give away her presence just yet. Slowly she directed the stallion forward, being careful to not move to close to the sides and risk being boxed in. The small camp soon became clearer and Rin could count a number of fires blocking the entire expanse of the canyon floor. A large group of men sat eating and just as many horses blocked the sides of the passageway. The only way to the other side was through the camp.

_I should go back. They haven't seen me yet. There is no way through._

_There is a way. It isn't easy, but if they refuse to let me pass I can get through. They will not stop me for continuing on._

_But if they chase me and I miss the way up I will be stuck._

_I will find a way. Nothing is going to stop me._

Rin took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, a low whistle escaping her lips. _Here I go._

She kicked the stallion's flank causing it pick up its pace and make enough noise echoing in the canyon to announce her presence. A number of the men stood up and a few approached the horses. The closer she got the more they appeared to be bandits. What seemed to be the leader of the group walked into the middle of the path and halted Rin.

"Let me pass, I have no time to waste." Rin looked down at the bandit with an expressionless face.

"Come now, can't you see that you cannot just _pass_ by without giving something in compensation for the trouble you are causing us." A smirk played on his face.

Rin cast a quick look over the camp and saw most of them men were on their feet. "Little trouble since your men are standing. Just move aside as I pass and I will not bother you."

"But everyone must give us something to pass by."

"I have nothing of value to give." Rin tightened her hold on the small dagger, which she was hiding in the horse's mane.

A few of the men laughed and the smirk on the leader's face became a full lustful smile. "Oh, a young woman always has something she can give." He took a step closer.

"Lay one hand on me and you'll die. My mate won't allow such worthless human scum as yourself to touch me."

The smile disappeared from the man. "You belong to a demon and call us worthless?"

"Get out of my way, now."

Some of the men began walking towards her and the leader was smiling again. "If you are willing to lie with a demon why not come here and find out what a real man can offer."

"I wouldn't even if there were a real man standing here." Rin pulled the reigns slightly as if to prepare to turn around.

"You little bitch. I'll show you what a real man is."

"Not in this lifetime." Rin dug her heels into the horse's flank and pushed him forward, knocking over a few of the bandits in the process.

The stallion ran at full speed as the bandits nearest mounted their own horses and pursued her. Rin had a slight head start and was slowly pulling away but she knew she couldn't miss the exit out of the canyon. She strained her eyes looking for the path to divide but in the darkness it was nearly impossible to see anything. Shadows created from her hunters' torches danced on the jagged stone confusing her eyes.

Suddenly, the bandits began laughing and calling out to her. "Bitch! You missed it! All that is up there is a dead end!"

She turned and saw the path as their torches lit it up. There was no other way to leave the canyon but that road and Rin knew she was in trouble. She was still distancing herself from the lustful stalkers but it wouldn't matter once she hit the end of the canyon. Frantically, Rin searched for something that could help her escape. The walls were extremely dangerous but climbable; however even if she got off and started they would catch up with her before she got out of reach.

The path began to narrow and Rin knew she was out of time when she caught sight of a small ridge high in the wall. It was thin and wouldn't be able to hold much weight for long but if she could reach it she could pull herself up and try to climb the steep wall. She looked back to see how far her pursuers were.

_I just might make it. If I can just reach it..._

Rin put the dagger into her mouth and slowly lifted her legs into a kneeling position on the saddle, keeping a firm grip on the stallion's mane. The ridge was fast approaching and Rin knew she had to time it just right or she would lose the distance advantage. Her eyes locked on the ridge as she slid her bare feet onto the saddle but remained low to the horse.

Just as the horse's head passed under the ridge Rin stood, chest slamming against the sharp stone and hands struggling to pull her small body up. Beneath her Rin could hear the cracking of the weak ledge. Quickly she forced her body over the edge and onto the stone sanctuary not stopping to look back at her pursuers. Her fingers assaulted the canyon wall searching for the next cleft strong enough to support her weight. Below she heard the bandits stopping and yelling at each other, though none dared follow her treacherous example.

She continued up, dreading the height of the canyon. Soon she heard more horses and the leader shouting orders. He was not prepared to give up on his pray. "Wench! Do you really think you can climb up the entire canyon?" Rin didn't answer, she focused only on her movements. "If you don't fall we're going to force you down!"

A whistling sound pierced her ears and the arrow that created it struck the stone beside her. She hurried her climb but remained careful knowing falling was not an option. More arrows flew at her trying to impede her progress to her mate. Rin's anger and impatience increased with every arrow that attacked. Suddenly, a sharp pain swiftly filled her as an arrow tore threw the taut muscles in her right shoulder. No sound escaped her lips and no change occurred in her struggle against the cliff side, Rin refused to let such a small pain stop her.

On the ground the leader screamed in hatred at seeing the wounded woman continue on. She was over halfway up the wall and showed no sign of fatigue or weakness. The dagger still clenched between her teeth allowed Rin a way to release the subtle throbbing that had formed in her shoulder.

Upon seeing that Rin wouldn't give up her fight with the canyon the bandits left her to fall and die. No longer fearing more attempts to dislodge her Rin stopped and rested against the wall. Blood soaked the pale green kimono and she knew that it needed to be removed as soon as possible. Taking a deep breath she forced her limbs to move and strain. Her fingers and toes were raw by the time she finally pulled her body over the edge of the canyon.

Rin rested against the cool earth just long enough to calm her racing heart. The moon was at the horizon but it would still be a few hours before the sun rose. She sat up and tentatively touched the place where the arrow entered her body. Even the gentlest of strokes filled the area with a burning pain. It was too awkward for her to try and remove herself so Rin headed northeast, praying the village wasn't far.

Without the horse and with the slow loss of blood her traveling was slowed and it was far into morning by the time she saw the village. She dragged herself to the main road, hand holding her now numb right arm, and tried to find someone willing to help her. She was fortunate, as an old man quickly rushed to her.

"What happened to you, child?" he asked, gently leading her to a large house near the center of the village.

"Bandits…in the canyon. They attacked as I tried to get through."

He looked at her shocked. "You came through the canyon? But the road leading out is blocked, how did you get through?"

Rin sat down on a small cushion in the front room of the house. "Do you mean if I _had_ taken the main path I would have been blocked?" He nodded and she couldn't stop herself from laughing. "And here I thought the fates were just taunting me."

"How did you get out then?"

A weak smile formed on her lips. "I climbed the canyon wall."

The man's shock increased. "I've never heard anyone ever successfully climbing the canyon. You must be a strong woman. I'll be back in a moment. We have a houshi that lives here and is knowledgeable with medicines."

She nodded and watched as he left the house. It was warm, a fire still burning from the morning's meal. Rin felt her body fighting itself, parts of her wanted to relax while her arm tensed and twitched wishing the arrow to be removed. Her eyes were beginning to close in exhaustion when the old man and houshi returned.

The houshi quickly hurried to examine her wound. He was middle aged, a few gray strands hiding in his neat brown hair. "Miss, I'll need you to open your kimono. The arrow is too deep to pull out so I'm going to have to push it through. Once it's out you're going to bleed much more and I'll need access to the wound."

Rin nodded and used her left hand to open her kimono, the houshi helping when her own strength failed her. He positioned himself behind her and broke off the end of the arrow. She felt a slight pressure as he placed his hand over the wood still in her body. "This is going to hurt a lot. Would you like something to bite down on?"

Rin shook her tired head. "This will be nothing compared to what I have felt. Do it."

There was a slight hesitation before the arrow was thrust forward, destroying the last of her useable shoulder muscles, but other than her breath stopping momentarily Rin showed no reaction to the pain. The houshi quickly took a white cloth and wrapped it tightly around the wound in order to stop the bleeding. Unable to stand the exhaustion anymore, Rin entrusted the houshi with her body and passed out.

She was unsure how long she had been unconscious but when Rin awoke she found herself lying in a small room, the houshi sitting nearby. Her shoulder had been bandaged and she was dressed in a white robe. When the houshi saw her eyes open he came over and helped her up.

"Where am I?" Rin asked trying to remember everything that happened.

"You're at the house of the village headman. He saw you on the road and brought you here. I removed an arrow from your shoulder and you passed out."

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Not very long, it isn't even mid-day yet."

Rin smiled. "Thank goodness, I haven't delayed too long."

"Excuse me?"

"I need to be going. If I could have my kimono back, please."

She was about to stand but the houshi held her firmly. "You shouldn't move for some time. That wound is still very bad."

She forced his hands away and stood. "I will be fine. I must be going now." Rin stretched her aching body, moving her right arm only by aid of her left, as it was still numb. The houshi's stood shocked since she appeared to be in no pain, though Rin had merely managed to block it from her mind.

"How are you able to move without pain? Anyone else would barely be able to touch such a wound."

"Pain such as this is easy to forget."

"So _he_ has hurt you far worse than this?" She looked at him confused. "The demon that took you. You're running from that monster?"

Without thinking Rin lifted her left hand and struck the houshi hard across the face. "Do not speak of my mate in such a way. He never harmed me."

The stunned houshi rubbed his reddening cheek. "Forgive me, I didn't realize you had consented to be his mate."

"No, of course not, he is a demon so either he forced himself on me or I am a whore. There are no other options. Does it not even pass through your mind that perhaps he cares for me and I am happy to have this mark on my neck, binding me to him?"

"Since you came here hurt and alone, no, such an idea did not cross my mind. I would think a demon can easily take care of a few bandits."

"I want my kimono and then I am going to leave."

"For what? Why are you risking you health? That wound can become very threatening if not properly treated."

"My health is nothing. Once I find my mate he will heal me, so I must hurry before I lose his trail." Rin was ready to slap the houshi again if he didn't let her go.

"What if you die before you find him?"

"Then the fates are truly cruel. Give me my kimono or I will leave in this robe."

Seeing he couldn't change her mind the houshi retrieved her kimono from another room and allowed her to change. It was still stained by her blood but Rin didn't care what it looked like. She followed the houshi out to the front room where the village headman was. He looked at Rin ready to leave and hurried over to her concerned.

"Why're you heading out already. You're welcome to stay here until the wound heals."

Rin smiled at the worried man. "Thank you, but I have to continue my journey now or I will lose track of the one I search for. I am so close to where he was last seen that I cannot stop."

The man nodded. "If it's that important, then I wish you luck."

"Thank you again." She was about to leave when she turned back to the two men watching her. "Did either of you see a demon pass this way within the last day or so. He has long silver hair and travels with a small toad demon and a two headed demon horse."

The old man's face changed from concerned to shocked as he listened to Rin's question; the houshi merely shook his head. "I have felt no demons in this area for months."

"I see. Where does the path out of the village lead?"

"To another village, but it's a two day walk. I wouldn't recommend it considering your condition, but then, you aren't going to listen to me, are you?"

"Not at all. That is the way I was told to go, and though she could have been misleading me, I have no other clues to my mate's whereabouts."

"Good luck, you'll need it."

Rin bowed to them and left the house. She was still tired but she dismissed it and pressed on. She traveled the first day rather slowly, stopping to catch herself a rabbit for food. Her blood loss demanded she eat something and rest for the night. She scolded herself for the weakness but could do nothing to help it. Her pace was worse the next day, but not because of fatigue.

Rain pounded the ground before dawn even had a chance to stop it. Rin's kimono stuck to her body as she walked along the muddy path, her feet continually staining themselves only for the rain to clean them again. Her wound had re-opened and a small trail of blood ran down her arm. None of that mattered to Rin, the pulsing in her neck was stronger than ever before. Sesshoumaru was near.

She silently cursed the rain, as long as it poured her scent would be hidden and the stronger the emotions grew, the weaker Rin's sense of direction became. The pain was all around her, she couldn't find its source so she just continued forward. Her left hand held tightly to her right arm though she couldn't feel anything.

She walked on, her mind lost in a fever brought on by the pouring rain and her own diminishing health. Suddenly, she looked up to see a fork in the road. No one had given her instructions on which fork to take. She looked down both roads but saw nothing but the downpour around her.

"Sesshoumaru," Rin whispered, "where are you?"

The sorrow filling her was overwhelming her fevered body, which both burned and shivered as she stood in the torrent's path. The burning sensation filled the mark on her neck. Rin moved her kimono from her shoulder and let the cold water splash over the pulsing flesh.

"Sesshoumaru."

Rin didn't know how long she stood there at the fork, her neck exposed to the raging storm, but a familiar voice brought her out of her trance.

"Miss, miss, are you all right?"

She turned and stared with glazed eyes at the man before her. It took her a moment to focus enough on him to recognize who he was. She blinked a few times to try and clear up her view of the houshi. "Why are you here?"

"I was worried you wouldn't make so I decided to follow you. It is a good thing I did. The village isn't far, can you still walk."

She continued to blink as she tried to comprehend his words. "Village…I need…Sesshoumaru…is near."

The houshi pulled Rin's kimono back over her shoulder and picked her up. "I am going to get you to the village."

Rin rested her weary head on the houshi's chest. "But…so close."

"You can find him after you rest."

"Sesshoumaru," Rin whispered his name one more time before falling into a restless sleep.

When Rin awoke she could hear the rain pounding against wood and feel a warm fire near her. She had been changed into a dry kimono and she could hear people talking near her, one of which was the houshi. She sat up only to get dizzy and fall back. It was too hot in the room.

"Miss, are you awake?" the houshi asked.

Rin nodded as best she could but kept her eyes closed. The suffering was almost completely embedded into her and she could barely stop from crying. He was so near and her body was stopping her from finding him. If only she knew what direction, she wouldn't care what her body was doing. Just a direction.

She felt a hand against her forehead and heard a woman's voice. "Houshi-sama, her fever's high. I'm worried she won't last the night the way she is."

"She's a strong woman, that much is certain. If she can hold on tonight, she'll recover. Keep giving her the medicine to try and bring down the fever."

"Yes, houshi-sama."

Rin struggled to breathe, her lung felt heavy and her tired body didn't want to move them. She thought she heard the two talk again but couldn't figure out what they were saying.

_He is so close! Why can't I find him? I need to go and find him. Please, let me go find him._

Time was lost to Rin, but somewhere in the night the woman screamed. "Houshi-sama, her wound is open!"

She heard the man's footsteps come toward her. "Then we need to re-bandage it."

"No, that bite on her neck, it's bleeding."

Rin's eyes shot open and she brought her hand to her neck. She could feel the warm liquid flowing from the mark. _He is here!_

Before either woman or houshi could stop her Rin forced her body up and bolted for the door. The raging storm quickly soaked Rin through, but her body was burning and it felt wonderful against her skin. Her mind was still plagued by the fever and she didn't know what to do other than scream.

"Sesshoumaru! Sesshoumaru! Sesshoumaru, I'm here! I'm alive! Sesshoumaru!" Rin repeated her cries to the laughing skies, her feet turning and stumbling across the ground. The houshi ran out and tried to take her back to the house but she fought his hold and continued to scream.

Her feet tripped over themselves sending Rin to her knees. "I'm alive. I've come back to you, Sesshoumaru." Rin's body collapsed the rest of the way to the ground, mud splashing across her face. The water felt cool against her body and Rin began relaxing. The woman had run out and was yelling at something.

_Please stop yelling. I'm tired. I want to sleep._

The yelling increased until she heard the houshi's voice, then there was silence.

_Finally, it doesn't hurt anymore. I can sleep._ Rin's mind released itself before comprehending the meaning of her own thoughts.

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Saka rushed to Sesshoumaru's chambers, a pitcher of water carefully balanced in her hands. _I am going to have to speak with Sesshoumaru-sama about returning Rin-sama to us in the condition she was sent away in._

She stopped before the door. "Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Enter."

Saka quickly complied and set the pitcher down next to a basin on his table. Sesshoumaru sat in a chair next to his bed staring at the pale body of his mate who lay unconscious beneath the covers. Rin's poor health surprised Saka more than Sesshoumaru's decision to make her his mate. A part of Saka had suspected he would do so one day, but she never expected his sudden return with a battered Rin in his arms.

Rin had been in and out of a confused consciousness a few times since they arrived but it seemed to be mere fatigue. Sesshoumaru said he had healed her wounds but it seemed exhaustion still claimed her. Saka wished he would tell her what happened but Sesshoumaru merely sat in his chair silently watching Rin. She had tried to ask Jaken how Rin had been hurt but he said he didn't know.

She took the damp cloth from Rin's forehead and rinsed it out. They had all been soaking wet when they arrived and Saka didn't want Rin to get a fever. She replaced the cool rag and sat down on the other side of the bed carefully checking Rin's heart rate and breathing. When she was satisfied Rin was still doing well Saka looked at Sesshoumaru again.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, I don't understand how Rin could have gotten so ill as to need this much recovery time." Sesshoumaru didn't respond. "Would I not be able to help her better if I knew what has happened to her?"

"You need only concern yourself with ensuring she does not worsen." Sesshoumaru's voice had a hint of a growl in it.

"Forgive me, Sesshoumaru-sama, it was not my place."

He returned his attention to Rin no longer caring about Saka's presence. She went over to the table and picked up the bloodied kimono Rin had been wearing. "I will take this to be cleaned."

"Burn it." Saka turned to him confused but he didn't explain so she nodded and left.

She hurried down to the stairs and handed the kimono and orders off to a servant. Jaken was preparing the castle since Saka was to tend to Rin. She hunted the little green toad down determined to find out anything about their travels. Saka found Jaken in the main hall ordering a number of servants to jobs around the castle.

"Jaken!" The toad cringed at the sound of Saka's voice.

"What is it now, woman?"

"Jaken, you know something and you're going to tell me what happened to Rin-sama."

"I already told you I don't know how she was hurt." Jaken began to walk away but Saka grabbed him and lifted him to her face.

"Then what happened before Rin-sama was hurt?" Jaken fidgeted in her grasp.

"If Sesshoumaru-sama wanted you to know, you would know. So put me down and attend to your own duties."

"Why would it matter what happened unless he failed to protect his own mate?" The new voice shocked Saka so much she dropped Jaken to the ground.

A regal demon stood before her and just by his presence she knew he was as strong as, if not stronger than, Sesshoumaru. He looked at Saka for a moment then turned his attention to the toad on the floor.

"Where is Sesshoumaru?" his voice sounded old, but strong and commanding.

"Sesshoumaru-sama is upstairs. I will go tell him of your arrival." Jaken hurried to his feet and headed for Sesshoumaru's chamber only to be followed by the demon. "Please wait in the main hall."

The demon ignored Jaken and continued on, Saka following behind. She had no idea who this demon was, but she would be needed to take care of Rin should he challenge Sesshoumaru. Everything about this demon professed nobility and by his demeanor Saka wondered if he was one of the other three regional lords.

As they approached, the door to Sesshoumaru's chambers flew open and everyone halted. Sesshoumaru stared at the demon in his expressionless nature. "Noosu, what are you doing here?"

"I came to pay my respects to your new mate, Sesshoumaru." He sent a careful glance beyond the imposing lord to the room where Rin lay. "Unfortunately, you seemed to have failed to protect her."

A low growl escaped Sesshoumaru's throat as he stepped forward and closed the door behind him. "You are in my lands, I suggest you watch what you say."

"Sesshoumaru, do not think I come here lightly. Never did I expect _you_ to take a human mate. Considering what happened to your father."

"If you have a point, say it and leave."

"I dislike warring among the lords, and your choice risks much. Already Azuma and Seinan are questioning whether or not you will succumb to the same weakness your father did. They desire your lands and if they decide you have become weak, they will start a war."

"Why are you here then?"

"Your father and I were the oldest of the lords because we were content with our own lands and did not go to war unless provoked. Your father's choice in mating a human proved his downfall, and will be yours too unless you do something to prevent it."

"Such as?"

"Azuma and Seinan would prove a dangerous combination to fight alone, but if I were to be your ally they would not readily risk such a confrontation."

"Why bother yourself with this matter at all? It will have no impact on your lands."

"Perhaps not now, but a shift in the balance of power will eventually lead to trouble for everyone. I want to prevent that. I will not, however, be ally to anyone weaker than myself, so the solution is simple. We fight. If you are able to bring the fight to a draw or win against me I will give you my support, but if you lose I will kill you immediately and divide your land between we three remaining lords and maintain the balance."

Sesshoumaru was silent for a few moments, his stone façade not changing even a second, but finally he looked passed Noosu to Saka. "Stay with her. If she wakes do not tell her anything."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama." Saka bowed and moved to the wall letting both Noosu and Sesshoumaru to pass. Jaken followed the two demon lords, neither objecting to a witness being present.

Saka entered Sesshoumaru's chambers relieved to find Rin still asleep. Saka prayed she would remain that way till the battle was over, since Rin would no doubt know something was wrong. Saka went to the balcony and watched as Sesshoumaru, Noosu, and Jaken all disappeared from her sight.

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Rin stretched her stiff limbs, bringing her hands to her head only to have them stopped by what felt like a pillow. By the feel of it she was on a bed and a cover was draped over most of her body. Rin yawned and brought herself into a sitting position. Her body was still very tired and slightly sore, mainly in her right shoulder, but for the first time since she awoke from the curse Sesshoumaru's suffering didn't flow from the mark.

She quickly looked around trying to find her mate but saw only Saka standing out on a balcony. She didn't recognize the room, but if Saka was here she knew she was at the castle. She pulled back the covers and stood up only to get dizzy and fall back onto the bed. The noise caught Saka's attention and she rushed over to Rin.

"Where am I?"

Saka placed her hand on her forehead to check for a fever but smiled soon after. "You're in your chambers at the castle, Rin-sama."

"This isn't my room," Rin said as she looked around. It was larger than her own, and the bed she was sitting on was far too big for just her. A strong crimson blush formed on her cheeks as Rin realized this _was_ her room, hers and Sesshoumaru's.

Saka put a hand to her mouth to suppress her laughter. "Yes, this is your room now, Rin-sama."

"I see." She let her eyes pass over the room again, a smile adding to the blush on her face. "Where is Sesshoumaru?"

The smile quickly faded from Saka's face. "He's taking care of some business. He'll return later."

"When?"

"He did not say."

Rin became nervous at the vagueness of Saka's comments. Surely after everything that had happened Sesshoumaru wouldn't have gone far until she woke up. "Where is Sesshoumaru?"

"I cannot say."

"Tell me where he is!" Rin's voice was strong and forceful, shocking Saka.

"Rin-sama, I was ordered not to tell you by Sesshoumaru-sama himself."

Rin stood up slowly, taking care not to get dizzy again, and walked to the place where Saka had been standing on the balcony. She searched the landscape but saw nothing that gave her a hint of Sesshoumaru. She struggled to sense his emotions but only felt that he was focused on something, she couldn't tell what, but it was very important and…dangerous.

"Saka-sama, please, tell me, where is he?"

"Forgive me, but I cannot."

The sense of danger was increasing in her. "Is he fighting something? Is he in danger?"

"Rin-sama, I can't…"

"Damn it!" Rin screamed. "Don't treat me like I don't know something is wrong! I want to know where Sesshoumaru is and I want to know now!"

Saka stared at her a moment in shock from Rin's un-character outburst. Finally, Saka consented. "One of the other lords came and challenged Sesshoumaru-sama to a fight. If he wins the lord will ally himself with Sesshoumaru-sama."

Rin turned to look Saka in the eyes. "And if he loses?"

"He will be killed."

"How long has he been gone?"

"For longer than I would have wished."

Rin's body tensed and she looked out to the land again. Fear swelled in her body and she couldn't stop the tears from falling to the cold stone below.

_Sesshoumaru will not lose. No one can defeat him. He will return to me as I returned to him._

_But what if this demon is stronger than Sesshoumaru? What if he loses?_

_He will not lose! He cannot lose! Not when I am finally better. _

Rin trembled slightly as the wind passed her and a sharp pain pierced her neck. She slowly brought her fingers to the mark and felt her blood flow over them.

"Rin-sama, you're bleeding. Come in and let me clean it up."

"No." Rin pulled her fingers away and stared at the red liquid staining them.

"But, Rin-sama, you have just recovered and I wouldn't want you to get worse."

"This bleeds when I need it to and I will let it do so until Sesshoumaru returns to me."

Her blood quickly tarnished the silken robe she wore but Rin let it happen, not taking her eyes from ground below. She didn't wait long before the bleeding stopped and a sense of relief filled her. Her gaze ravished the ground, and, finally, she saw a glimmer of silver approaching. It was moving slowly and slightly awkward for Sesshoumaru, but Rin couldn't stop her smile.

The closer he got to the castle the clearer his image was and Rin eyes were wide with fear. Blood stained his white haori and by the limp in his stride his right leg appeared hurt. He looked up at Rin who had been ready to run to him.

"Stay there, Rin." She nodded her understanding, and he entered the castle, leaving her sight.

She rushed to the door and opened it waiting for her mate to come. That moment felt life an eternity to Rin who wanted nothing more than to see Sesshoumaru again. Finally, he appeared in the hall. Despite his obvious injuries Sesshoumaru allowed no one to assist him and still maintained his regal appearance. Rin moved aside and let him enter the room restraining her desire to run to him.

He sat on the edge of the bed and looked at Saka. "Leave us."

She quickly bowed and left the room. Rin took a tentative step toward Sesshoumaru taking in the extent of him wounds. There were a number of small cuts near his neck and blood was covering his claws, but the primary wound was a large slice along his chest. His armor had been broken and his haori was tinged pink.

"Rin," Sesshoumaru said, drawing her gaze to his golden eyes, "wash your neck off."

"You're hurt. My neck is healed already, your wounds need to be cleaned."

"I do not like to smell your blood."

"I don't want to see yours!" Rin was becoming slightly hysterical at Sesshoumaru's request.

"Rin." Sesshoumaru commanded her calm attention. "I am a demon. These will heal soon enough."

"My neck is healed, but does that make the scent of my blood any better." When he didn't respond Rin walked over to the basin and found a rag floating in the water. She picked up the basin and carefully set it on the floor in front of Sesshoumaru. "When I see no blood on you, you will see no blood on me."

Sesshoumaru said nothing but began removing what remained of his armor as Rin kneeled before him and rung the cloth out. She held back her tears as he removed his haori and under shirt exposing a deep gash in his torso. His demon body had already stopped the bleeding but the wound was still severe and Rin was tender as she pressed the cloth to his chest.

She could feel his eyes watching her every movement, a slight confusion stinging in her mark. When she had cleaned the wound to her satisfaction she moved up to the cuts on his neck but his hand took hers, causing her to look at him.

"Rin, how are you here?" His voice was soft, almost hesitant.

"I couldn't let you suffer, so I fought the curse, and I won. I am not weak anymore."

"How did you know it wasn't real?"

A gentle smile crossed her lips. "Your mark. It bled and showed me the truth. I felt the pain you were in and I didn't care what was real. I just wanted to return to you again."

His face showed no change but Rin could feel the guilt returning to him. He released her hand and she finished washing the blood from him. Tears brimmed in her eyes but she didn't lower her head to hide them. There was no way his demon senses would not know, and she wanted to show him she was no longer ashamed of herself. She wanted him to see the strength he gave her.

When she was done Rin picked the basin up and took it back to the table, almost dropping it along the way. Her fatigue was not completely gone and her body was beginning to wear down again. She stood over the basin a moment trying to hide her weakness, but it was useless and she turned to see Sesshoumaru standing over her.

"Your body is still weak."

She lightly shook her head. "It will pass."

He reached past her and took the now pink cloth in his hand. Sesshoumaru gently pushed her collar over her left shoulder exposing part of her chest where the blood had dripped down. Her body trembled as the cold cloth touched her skin and he began wiping away the already dried blood. He stopped after the mark was cleaned and looked down with his cold eyes.

"Do you even want that mark?"

His question made Rin's breath stop in her lungs. "Of course I do. It connects me to you and I never want it any other way. Do you not want me to be your mate?"

"That mark may bring you more suffering. My enemies will target you and try to hurt me through you. They will see you as my weakness."

"_Am_ I a weakness to you?"

Sesshoumaru washed the last of the blood from her body. "I thought you would be, but now, I understand."

"Understand what?" Rin asked as he dropped the cloth back into the basin.

"When I want to protect you, I become stronger. But even with that I could not protect you from the curse."

"You did protect me, because it was your mark that showed me the truth. If I didn't have it I would have died in that nightmare. And no matter what trouble it might bring I would never want to lose your mark."

Sesshoumaru lifted his hand to her face and her lips to his own. Rin didn't need the mark to feel his care and passion; they filled her with the kiss. Her already weakened legs threatened to give out just before he pulled away from her. Still his face only showed a slight exhaustion; not one emotion she just felt was even hinted in his expression.

"You are still weak. You should rest."

Rin managed an unsteady laugh. "You should rest more than I. Your wounds are severe despite your demon body."

"Then lie with me."

She nodded and moved with him to the bed. Her body trembled slightly since she had never before slept next to her mate. She was about to lie down when his hand rested on her shoulder. "I do not want to smell your blood."

Rin looked down and realized her robe was stained and his nose could still catch the scent. Her shaking hands removed the thin garment and tossed it onto the floor before sliding beneath the covers. A moment later she felt Sesshoumaru join her. His arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her against his bare skin.

Quickly Rin's trembling ceased and her muscles relaxed. His hold was strong and protective, yet gentle and caring. From the mark on her neck she could feel his desire, but unlike the night in the hot spring, this feeling was different. It was not a desire of lust, but a sensual desire to just have her near him. A desire she completely returned.

The End 


End file.
